Flexibility vs. Adaptability: Why Going "Back to Normal" is a Trap with Tom Sligting

Over the last few years, we've all patted ourselves on the back for being incredibly "flexible" during times of change. During the pandemic we worked from home, mastered Zoom, and kept the lights on. But are we actually adaptable? In this archive episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata sits down with global speaker and comedian Tom Sligting  to explore the critical difference between flexibility and true adaptability. Tom argues that the desire to go "back to normal" proves that while we may be flexible in the short term, we are struggling with the long-term mindset shifts required to be truly adaptable. Using the brilliant analogy of the 2006 smartphone, Tom explains why sweeping changes fail and why adaptability requires us to embrace discomfort. Discover why your brain's autopilot is your biggest enemy, how to identify your weakest "power skills," and why bringing a 21-year-old onto a veteran team isn't enough to future-proof your business if the mindset doesn't change. Key Takeaways The iPhone Metaphor: Why handing a 2006 professional a modern smartphone with all its current demands would have caused a total rejection of the technology—and what that teaches us about organisational change. Flexibility is Reactive, Adaptability is Proactive: Understand the fundamental difference between making a short-term adjustment to survive a crisis versus making a long-term, life-changing shift in direction. The Autopilot Trap: Why 95% of our daily decisions are made on autopilot, and why you literally have to force yourself to feel "unsafe" and uncomfortable to become adaptable. "Power Skills" over "Soft Skills": Why we need to rebrand skills like mental flexibility, grit, and emotional range, and how measuring them can reveal hidden weaknesses in your leadership team. The Danger of the "Back to Normal" Mindset: Why the most common phrase heard post-COVID is actually a massive red flag for businesses that want to survive the next decade. Actionable Insights Audit Your "Power Skills": Stop guessing how adaptable you are. Seek out assessments or feedback that measure specific power skills. Identify the one or two areas where you score lowest and create a targeted plan (a book, a course, a mentor) to improve them. Embrace the Uncomfortable: True adaptability requires moving out of your comfort zone. When you face a change, resist the urge to rely on your "autopilot" reactions. Stop, reflect, and consciously accept that feeling uncomfortable is the first necessary step toward long-term growth. Leverage Your Network for Validation: When you make a major, adaptable shift in your career or business model, you will experience doubt. Lean on a trusted network of peers who can reflect back to you, validate your new direction, and provide the energy needed to keep you from retreating to your old, comfortable habits. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Tom Sligting : Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 177 Featuring Tom Sligting

How do you unite a team of elite athletes who all have full-time day jobs, zero financial incentive, and have just endured a pandemic-delayed tournament cycle? And more importantly, how do you do it in a way that actually wins a World Cup? In this inspiring archive episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata sits down with inspirational speaker and performance coach Steve Head. Steve was the "1%" mindset coach behind the England Wheelchair Rugby League team’s stunning 2022 World Cup victory. Steve reveals the counter-intuitive truth about motivating elite performers (hint: they don't need motivation) and shares the exact, grassroots process he used to help the team define their core values. This is a masterclass in ditching the "eye-roll" of corporate buzzwords. Discover why the most powerful values are written in messy Sharpie on a flip chart, launched by the team rather than the boss, and sustained by a culture of absolute selflessness and sacrifice. What You Will Learn In This Episode The Motivation Myth: Why you cannot "motivate" elite performers who have already overcome immense adversity (like losing limbs in combat), and what they actually need from a coach instead. The 20% Rule: Why losing focus for just 60 seconds in a fast-paced game (or business environment) can completely derail your entire operation. The "Eye Roll" of Corporate Values: Why top-down, management-dictated values always fail, and how to facilitate a process where the team builds their own. The Power of the "Quiet Voice": Why identifying and empowering the highly respected, quiet leaders in your team is the key to launching a successful culture shift. The "Messy Sharpie" Commitment: Why authenticity—like signing a raw, messy flip chart—is far more effective at securing team buy-in than a polished, multi-million-pound corporate rollout. Actionable Insights Ditch the Top-Down Rollout: If you want your team to adopt new values or standards of behavior, do not present them as a finished product. Facilitate a session where a small, highly respected group of team members brainstorm and refine the values themselves. Let the Team Launch the Culture: When introducing new values or strategies to the wider organisation, step back. Have the respected team members who helped create the values present them. Peer-to-peer communication carries far more credibility and eliminates the "boss's new initiative" cynicism. Create a Physical Symbol of Commitment: Make buy-in tangible. Just as the England team signed an A1 flip chart with a Sharpie, find a simple, unpolished way for your team to physically signal "I'm in." Carry that symbol with you as a constant, authentic reminder of the behaviors that drive everything you do. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Steve Head: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 176 Featuring Steve Head

What happens when you strip away the assumption that success is measured solely by profit? In this deeply authentic conversation,  Andy Lopata is joined by Paul Hargreaves to explore how commercial businesses can thrive by putting people and the planet at the centre of their operations. Paul opens up about his non-traditional path to business—from spending over a decade doing inner-city charity work in Deptford, South London, to starting Cotswold Fayre from the back of his car. He shares the painful reality of a massive warehouse management system failure in 2014 that nearly collapsed the business, explaining why the resulting team restructuring was a vital "pruning process" that paved the way for B Corp certification. Andy and Paul discuss the practicalities of leading with values, why Cotswold Fayre uses "heart and soul" questions to recruit for character over skills, the underutilised power of intuition in decision-making, and how Paul addresses executive loneliness. Finally, Paul defines "The Fourth Bottom Line," explaining why global change must start with the personal, internal transformation of the leader. Why might a catastrophic IT failure be the best thing that ever happens to your company culture? Discover how a business crisis can act as a natural filter, stripping away toxic patterns and misaligned team members. What are "heart and soul" questions, and how can they revolutionise your hiring process? Explore how to move past CV skills and interview candidates purely for character, deep motivation, and cultural fit. Is your workplace community crossing the line from supportive to destructive? Learn the subtle difference between healthy team friendships and negative, external relationships that can actively drag an organisation down. What is "The Fourth Bottom Line"? Find out why trying to solve massive global problems like climate change will fail unless leaders undergo a profound personal and internal transformation first. Download the full episode to discover how to align your personal growth with your business success! SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Paul Hargreaves: Website |LinkedIn | YouTube Paul Hargreaves' Books: Forces for Good and The Fourth Bottom Line Paul's Podcast: 4th Bottom Line People Mentioned: Giles Hutchins (Sussex Woods), Ben Brabin (Walking platform), Luke Ambler (Andy's Man Club). The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring What we discussed in this episode:

Does your pursuit of happiness actually make you miserable? In a world obsessed with Instagram-perfect lives and self-help gurus promising a "magic bullet," it's easy to feel like you are failing if you aren't constantly happy. In this refreshing and deeply honest archive episode, Andy Lopata speaks with Paul McGee (aka "The SUMO Guy"), author of The Happiness Revolution. Bringing his trademark "Mancunian, no-bull" perspective to personal development, Paul dismantles the myth of toxic positivity and the dangerous belief that negative emotions are something to be "fixed." Discover the liberating concept of "Hippo Time," why capitalism thrives on making you feel inadequate, and how the insidious nature of social media comparison is impacting our mental health. This is a vital conversation for anyone who wants to stop faking it and start living a more grounded, authentic, and emotionally agile life. What You Will Learn In This Episode The Instagram Illusion: How the ability to compare our unedited lives with the edited highlight reels of billions of other people is fueling modern unhappiness. The Capitalism of Inadequacy: Why consumer culture relies on the myth that "you are never quite enough" to keep you endlessly searching for happiness in the next purchase. The "Hippo Time" Philosophy: Why giving yourself permission to wallow, feel sad, and digest your disappointment is crucial for long-term emotional resilience. The Danger of the Magic Bullet: Why the self-help industry's promise of a single, easy "fix" for your life is a destructive lie that prevents genuine growth. The Hidden Signs of Struggle: Why we must stop assuming that people who are struggling will ask for help or show obvious warning signs  Actionable Insights Audit Your "Mental Diet": Be as conscious of what you feed your mind as what you feed your body. When scrolling through social media (especially the comment sections), actively ask yourself: "Is reading this making me angry or anxious?" If the answer is yes, log off. Protect your mental bandwidth. Embrace "Hippo Time": Stop forcing positivity. When you experience a setback or a low mood, grant yourself a specific, boundaried amount of "Hippo Time" to simply wallow and feel the negative emotion without guilt. Acknowledging the emotion is the first step to processing it and eventually moving on. Ditch the "I'm Fine" Default: If you are struggling, resist the urge to put on a brave face and spout toxic positivity (e.g., "I'm awesome!"). Practice authentic vulnerability with a trusted friend or colleague by admitting when things are tough. You don't have to be broken to ask for support; you just have to be human. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Paul McGee: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 172 Featuring Paul McGee

Are you trying to advance your career, but unsure who to ask for help? Have you ever wondered if you need a mentor, a coach, or a sponsor—and what the difference actually is? In this episode from the archive, Andy Lopata sits down with two giants of the mentoring world: Vanessa Vallely OBE (founder of WeAreTheCity) and Kerrie Dorman (founder of the Association of Business Mentors). Together, they dismantle the confusion surrounding these crucial professional relationships. Discover the "CCM" approach to support, learn the golden rule that separates a mentor from a sponsor, and find out the exact formula for asking a busy executive to mentor you (without getting a "no"). If you've ever felt stuck in your career, this episode provides the ultimate roadmap for building a "personal boardroom" that will propel you forward. What You Will Learn in This Episode: The "Been There, Done That" Rule: What is the fundamental difference between a coach (who asks questions) and a mentor (who shares scars and experience)? The Talk To vs. Talk About Rule: How to instantly distinguish between a mentor who gives you advice and a sponsor who puts their reputation on the line to get you promoted. The Myth of Age and Rank: Why you don't need to reach a specific level of seniority to deserve a mentor—and why you are actually never too old to have one. The Perfect "Ask": The specific, structured formula you must use when asking someone to be your mentor to guarantee they say "yes." The "Personal Boardroom": Why having just one mentor is a mistake, and how to build an "agile" formula of mentors, coaches, and accountability partners. Actionable Insights Structure Your "Ask": Stop asking people, "Will you be my mentor?" It's too vague and demanding. Instead, use Vanessa’s formula: State why you chose them (flattery helps!), define the specific skill you want to learn, set a clear timeline (e.g., three 30-minute sessions over three months), and define what success looks like. Make it easy for them to say yes. Turn Mentors into Sponsors: A mentor talks to you; a sponsor talks about you in rooms you aren't in. To turn a mentor into a sponsor, you must demonstrate your capability so they feel confident putting their integrity on the line for you. Audit Your "Personal Boardroom": Do not rely on one person for all your professional support. Map out your current network. Do you have an accountability partner who pushes you? Do you have an industry expert who shares their scars? Do you have a coach who asks hard questions? Build a diverse "formula" of mentors to cover your blind spots. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Vanessa Vallely OBE: Website |LinkedIn | Connect with Kerrie Dorman: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode Featuring Vanessa & Kerrie

When The Big Issue launched in 1991, it didn't just introduce a new publication; it fundamentally changed the face of homelessness. By offering a "hand up, not a hand out," it turned vulnerable individuals into micro-entrepreneurs and challenged the traditional charity model. In this inspiring episode from the archive, Andy Lopata speaks with Nigel Kershaw, Chairman of The Big Issue Group, about the incredible 30-year journey of this iconic social enterprise. Nigel shares the origin story—sparked by an encounter on the streets of New York—and the initial pushback they faced from both the homeless community and established charities. Discover how The Big Issue built a powerful, interdependent relationship with its vendors, the critical pivot they made overnight during the pandemic lockdown, and how a "mad idea" to start a social merchant bank led to managing £300 million in impact funds. This is a masterclass in leading with purpose, scaling impact, and proving that business solutions can solve social crises. What you will learn in this episode: The Origin Story: How a chance encounter with a "two-time loser from upstate New York" inspired the creation of one of the world's most successful social enterprises. The Business of Prevention: Why The Big Issue was strictly structured as a business, not a charity, and the initial resistance they faced from both charities and homeless individuals. The Interdependent Relationship: How the dynamic between The Big Issue and its vendors differs entirely from the traditional "giver and receiver" charity model. Actionable Insights: Build Interdependent Relationships: Move away from purely transactional or paternalistic relationships with your stakeholders. The Big Issue succeeds because the business needs the vendors to sell, and the vendors need the business for stock. Create structures where your success is directly tied to the success of your partners. Incubate Radical Ideas Separately: When you have a disruptive or highly innovative idea, don't force it onto a core team that is already busy managing day-to-day operations. Like The Big Issue did with their investment arm, incubate these ideas outside the main structure to allow them space to grow without facing immediate resistance or resource constraints. Use Crises to Force Digital Transformation: When the pandemic wiped out their street sales overnight, The Big Issue didn't just ask for donations; they accelerated a planned digital pivot, introducing cashless sales and digital wallets. Use major disruptions as a catalyst to push through necessary innovations that might otherwise take years to implement. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Nigel Kershaw OBE: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 173 Featuring Nigel Kershaw OBE

When the pandemic hit, the instruction was simple: "Go home." But returning to a hybrid model? That's a complex, messy experiment full of grey areas. In this episode from the archive, Andy Lopata chats to human potential expert Nikki Bush, dialing in from Johannesburg. They explore why the return to hybrid work is causing so much stress for both leaders and teams, and why standardising rules across an entire organisation often leads to disaster. Nikki shares practical strategies for navigating this new autonomy, emphasising the need for employees to act as "intrapreneurs." Discover why the number one hybrid trap is "meeting-itis," how to ensure your virtual one-on-ones aren't just tick-box exercises, and the profound difference a leader can make by truly seeing the essence of their team members beyond their job descriptions. If you're struggling to balance flexibility with productivity, this episode offers a roadmap for connection. What you will learn in this episode The Autonomy Shift: Why hybrid work requires employees to stop acting like traditional staff and start thinking like "intrapreneurs" who are solely responsible for their output. The Illusion of Choice: Why giving employees too much choice in a hybrid model actually increases stress, and how to find the right balance of structure. The "Meeting-itis" Trap: Why over-scheduling meetings is the biggest mistake hybrid leaders make, and how it actively prevents real work from getting done. Beyond the Job Description: How to uncover the hidden "essence" of your team members. The Power of Intentional Listening: Why the success of your one-on-ones depends entirely on your intent, and how to prove you are listening with your "whole being." Actionable Insights Decentralise Hybrid Mandates: Do not try to mandate a single hybrid schedule (e.g., "everyone is in on Tuesdays") for an entire organisation. Empower individual team leaders to create their own bespoke hybrid mandates based on the specific operational needs and cross-departmental requirements of their group. Visibly Protect "Sacred Time": When conducting a one-on-one (especially virtually), explicitly state that you are turning off your devices to be fully present. If you must leave your phone on for an emergency, set that expectation at the very beginning of the meeting. This verbal boundary demonstrates profound respect. Conduct an "Essence Audit": Look past your team's job titles. Identify their innate strengths—who is the nurturer? Who brings levity during a crisis? Actively share these observations with them. Reflecting these strengths back to your team not only builds confidence but allows you to deploy them more effectively when unforeseen challenges arise. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Nikki Bush: Website |Instagram | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 172 Featuring Nikki Bush

Have you ever let a bad commute ruin a crucial meeting? Or sent a hasty, frustrated reply to a message you misunderstood? In this highly relatable episode, Andy Lopata sits down with Vicky O'Farrell, known as the "Queen of Behaviours," to unpack how the minor inconveniences of our day can hijack our brains, alter our moods, and ultimately sabotage our professional relationships. Andy and Vicky dive deep into the psychology of our daily triggers—from the "limbic" fight-or-flight response of getting cut off in traffic, to the toxic nature of instant-reply culture on WhatsApp and social media. Vicky shares a powerful personal story of how her own traffic-induced bad mood infected an entire construction site, highlighting the contagious nature of our emotions. Together, they explore practical tools to reset your emotional temperature and how pausing to consider another person's perspective can save your most valuable connections. About Our Guest:Vicky O'Farrell is an expert in human behavior and communication, widely known as the "Queen of Behaviours." With 25 years of corporate experience, from charming Sales rep to Boardroom boss, Vicky founded Queen of Behaviours in 2013 after her own behaviour had a tiny impact on her corporate trajectory. Splitting her time between delivering high-level corporate workshops in London and helping run her husband’s construction business, Vicky has a unique, boots-on-the-ground understanding of how to adapt communication styles, read the room, and manage emotional energy across vastly different workplace cultures. What we discussed in this episode: The Traffic Jam Trigger: Why getting cut off in traffic immediately triggers our "chimp" limbic system, and how the stories we tell ourselves about why the other person did it dictate our mood for the rest of the day. The PAUSE Model: Vicky introduces the concept of PAUSE—starting with "P" for Perspective—and how assuming a positive intent (e.g., they are rushing to the hospital) can instantly lower your dangerous cortisol levels. Code-Switching and Authenticity: How to adapt your communication style and energy when moving between entirely different environments (like a corporate boardroom vs. a construction site) without losing your authentic self. The 0 to 10 Energy Scale: Why striving to be a "10 out of 10" every day is actually a mistake, and why finding your grounded "5" is often the best way to match your audience's emotional needs. The Doorway Reset: Practical tools—like curating a specific Spotify playlist, checking your "mirror," and Box Breathing (4 in, 4 hold, 4 out)—to reset your mood before you walk into a room. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Paul McGee’s Book: S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On)  Breathing Technique: Box Breathing (Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds). Download the full episode to learn how to master your mood and protect your professional relationships! SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Vicky O’Farrell: YouTube |LinkedIn |Facebook The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Box Breathing Relaxation Technique

Inflation, recession, global conflict, and post-pandemic exhaustion. Leaders today are operating under unprecedented levels of pressure, and many are finding that their own—and their team's—"fuses are getting shorter and shorter." In this archive episode of  Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata sits down with international speaker and serenity expert Martin Laschkolnig to discuss how leaders can maintain their composure when surrounded by crisis. Drawing on decades of business experience, Buddhist philosophy, and energy psychology, Martin explains why trying to "fix" a traumatised team member is the worst thing a leader can do, and why serenity is a muscle that must be trained before the crisis hits. If you want to stop reacting on autopilot and start leading with profound inner peace, this episode provides the practical tools you need to widen the space between event and reaction. 5 Key Takeaways: The Crisis Intervention Rule of 3: Discover the three essential steps leaders must take when a team member is in a crisis (and why "offering a solution" isn't one of them). The Limits of the "Fixer": Why jumping straight to "fix-it mode" can alienate your team, and why people need to feel "seen in their misery" before they can accept a solution. The Monkey Mind vs. The Sphere of Influence: How the "monkey mind's" desire to control everything causes burnout, and how to reclaim your power by focusing only on what you can actually influence. The "NATO" Mindset: How adopting the "Not Attached to the Outcome" philosophy can instantly reduce leadership stress in target-driven corporate environments. The Separation of Self and Problem: The profound psychological shift of realising "I have a problem, but I am not the problem," and why self-compassion is crucial for crisis management.  3 Actionable Insights Stop Giving Verbal Instructions in a Crisis: When an employee is overwhelmed or traumatised, always provide the next steps (e.g., "Go see HR") in writing or via a simple checklist to ensure they actually get the support they need. Defuse the Stress Hormones Daily: Do not wait for the weekend or a crisis to relax. Build a daily "micro-routine", whether it's five minutes of conscious breathing, digging in the garden, or taking a walk. Consistent, small steps build the foundation of resilience you will need when a storm hits. Widen the Space Between Event and Reaction: When you feel a strong emotion (like fear or anger) rising, do not react on autopilot. Step away. Take a few deep breaths. Create space to evaluate whether acting on that emotion will benefit you, or if it is better to let it pass. Your reaction determines the outcome; make sure it is a conscious choice. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Martin Laschkolnig: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 171 Featuring Martin Laschkolnig

Connecting With Authenticity With Roxanne Derhodge We hear the word "authenticity" constantly in leadership circles, but what does it actually mean beyond just "removing the mask"? In this thought-provoking episode from the archive, Andy Lopata explores a radically different definition of authenticity with psychotherapist and author Roxanne Derhodge. Roxanne reveals that true authenticity doesn’t start with how you interact with others; it starts with how well you know yourself when no one else is looking. She argues that the ability to handle conflict, disagree agreeably, and navigate "hot button" topics without losing your cool is actually the highest form of authentic leadership. Discover why being authentic isn't an excuse for oversharing, how to strike the crucial balance between professional decorum and human connection and why the most powerful leadership test is how you treat people when nobody is watching. What You Will Learn From This Episode  The Pillow Test: The ultimate test of authenticity isn't how you behave on a stage, but whether you are "good on the inside" when you lay your head on the pillow at night. The Hidden Source of Conflict: Why your visceral reaction to a difficult colleague often has more to do with your own unresolved internal triggers than with their actual behavior. The "Verbal Diarrhea" Trap: Why bringing your "whole self" to work does not mean oversharing, and how to maintain the vital filter of professional appropriateness. The Consistency Check: How to spot an inauthentic leader by watching for a disparity between their "networking persona" and their true social behavior. The Power of Small Disclosures: How sharing small, tactical "bits and bytes" of your personal life can destratify a team and make you a more approachable leader during times of crisis.  Actionable Insights Audit Your Inner Triggers: Before you can authentically connect with someone who holds an opposing view, you must understand your own reactions. The next time a conversation triggers a fight-or-flight response, calm yourself so you can listen to understand, not just to respond. Share the "Micro-Personal": You don't have to share every failure or crisis to be vulnerable. By sharing small, appropriate glimpses of your life outside of work—a story about a hobby or a weekend challenge with a child, reminds your team that you are human, making you more approachable when real business problems arise. The "Off-Record" Balance: To be an authentic leader, you must balance holding your team accountable with being a safe harbor. Ensure you hold their feet to the fire for performance metrics, but intentionally create a separate, off-the-record space where they can connect with you as a person when they need support. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Roxanne Derhodge : Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 170 Featuring Roxanne Derhodge