Metamorphoses - Book Five: The Amusing Tale of the Musing Muses

The one where Achelous, a very-boring River god, develops an accent more suited to a bored Northern receptionist, a girl turns into a tree, we finally hear about Hercules, another girl turns into a tree, Ovid reminds us that incest never ends well and, to shake things up a little, a girl turns into a tree…

The one with all the A’s. Bonus points if you can pronounce all the names (apologies, it’s very clear that I can’t). Note to self: there is nothing less sexy than taking your dad’s hair as a gift on a blind date, and never try to out- do a bloated river god at storytelling.

Please don't try these spells at home, kids. Or steal any magical oak trees. Or invoke the wrath of Juno.  It never ends well.

Can you solve the following equations? (Don’t forget to show your working out!) 1. Arachne had 2 legs. Now she has 8. How did that happen? 2. Niobe had 14 children. Now she has none. Where did they go? Listen on to check your answers and learn so many more bizarre stories in Book Six of Ovid’s Metamorphoses!

Roll up, roll up! Join us, mortals and immortals and any nymphs in-between, for Book Five of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, including all your favourite family games: Pull the Gorgon out of the Hat, Pin the Tail on the Newt-Boy, and Pass the Persephone (except you don’t ever let her go. ever).

Once upon a time there were three little nymphomaniacs, and their names were Arsippe, Leuconoë and Alcithoë…. Also, you want the #honest story of Medusa? I got you, babe.

What with sailors turning into lizards, vines with no sense of personal space, and mildly cannibalistic mothers, episode Three of Ovid’s Metamorphoses provides us with a solid moral tale: don’t mess with wine, kids.

In episode two we encounter numerous delights such as: 1. why ‘take your demi-god child to immortal work day’ wasn’t encouraged, 2. that Juno has yet more reasons to be angry, and 3. that Mercury enjoys turning mortals into pebbles…

In this re-telling of the first book of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, we encounter Chaos and Zeus...the two are interchangeable, really....

It is 63BC. Cicero is consul of Rome. He has made it. He has achieved his lifelong ambition. It literally shouldn't get any better... And yet, a grave peril threatens to de-stabilise his consulship, indeed, threatens to destroy the entirety of Rome... in the form of Lucius Sergius Catiline. And, of course, there is only one man who can be called upon to save the Republic (...twice). I present, in two episodes, a commentary on the four Catilinarian Orations, which Cicero gave to the people and the Senate as the Catilinarian conspiracy against Rome unfolded around them, and then a dramatic, abridged version of the orations themselves.