#007: Unmasking High Functioning Codependency with Terri Cole

In this episode, renowned psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Stan Tatkin joins Mark Groves to unpack the emotional landmines couples face when transitioning into parenthood—and how to avoid them. Drawing from decades of research and his new book Baby Bomb, Dr. Tatkin breaks down why so many relationships collapse after a baby arrives, the hidden dynamics that trigger resentment and disconnection, and why co-regulation—not self-reliance—is the key to thriving love. He introduces powerful frameworks like “fighting for two winners” and building relational systems that prioritize interdependence, safety, and repair. Whether you're a new parent or simply want to future-proof your relationship, this episode is a must-listen blueprint for deeper connection and conscious partnership.Stan's Links:Dr. Tatkin’s InstagramThe PACT Institute WebsiteCTL Links:Website: www.createthelove.comCourses: www.createthelove.com/coursesWhere are you stuck in love? Take the quiz: https://markgroves.involve.me/where-are-you-stuck-in-love-quiz Mark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmastery

In this solo episode, Mark Groves dives deep into the misunderstood fear of commitment—revealing it’s not about avoiding partnership, but about distrusting love and our capacity to hold it. With raw personal stories and powerful reframes, he unpacks the emotional roots of avoidance, the illusion of safety in certainty, and why real commitment begins with unwavering devotion to self. This episode is a call to stop shrinking for love and start choosing relationships that elevate, challenge, and liberate you. If you’ve ever questioned whether love is safe, or whether you can trust yourself in it, this one is a must-listen.Website: www.createthelove.comCourses: www.createthelove.com/coursesWhere are you stuck in love? Take the quiz: https://markgroves.involve.me/where-are-you-stuck-in-love-quiz Mark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookMark's Substack: https://substack.com/@markgrovesGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmastery

In this episode, Mark Groves and Rachel Fiori explore the sacred intersection of the human and the divine. From the idea that our souls choose our families for the purpose of growth, to the reframing of trauma as a curriculum for transformation, this conversation invites you into a new level of self-responsibility. Unpack the power of breaking life-long patterns—not just by becoming aware of them, but by taking immediate, aligned action. Authentic healing isn’t a feel-good bypass or a quick fix. It’s the gritty, courageous work of facing your pain with open eyes and an open heart. It’s warrior work.Rachel Fiori is the founder & CEO of Masters of Self University. With a Masters of Science in Occupational Therapy (specializing in mental, emotional, & behavioral health), a BA in Business/Corporate Communications, and through the use of her psychic abilities of spiritual healing and vibrational medicine, Rachel has been healing clients at the soul level for over twenty-five years.Rachel's Links:Website | https://www.mastersofselfuniversity.comInstagram | @rachel_fioriTikTok | @rachel_fioriCTL Links:Website: www.createthelove.comCourses: www.createthelove.com/coursesWhere are you stuck in love? Take the quiz: https://markgroves.involve.me/where-are-you-stuck-in-love-quiz Mark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookHow are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots

In this refreshingly honest conversation, Mark Groves and Therapy Jeff rip the shame out of attachment styles and self-awareness in dating. Jeff doesn’t just normalize your need for reassurance—he commands you to own it, while dismantling the outdated narrative that vulnerability is unattractive. With unapologetic wit, he challenges listeners to recognize their red flags, explore the roots of their emotional patterns, and get radically real about what they need in relationships. If you've ever felt "too much" or wondered when it’s okay to ask for clarity, this episode will shift your mindset and invite you to stop performing and start relating. Listen in and redefine what healthy love really looks like.Jeff Guenther is a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Oregon. He’s been a therapist since 2005 and his practice focuses on both couples and individuals. These days, he spends most of his spare time making one-minute videos for TikTok and Instagram, and more in-depth content on Patreon. Consider following him on all the platforms for relationship advice, tips, pep talks and other resources to maximize your mental health.Jeff's Links: Website | therapyjeff.com & therapyden.comInstagram | @therapyjeffTikTok | @therapyjeffPatreon | @therapyjeffCTL Links: Website: www.createthelove.comCourses: www.createthelove.com/coursesWhere are you stuck in love? Take the quiz: https://markgroves.involve.me/where-are-you-stuck-in-love-quiz Mark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookHow are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots

In this episode, Mark is joined by manifestation expert and founder of To Be Magnetic, Lacy Phillips, to disrupt everything you think you know about manifestation. Together, they explore why positive thinking alone doesn't work, how your subconscious beliefs—often rooted in childhood and relational experiences—block abundance and love, and how to reprogram those blocks using a neuroscience-based method called neural manifestation. With real-life examples and powerful insights on the link between love, money, and self-worth, learn to break free from old patterns, reclaim your innate magnetism, and finally manifest the life your soul is truly calling in.LACY'S LINKS:Website: https://tobemagnetic.comThe Pathway – Membership: https://www.howtomanifest.com/p/the-pathwayInstagram: @tobemagneticCTL LINKS:Website: www.createthelove.comCourses: www.createthelove.com/coursesWhere are you stuck in love? Take the quiz: https://markgroves.involve.me/where-are-you-stuck-in-love-quiz Mark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmasteryHow are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots

In this episode, I sit down with the legendary Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—renowned relationship experts and creators of Imago Dialogue—for a powerful conversation on the art of conscious communication. We explore how to transform conflict into connection, why structure is essential for relational safety, and how the practice of asking for permission before speaking can radically change the dynamics of a relationship. Drawing from their latest book, How to Talk to Anyone About Anything, Harville and Helen demonstrate live how structured dialogue can retrain our nervous systems and create space for curiosity, empathy, and deep understanding. Whether you’re in a relationship or seeking better communication in every part of your life, this episode is packed with paradigm-shifting insights you won’t want to miss.Harville & Helen’s Links: Previous Episode  Instagram  Website Website | Safe Conversations  Website | Imago Relationship Book: How to Talk with Anyone about AnythingCTL Links:Website: www.createthelove.comMark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmasteryHow to Stop Chasing Unavailable People: https://markgroves.com/stopchasing

In this episode of the Create the Love podcast, Mark sits down with relationship coach Silvy Khoucasian to explore the transformative power of attachment theory in deepening our relational awareness. Silvy breaks down the four core attachment styles and explains how early caregiving experiences shape the way we connect, communicate, and repair in adult relationships. She shares how greater self-awareness, empathy, and mutual responsibility can shift us toward secure, fulfilling bonds—whether in romance or friendship. If you’ve ever struggled with intimacy, conflict, or emotional patterns, this conversation offers a compassionate roadmap to healthier, more conscious relationships.Silvy Khoucasian is a relationship coach and writer with a Master’s in Psychology (Marriage & Family Therapy), known for her work on boundaries, attachment, and self-awareness. Drawing from over a decade of experience, she helps individuals create healthier relationships through coaching, and courses.Silvy's Links: Website: www.silvykhoucasian.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/silvykhoucasian/CTL Links: Website: www.createthelove.comMark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookHow are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots

In this powerful solo episode, Mark challenges listeners to break free from people-pleasing, reclaim their identity, and make soul-aligned choices that reflect true self-love. With raw honesty, he explores how relationships can be a mirror for growth and a catalyst for transformation—if we're willing to choose discomfort over conformity. This is your call to rise, to stand in your truth, and to create the life and love you truly deserve.Links:Website: www.createthelove.comCTL Community: www.createthelove.com/communityMark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookHow to Stop Chasing Unavailable People: https://markgroves.com/stopchasing

In this episode, Mark sits down with psychotherapist and author Terri Cole to dissect the misunderstood concept of codependency—specifically the overlooked phenomenon of high-functioning codependency. With raw honesty and clinical insight, Terri challenges listeners to reconsider their own behaviors, revealing how being overly invested in others’ emotions, choices, and outcomes can mask a covert quest for control rooted in childhood survival strategies. Whether you’re constantly offering unsolicited advice or excusing toxic behavior, this conversation unpacks how self-abandonment and adaptive dysfunctions silently erode our capacity for intimacy. Prepare to be called in—and called out.Terri's Links:Terri’s Book: https://hfcbook.com/ Terri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Terri’s Website: https://www.terricole.com/ Terri & Mark’s Crushing Codependency Course: https://crushcodependency.com/mark CTL Links:Website: www.createthelove.comCTL Community: www.createthelove.com/communityMark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmastery

In this episode of Create the Love, Mark Groves sits down with Sheleana Aiyana to dig into why we repeat relationship patterns—and how to finally break them. They unpack childhood wounds, attachment styles, and the difference between falling into love and consciously choosing it. If you've ever said, "Why do I keep dating the same person?"—this one's for you.Sheleana Aiyana is the founder of Rising Woman, a growing community of more than 3 million readers. Her training and immersion in couples facilitation, inherited family trauma, family systems, conscious relationship, somatic healing, and plant medicines inform her holistic approach to seeing relationships as a spiritual path. More than 30,000 women in 146 countries have taken her flagship program Becoming the One.Sheleana Aiyana | Instagram Rising Woman | InstagramRising Woman | WebsiteBecoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to YourselfCTL Links:Website: www.createthelove.comCTL Community: www.createthelove.com/communityMark's Book: www.markgroves.com/bookGet our Relationship Toolkit: How to Thrive in Your Relationships: https://markgroves.com/relationshipmastery