681: The Way to Handle Q&A, with Matt Abrahams

Ruth Gotian: The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Ruth Gotian is the Chief Learning Officer and Associate Professor of Education in Anaesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine. She has been hailed by Nature and The Wall Street Journal as an expert in mentorship and leader­ship development. Thinkers50 has ranked her the #1 emerging management thinker in the world and she's a top LinkedIn voice in mentoring. Ruth is the author of The Success Factor and now along with Andy Lopata, The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring*. We’ve all heard about the benefits of mentoring. In addition to receiving mentoring, great leaders give back by providing it to others. In this episode, Ruth and I discuss what the research shows that the best mentors do well. Key Points Effective mentors use a combination of skills in coaching, sponsorship, role-modeling, and mentoring to support the situation. Informal mentoring tends to be more effective than formal pairings. 61% of mentoring relationships develop organically. Open up your network to your mentee. It’s an essential way to support their growth — and yours. Park your ego at the door. Instead, allow your mentee to shine. With their permission, amplify their achievements. Take the role of “sophisticated barbarian.” Approach mentee situations with knowledge and experience, but with distance and objectivity of their other, daily interactions. Document the challenges, accomplishments, and next steps during mentoring. This helps your mentee recognize accomplishments and grow their confidence. Resources Mentioned The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring by Ruth Gotian and Andy Lopata Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Build a Network While Still Doing Everything Else, with Ruth Gotian (episode 591) The Art of Mentoring Well, with Robert Lefkowitz (episode 599) The Way to Get Noticed by Key Stakeholders, with Daphne E. Jones (episode 614) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

David Novak: How Leaders Learn David Novak is Co-Founder and the retired Chairman and CEO of Yum! Brands, the world’s largest restaurant company. During his tenure as CEO, Yum! Brands became a global powerhouse, growing from $4 billion in market cap to over $32 billion. After retiring in 2016, he became Founder and CEO of David Novak Leadership, dedicated to developing leaders at every stage of life. He is the author of How Leaders Learn: Master the Habits of the World's Most Successful People. One element of powerful leadership is bringing different people and ideas together to create something entirely new. In this conversation, David and I discuss how leaders can use pattern thinking to create new value. Plus, we explore why active learning is so critical for successful leadership. Key Points Pattern thinking is 1+1 = 3. Create something bigger than its parts by pairing things not related to make something new. Be curious about the world by being an active learner. Use books, travel, listening, and hobbies to come across insights you wouldn’t normally see. Active learners seek out patterns proactively in order to create something new. Questions to ask yourself: The last time you came up with an especially creative idea or solution, what was your inspiration? What pattern were you applying and where had you discovered it? How much time do you spend exploring outside your usual work and life experiences? Where are you getting exposure to different disciplines or industries? Think of a challenge you’re facing or a problem you’ve been struggling to solve? Have you looked for patterns or ideas from unusual sources yet? If not, where could you turn next? Resources Mentioned How Leaders Learn: Master the Habits of the World's Most Successful People by David Novak Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Solve the Toughest Problems, with Wendy Smith (episode 612) Better Ways to Lead Brainstorming, with Jeremy Utley (episode 630) Doing Better Than Zero Sum-Thinking, with Renée Mauborgne (episode 641) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide. Question from Qasim Qasim asked our thoughts on how to break the busy cycle and actually get started with something important. Aruj wondered how to handle a tricky situation where colleagues are gossiping lots in the office. Alice has three great opportunities in front of her was curious our advice on how to decide between them. Resources Mentioned How to Decide by Annie Duke Related Episodes How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, with Mark Sieverkropp (episode 177) How to Deal with Opponents and Adversaries, with Peter Block (episode 328) The Way to Make Better Decisions, with Annie Duke (episode 499) The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering (episode 678) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Matt Abrahams: Think Faster, Talk Smarter Matt Abrahams is an educator, author, podcast host, and coach. He is a lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business and a keynote speaker and communication consultant for Fortune 100 companies. He is the host of the popular podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart and the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot*. One of the most common places leaders get put on the spot is when facilitating a question and answer session. In this episode, Matt and I discuss the mindset, preparation, and steps that will help you answer questions with confidence and increase credibility with your audience. Key Points Many presenters think about a Q&A session like playing dodgeball. It’s more helpful to frame it as dialogue. Answering questions well allows you to project authenticity, expand on key points, and resolve objections. Use the ADD framework to respond to a question. A: answer the question, D: detail an example, and D: describe the value. If helpful, adjust the order. Set boundaries for the kinds of questions you’ll answer and the timeframe for them. The audience expects you to lead the conversation. Ask yourself a question if nobody else asks one first. This might start with, “A question I’m commonly asked…” End with an exclamation point. Sticking the landing provides you confidence and shows credibility to your audience. Resources Mentioned Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot* by Matt Abrahams Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450) How to Rehearse Before a Presentation, with Jacqueline Farrington (episode 645) That’s a Great Question (Dave’s Journal) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of eight books, including The Coaching Habit*, which has sold more than a million copies and is the best-selling book on coaching this century. He is the founder Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that’s trained thousands of people around the world to be more coach-like. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times. One of the most common desires leaders espouse is wanting to get better at helping others grow. One great way to do that is to become more coach-like. In this conversation, Michael and I explore how we can do better at building this skill. Key Points Care deeply for others while also being disconnected from their outcomes. Give people responsibility for their own freedom. Consider asking, “How much risk are you willing to take?” Allow the other party to define the boundaries. Bring a difficult observation as a third point. Separate the message from the person and let them decide what’s true. Avoid asking “why” questions of others to avoid putting people on the defensive and trying to solve their problems. A helpful checkpoint: is this question something that’s helping me or helping the other party? Silence is a measure of success. When you ask as question that lands, people need time to answer. Your body leads your brain. Notice your physical presence and how it manifests when you’re listening well. Resources Mentioned The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier Register your book receipt for bonus items from Michael Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237) Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440) How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613) How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard, with Scott Shigeoka (episode 654) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Jeff Wetzler: Ask Jeff Wetzler is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. His experience spans 25+ years in business and education, as a management consultant to top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America. He is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow. Jeff is the author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life*. Leaders are not the only people who need to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Yet, leaders set the tone for how much people are willing and able to talk about hard things. In this episode, Jeff and I discuss how leaders can make it easier for those important conversations to happen. Key Points In one study of managers, most people admitted to remaining silent with their bosses and nearly 75% said colleagues also felt uncomfortable speaking up. Meet people on their own turf. Others are more likely to speak up if they are in a setting that’s more comfortable for them. Leaders should consider shifting timing and/or medium to one that’s of the preference for the person who doesn’t have power. Explain why you’re asking about a topic and your intention for a conversation at the start. Providing context prevents people from having to guess at your agenda. Set a mutual agenda for a conversation by asking a question like, “In addition to this, what else should be part of our conversation today?” Establish a tone for open communication by radiating resilience. Words like these might help: “If I were in your shoes, I might be feeling frustrated or even resentful. If that’s how you’re feeling, I would understand completely. Please don’t hold back.” Resources Mentioned Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life* by Jeff Wetzler Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454) The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529) How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully. Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence. Key Points Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior. What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making. Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides an entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others. Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment. Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement. Resources Mentioned Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546) End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556) The Mindset Leaders Need to Address Burnout, with Christina Maslach (episode 608) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Sohee Jun Sohee Jun is a leadership coach for female executives, leaders, founders, and entrepreneurs. She is also a TEDx speaker, Forbes Coaches Council member, keynote speaker, leadership development expert, and author. With over twenty years in the corporate world, she has worked with Fortune 500 companies, including those in the entertainment, production, and media sectors such as Netflix, Fox, and Disney. In 2020, Sohee released her first book, Mommytracked: How to Take Authentic Risks and Find Success on Your Terms, with the goal of helping ambitious women tap into their inner core throughout the different phases of their lives. She's now the author of a second book, The Inner Game: Secrets of High-Achieving Women for Navigating Work, Life, and Mindset*. In a world where still too few women are represented in senior leadership roles, many of us want to do whatever we can to support high-achieving women. In this conversation, Sohee and I explore what her research and experience indicates that leaders can do to better support women in their careers. Key Points Leaders can support both women and men by framing the larger “why” or North Star. Providing context helps a point of focus to emerge. Do it afraid. Provide support to work through fearful situations with success. When supporting women in building confidence, help them recognize what they’ve already achieved. Normalize the discussion about financial literacy. Opening the door to dialogue around salary negotiation helps equalize the salary gap. One question can set the tone for better work and life integration. Leaders can proactively ask about boundaries. Resources Mentioned The Inner Game: Secrets of High-Achieving Women for Navigating Work, Life, and Mindset* by Sohee Jun Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Prioritize, with Christy Wright (episode 545) How to Protect Your Confidence, with Nate Zinsser (episode 573) The Path Towards Your Next Promotion, with Adam Bryant (episode 653) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Michael McQueen: Mindstuck Michael McQueen has spent the past two decades helping organizations and leaders win the battle for relevance. He specializes in helping clients navigate uncertainty and stay one step ahead of change. Michael is a bestselling author of nine books and a familiar face on the international conference circuit, having shared the stage with the likes of Bill Gates, Dr. John C. Maxwell, and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. Having formerly been named Australia’s Keynote Speaker of the Year, he has been inducted into the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame. He is the author of Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds*. There’s a lot of evidence that our minds would rather feel right than be right. How then, do you influence someone when they are really convinced of their position? In this conversation, Michael and I discuss the initial steps that help in changing people’s minds. Key Points Our tendency is to convince to the inquiring mind, but we’ll do better if we speak to the instinctive mind first. Help others lessen loss and maintain dignity by preserving titles, language, and symbols in things that are new. Instead of trying making an argument, ask a question that allows the other person to listen to themselves. Ask questions that clarify points of resistance or misunderstanding. Speak like you’re right, listen like you’re wrong. Resources Mentioned Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds* by Michael McQueen Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450) Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500) Three Practices for Thriving in Negotiations, with William Ury (episode 669) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Lauren Wesley Wilson: What Do You Need? Lauren Wesley Wilson is a leading thought leader on media relations, diversity and inclusion, and crisis communications. At 25, she became the founder and CEO of ColorComm Corporation. Prior to that, Lauren worked as a communications strategist at a prestigious crisis communications firm in Washington, D.C. Lauren has been featured in The Washington Post, Forbes, and People, as well as on MSNBC and CNBC, and more. She has been recognized by PR Week’s 50 Most Powerful in PR, Ad Age’s Women to Watch, and New York Women in Communications. She is the author of What Do You Need?: How Women of Color Can Take Ownership of Their Careers to Accelerate Their Path to Success*. Many of us wish to be good allies in the workplace, especially to those who are underrepresented. Yet, what we assume that means isn’t always what’s most wanted or needed. In this conversation, Lauren and I discuss what leaders and peers can do to be better allies. Key Points Instead of asking “How can I help?” consider, “What do you need?” That’s more likely to generate specific actions. Women of color feel like they are putting in tons of work into relationships with the majority culture, but it often feels unreciprocated. White folks think of allyship as speaking out against discrimination. Women of color say it’s way more critical to advocate for new opportunities. Tie allyship to economic goals: conference attendance, nominations for recognition, inclusion on high-profile committees, and position/promotion considerations. Make invitations to people of color to be at the table. This contributes more substantially than proclamations of support. When you make a mistake, apologize, own it, and move on. Don’t tell a story to explain yourself. Resources Mentioned What Do You Need?: How Women of Color Can Take Ownership of Their Careers to Accelerate Their Path to Success* by Lauren Wesley Wilson Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way Managers Can be Champions for Justice, with Minda Harts (episode 552) End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556) How to Respond Better When Challenged, with Dolly Chugh (episode 615) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.