Conversation 6: Healthy Boundaries, Part 1 -- Cultivating Aliveness

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin talks with clinical psychologist Kael Cockcroft about the origins of personality disordering, what it's like when giftedness and personality disordering overlap, and therapeutic and personal paths to wholeness. Personality disordering is about getting stuck in limited strategies for relating and surviving, due to restrictive emotional and relational environments as a child. Giftedness is about high intellectual and often emotional, creative and existential complexity. The combination of gifted complexity and structural personality rigidity make life particularly challenging for individuals in this overlap, but paths for change and thriving do exist, and Kael shares the healing wisdom earned from his extensive experience treating this population. Jennifer and Kael also discuss the challenges of giftedness and narcissism that are particularly dominant in highly disruptive subcultures, for example in the tech world, and how we as individuals and the collective need to take agency in how we relate to and educate the world about intelligence, narcissism and what true, embodied and wise paths to individual and collective thriving are. To learn more about Kael and his work, go to www.stormsedgetherapy.co.uk To learn more about Jennifer and InterGifted, go to www.intergifted.com If you're a therapist or coach who is interested in attending a professional training program with Kael and Jennifer on these themes, write to us at [email protected].

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin and gifted therapist, coach & improv instructor Gordon Smith explore how humor and play are essential elements to our healing path. Healthy humor and the authenticity and spontaneity of playfulness allow us to connect to ourselves and to others in unique and deeply grounding and meaningful ways. We explore Gordon's journey from gifted kid to gifted therapist and why and how humor became a key focus in his work with the gifted population. You'll hear lots of stories from his gifted improv groups, learn a bit about humor theory, and laugh with us as we play around with some improv in the episode. For complete show notes and links to the resources mentioned in this episode, go to: www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma. To learn more about Gordon, go to www.giftedandgrowing.org. To learn more about our work at InterGifted, go to www.intergifted.com.

In episode 13, Jennifer Harvey Sallin and gifted coach and leader Eva Bruchez take listeners’ questions on healing from gifted trauma. They explore the role of “little t” trauma in the life of a gifted person, the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect (including a lack of loving touch), and the complications of narcissistic parenting on gifted children in developing a strong sense of self in the world. They also discuss the sense of imprisonment gifted people can feel when they’re constrained to the neuronormative box, as well as the creative trauma that can come about as a result of schooling in a capitalist system. In addition to addressing what kind of support and involvement gifted people can expect from others in their lives (friends, professionals, colleagues, family) as they progress on their healing journey, they emphasize the essential role of innate creativity, self-responsibility, and a willingness to embrace one’s own unique experiences and path as an act of healing. We hope you enjoy it! Resources mentioned in this episode can be found here. Learn more about Jennifer Harvey Sallin & InterGifted at www.intergifted.com.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin talks with psychologist and founding president of The Dabrowski Center, Christiane Wells, on the topic of giftedness, positive disintegration and mental health. Chris became an expert on Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration after learning in her 30's how much the theory positively reframed her experiences as a child and young adult struggling with what she thought -- and was told by mainstream psychiatry -- were various mental illnesses. Through the frame of overexcitabilties and advanced personality development, Chris realized that the traits she had considered proof of her "brokenness" were actually full of developmental potential and gave her a unique and meaningful perspective on what life is and what makes it worth living. As a profoundly gifted person, Chris had never fulfilled conventional expectations of what a "genius" should do and be, but with this new understanding, she realized that her combination of giftedness and overexcitabilities were calling her to a life of meaning far outside of the stereotypes of the competitive, successful gifted overachiever. Her giftedness is best expressed in deep emotional connection and bringing complex information about healing and wholeness to people in a way they can understand and deeply benefit from it. That's what she does now through The Dabrowski Center, via her Positive Disintegration Podcast, and in her private practice supporting gifted and overexcitable clients.     In addition to hearing Chris's story, Jennifer and Chris discuss the the limits of mainstream views on mental health, the harm of normative stereotypes on gifted people, the differences between the intensity of overexcitabilities and the complexity of giftedness, how not all gifted people have overexcitabilities and not all overexcitable people are gifted, how gifted trauma and trauma from being overexcitable and misunderstood are different from each other, and advice and resources for listeners.  __ You’ll find the complete list of this episode’s reading recommendations, including links to Chris's bio, at www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma __ To learn more about InterGifted and our community and services for gifted adults, go to www.intergifted.com.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin talks with The G Word Film director Marc Smolowitz on the topic of intergenerational and collective traumas, how they affect giftedness expression, and how we can find empowerment and healing. Marc was born into a family of holocaust survivors, came out as gay in his teens, lost countless friends during the height of the AIDS epidemic, and even nearly died of AIDS himself when he was in his 30's. These family-line, societal and personal traumas intersected with and affected Marc’s experience and expression of giftedness all along his life path, sometimes in very difficult ways and sometimes in very empowering ways. He shares his story with us, and how he has taken his various identities (some of which were born in trauma) and woven them together into resilient and rooted authenticity. He shares the role that community has played in his life, and how each of us has the opportunity to use the lives we’ve been born into and the adversity we face to ultimately strengthen our self-understanding, pride in our identities, and our meaningful connection to life and others. __ You’ll find the complete list of this episode’s reading recommendations, including links to Marc’s bio and film company websites, at www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma __ To learn more about InterGifted and our community and services for gifted adults, go to www.intergifted.com. __ To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin talks with Dutch giftedness specialist, coach, lecturer, trainer and author Lotte van Lith. Jennifer & Lotte explore the types of loneliness a gifted person can experience, including intellectual, emotional, family, social, physical, existential, creative, physical and more. Giftedness is about exchange, and when we cannot share our giftedness, it can feel as though it isn’t real or doesn’t exist, and that can lead to feelings of deep isolation from humanity and from ourselves. Given our modern cultures have pushed us toward emotional disconnection and relational separation through restricted narratives about what life is, who we are, and what giftedness is, it is our work as gifted individuals to open up our minds and hearts to a broader understanding of ourselves, life, and our relationship to the various forms of intelligence that exist throughout the earth and beyond. The Art of Gifted Connection is, in other words, deep work that we do to become aware of, in humble awe of, and in grateful and generous communion with the complexity in and all around us - biologically, emotionally, philosophically, cosmologically. __ You’ll find the complete list of this episode’s reading recommendations, including links to Lotte’s websites, at www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma __ To learn more about InterGifted and our community and services for gifted adults, go to www.intergifted.com. __ To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin and ecotherapist & coach Eric Windhorst explore our connection to our inner & outer nature, as well as to fundamental consciousness. When fragmentation caused by trauma keeps parts of us disconnected from what is true within us and around us, we can provide conditions to welcome the fragmented parts back home. Time in outer nature, compassionate attention to our inner nature, connection to fundamental consciousness, and importantly, support from loving people in our lives are the ingredients for healing and growth. Eric shares moving stories of clients' healing journeys, as well as deep insights for listeners on their own healing path.  You can learn more about Eric's work at www.ericwindhorst.ca To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted. __ More information available about gifted adult development via www.intergifted.com.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin & Karin Eglinton conclude our three-part episode series on healthy boundaries by exploring the cultivation of inner organization. Particularly important in this discussion are educational trauma and various dominant ideologies which, when unnamed and unnoticed, make it difficult for us to show up in the world in an organized, generative and well-boundaried manner. We explore the process of self-reeducation and unlearning that many of us must commit to in order to recover our inner organization, employ healthy boundaries, and inhabit our place and role in the current world. You'll find links to resources mentioned in this episode at: www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted. __ More information available about gifted adult development via www.intergifted.com.

In this episode, Jennifer Harvey Sallin & Karin Eglinton continue our exploration on cultivating healthy boundaries by looking deeply at individual, social and collective coherence and its role in helping us to be generative and boundaried adults. This is one of our longer episodes, and it reflects the importance of this topic in our world of quickly compiling and accelerating crises and conflicts. This is part 2 of 3 in our cultivating healthy boundaries episode series. You'll find links to resources mentioned in this episode at: www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted. __ For more on gifted adult development, to to: www.intergifted.com.

In this episode, which is part one of a three-part series of episodes, Jennifer Harvey Sallin & Karin Eglinton explore an essential topic to healing from gifted trauma: cultivating healthy boundaries. We introduce the themes of cultivating aliveness, coherence, and inner organization in helping us heal from trauma and create sustainable relationships. This episode focuses specifically on the cultivation of aliveness. We explore how our sense of full aliveness can become distorted or dampened through trauma, how that affects our relationships, and how we can reconnect with our full aliveness as a healthy boundary for generative relationships. Links to resources mentioned in this episode can be found at: www.intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma To support our podcast, consider making a donation at: www.paypal.me/intergifted __ For more information on gifted adult development, visit www.intergifted.com