Your Emotions Matter (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Erin and Dr. Greg Smalley continue their discussion with Debra Fileta about emotional awareness, warning against “spiritual bypassing” that skips hard feelings with spiritual phrases. We also talk about the impact of trauma as either muting emotions or creating hypervigilance and “false alarms.” Healing your emotions can happen. Listen to this conversation and honestly ask "Where am I in all of this?" Reach out to our counseling department if you need more help. Get the Book: Are You Really OK?Reactive Cycle AssessmentArticle on Healing SeparationEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple.Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor Marriage Assessment ToolMarriage Health In America StudyCheck Out Hope Restored

Do you prioritize spiritual health while neglecting emotional health? Have you intentionally aligned with the Holy Spirit when it comes to your feelings? Drs. Erin and Greg Smalley discuss cultural stigmas around expressing emotions with Debra Fileta, author of Are You Really Okay? They outline conversational levels, how to check in with your spouse, and what NOT to talk about on date nights. The listener Q&A involves a stressed out wife who hasn't set clear boundaries. This is just the beginning of this important conversation. Get the Book: Are You Really OK?Reactive Cycle AssessmentArticle on Healing SeparationEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple.Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor Marriage Assessment ToolMarriage Health In America StudyCheck Out Hope Restored.

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley interview Pastor Kevin A. Thompson about his book The Creation of Us. Kevin emphasizes that marriage is its own entity where both spouses maintain individuality while building shared rhythms, mission, and unity. We talk about good dependence versus independence or enmeshment, how marriage reveals and can help heal attachment wounds, and “marital attention deficit.” We'll outline the phases of marriage and we answer a listener question about weaponizing sex.The Creation of Us: How To Build A Great Marriage Without Losing YourselfMarriage Assessment ToolReactive Cycle ToolLove Styles: Why You Love The Way You Do (And How to Change It)Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A CounselorMarriage Health In America StudyCheck Out Hope Restored.

We're continuing our discussion of the “manosphere,” reviewing how it distorts headship and submission and focusing on three additional lies: that emotional vulnerability is weakness, that women are biologically untrustworthy, and that a wife’s body belongs to her husband. Greg and Erin contrast these ideologies with scriptures calling husbands to sacrificially love, cherish, nourish, honor, and create safety so a wife can flourish. We'd love to hear your thoughts on these episodes, so click on the show notes to get in touch with us.Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & GodlinessWhat Is Biblical Leadership ArticlCheck out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the Manosphere and the “Christian Manosphere." This is a program that you want to share with all the men in your life. Greg shares research from months of reading forums and explains the first three of six lies that many men are believing. We also go into what submission means for women. Part two is coming up next week, and we can't wait to hear your thoughts after listening to these programs.Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & GodlinessCheck out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what it means to leave a marital legacy by building a healthy foundation -- with intentional core values -- rather than living by default. Guest Lain McCanless of Rally Your Family describes practical tools to guide decisions, unify spouses, and model faithfulness across generations.This is something you can start today! Then, Greg and Erin share how they fashioned their family crest, and they encourage you try this exercise with your family. Plus, they answer a listener question about leaving a husband who has pawned family heirlooms.Finishing Well: Biblical Lessons to Maximize Your Later YearsJoin The Focus On The Family Strengthening Marriages Facebook GroupHere's Information on a Healing SeparationEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailThe "Be" List

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are joined by Bob Lepine to discuss how guilt, shame, and past wounds affect marriage. If unresolved hurts are triggering conflict in your relationship, listen to this episode and then share it with your spouse. We also talk about building a healthy sexual relationship and adjusting unrealistic expectations shaped by culture. You'll learn how self-regulate when you go into fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, too. Plus, we answer a listener question about how to move forward when someone's medical treatment has changed them.Building A Stronger Marriage: The Path To OnenessHope RestoredConflict Style QuizEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor

Does it feel like your life is being interrupted? Financial issues, health concerns, and disagreements with family members can all throw a wrench into our plans. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley talk with Julie Plagens, who describes common interruptions in her life. We address the need for control, people-pleasing, and messages from how a strict faith background fueled anger and unforgiveness. Greg and Erin also talk about benefits of spending time outdoors together, and they answer a listener about chronic blame in marriage. This is a "meat & potatoes" episode we know you'll enjoy.Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in LoveHope RestoredConflict Style QuizEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster.Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley focus on infidelity with Brad and Tami Miller. They discuss how couples drift through busyness, unmet emotional needs, validation-seeking, social media connections, and contrast emotional vs. physical affairs. They also have helpful ideas for couples to avoid the "chore war" and they tackle a listener question about a wife who seems to weaponize the mistakes her husband made in the past. If you know someone who has experienced infidelity, share this link with them!Anatomy of An AffairJoin Our Facebook Group!Hope RestoredEnjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor

You're really going to be blessed by this program, even if you and your spouse share the same faith. Greg and Erin talk with David McIver, author of Looking For The One. David teaches that loving a spiritually different spouse means seeing them through Jesus’ eyes and praying about where the trust was first broken rather than focusing on behavior. Greg and Erin also talk about a couple that have been married for 84 years, and they answer a listener question about inter-faith marriage and children.Looking For The One: Stories of Seeing The Lost, Lonely, and Broken Through The Eyes of JesusAvoiding Marriage PitfallsFind ALL of the Focus On The Family Podcast!Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music!Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or EmailSpeak With A Counselor