Reality Surf

Gen X feared being a sellout, millennials feared being inauthentic, and Gen Z is afraid of being cringe. In Cobra Lily’s first episode with video, Ella explores the phenomenon of “cringe” and its reverberations across culture: ironic detachment in humor and self-presentation, an embrace of campy absurdism in pop music, and safe minimalist aesthetics (clean girl, old money, Brandy Melville ballet-core) in women's fashion. Why are young people so afraid of being seen trying, and what are the consequences of not? How has growing up in a digital panopticon changed our relationships to self-presentation? How can we move past the prison of self-surveillance and into earnest participation in our interests? Most importantly, is Addison Rae leading a counter-revolution of starry-eyed sincerity? Follow Cobra Lily on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteExplore Ella's SubstackRead Ella’s essay, “To Be Cringe is to Be Free” which inspired the episodeIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine

Why are so many young men embracing misogynistic ideologies or dropping out of dating entirely? What are the origins of incel culture and the red pill movement, and how have online influencers reshaped modern masculinity? What does gooning reveal about the relationship between porn consumption, nihilism, and internet culture? Ella Simone explores the manosphere and unpacks the social forces driving its rise. Ella's written works on these topics: “What is Looksmaxxing a Response To?”; “Leaving Love to the Market”; “Incel Death Poem”Topics include:The 2026 Montreal shooting at a porn conglomerate's headquarters and its accompanying "incel manifesto," inspired by Marx and Engels’ The Communist ManifestoThe red pill, blue pill, and black pill: competing worldviews of masculinity and dating with real-world consequencesGooning, porn, dating apps, looksmaxxing, and the changing dynamics of sex and relationshipsThe parallels between incel ideology and the Calvinist concept of predestinationFollow Cobra Lily on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteExplore Ella's SubstackIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zineFollow Ella's friend Adin, who helped put this episode together

Does Truth Matter?How can we know what’s is true in a world of government-sanctioned misinformation and AI slop? How did humans come up with God, and did we kill Him? Is the fear of death at the center of all human activity? Ella and Maria expand their discussion about the nature of reality through a philosophical and psychological lens, with a focus on faith, certainty, and secularization. Topics include: The Trump administration’s darkly surreal propaganda strategyWhat did Nietzsche mean when he wrote that “God is dead?” What are the psychological benefits and drawbacks of religion?Terror management theory, New Atheism, and Sigmund Freud’s The Future of an IllusionFollow Cobra Lily on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteExplore Ella's SubstackRead Ella’s poem, “I Burn Better in the Dark”Intro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine

Is artificial intelligence bound to break the human mind? Is there an objective reality, or is it all just perception? Can you really manifest your greatest wishes, or is that just confirmation bias? Ella and Maria explore the impact of artificial intelligence on people’s grasp of objective reality and chart the dramatic increase in Internet content centered around manifestation since the COVID-19 pandemic. Topics include:Emily Hart, the AI-generated MAGA influencerThe troubling phenomenon of AI-induced psychosisSimulation theory and its predecessors in Ancient China and pre-Enlightenment FranceA deep dive into manifestation as a practice and an arm of pop spirituality: does the universe really care about your vision board?Follow Cobra Lily on Instagram and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteCheck out Ella's poem and collage about phones and reality, "Divine Machinery,” Explore Ella's SubstackIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine

Why do suburban white kids fantasize about the storied struggles of rap music? What happened when war lost its meaning? What is the path forward in today’s matrix of porn, sports betting, and misogynistic online content? Ella, Maria, and their Straight Male Correspondent Guy continue their discussion of bell hooks’ groundbreaking The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love with a focus on how patriarchy makes for good business. Topics include:How The Sopranos, Succession, and Animal Farm beg the question: why should men want to compromise their privilege?How low-status, exhausting work can make masculine authority feel more appealingThe relationship between boys and mothers in places of heightened male dominationThe nuances of commercialized female sexuality in a capitalist patriarchal frameworkFollow Cobra Lily on Instagram and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteRead Ella’s essay, “Leaving Love to the Market,” which inspired the episodeExplore Ella's SubstackIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine

Why are we obsessed with sex and violence? Why has feminism failed to land with so many men and women? How much is it testosterone and how much is it social conditioning? Maria, Ella, and their Straight Male Correspondent Guy crawl through the thickets of modern gender wars using visionary cultural icon bell hooks' The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love as a guide. Topics include:The relationship between testosterone, natural selection, and patriarchal conditioningWhat 2010's feminist messaging got wrongThe Byzantine psychodrama of Marine Corps Boot CampWhat does a good man look like to an avowed feminist?Follow Cobra Lily on Instagram and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteRead Ella's essay, "I Actually Want to Live in a Society," which inspired the episodeExplore Ella's SubstackIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine

When did Crocs and sweatpants become restaurant attire? Why do people seem louder and ruder than ever? Should we bring back shame? In the debut episode of Cobra Lily, Maria and Ella discuss the collapse of shared behavioral standards in public American life. They connect this to the history of individualism, from Enlightenment ideas and Cold War politics to the human potential movement, self-help culture, and the rise of neoliberalism. Topics include:How funeral etiquette, movie theater behavior, and restaurant manners reveal a bigger cultural shiftWhy authenticity can become an excuse for selfishness in public spacesThe dichotomies of individualism versus collectivism, and shame vs guilt culturesWhy capitalism, neoliberalism, and the burnout economy leave people with no energy for social gracesFollow Cobra Lily on Instagram and TikTokCheck out the Cobra Lily websiteRead Ella's essay, "I Actually Want to Live in a Society," which inspired the episodeExplore Ella's SubstackIntro song by Ivy Frey at Shirkerism zine