Brief Announcement

Recorded on Caroline's birthday and the day after the midterms, listen to two people who only sorta wanna be there talking about a movie they definitely didn't want to watch. If the plot is confusing its cuz we were only sorta focused on it! Alex wanted to sleep! Caroline wanted to party!Listen or don't listen, we're not here to tell you what to do with your lives.Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, Amityville Poltergeist is available on the following streaming services: XumoFandangoPhiloTubi

SOMEONE GOT VAMPIRES IN MY AMITYVILLE. It doesn't make sense, and it doesn't matter! Nothing matters! Everything we do is meaningless! Watching these movies is meaningless! A guy talks about having to poop in this movie.As of this recording, Amityville Harvest is available on the following streaming platforms:TUBIThe CW

This one is kinda like Practical Magic. And like Harry Potter. Alex hated it, Caroline liked it. Among the least offensive of the Amityville movies, but also among the most boring. We also talk about a trip we took to the Amityville house.Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, Witches of Amityville Academy is available on the following streaming services:TUBIPluto TVXumoPlexYouTube

CONTENT WARNING THIS ONE IS NASTYWe have to bleach our eyes after watching this, and still it was far from the worst one we've seen. A gory porno with the unsexiest sex we've ever seen, Amityville Vibrator is about what happens when a director thinks they can be John Waters without any of the charm of John Waters.Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording you can watch Amityville Vibrator (don't though) on the following platforms (don't watch it):https://ok.ru/video/16616517405253 (don't click this link)

3 Amityville projects for the price of one! This episode has NakedSword original Scared Stiff II: The Amityville Whore, the comedic short Amityville Witch Activity, and the baffling but mercifully short Amityville Cabin.As of this recording, these movies are available on the following streaming services:Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, these movies are available on the following streaming services:Scared Stiff II - Falcon Studios (EXTREMELY NSFW)Safe For Work VersionAmityville Witch Activity - YouTubeAmityville Cabin - YouTube

(TW: discussion of sexual violence in this week's episode)Mark Polonia is back, and he's answering the question: What if Amityville but on an island. There are possessed sharks and bears, zombies, nanobots, and enough dangling plot threads to knit a sweater.Follow Rob and Brian and listen to Box office Gross! Brian on BlueskyRob on BlueskyBox Office Gross on BlueskyAlex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, Amityville Island is available on the following streaming services:XumoRokuTubi

Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls hammers his family to death and then his daughter joins a convent and hangs out with Stacy Dash from Clueless. Also some other stuff happens, probably. This movie is boring, but at least Autumn's hereLINKS:Autumn on instagramAutumn on TiktokAlex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, The (Amityville) Dawn is avaible on the following streaming platforms:TUBIFandango At Home

Ooooooh boy, look at us! Amityvilleville is hitting the big time with Patrick Brice, the director of the Creep movies, the series The Creep Tapes, The Overnight, Corporate Animals and many more! Don't let the critics fool you, this movie gets some terrible reviews, but it is something completely unique in the Amityville canon: A mumblecore romantic-comedy Amityville movie! Join real-life husband and wife duo Charlie and Buzi (pronounced "bougie") as they take their time doing just about everything, and just love the shit out of one another. Does any horror happen? Not really. Is there a 5 minute montage over a song about Buzi's butt? You better believe it. It's movies like this one that keep us coming back.Watch Patrick Brice's work! The Creep movies and There's Someone Inside Your House are on Netflix and the third season of The Creep Tapes just premiered on Shudder and AMC! Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, Amityville: Mt. Misery Road is available on the following streaming platforms:YouTubeXumoPlexTubi

Hey! We're taking a week off just because our lives got so busy we couldn't watch the world's worst music. But we are very excited to be back at you next week with Amityville: Mt. Misery Road. You can watch it HERE. But why would you want to.

Hey! You like remakes? Well tough, because today we're watching The Amityville Murders with Josh Boerman of The Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived podcasts, and it's basically just Amityville II with less incest. They even got two actors from Amityville II to show up for minor roles! Watch it. Or don't. That's kinda on you.Alex's Amityville Movies RankingCaroline's Amityville Movies RankingAs of this recording, The Amityville Murders is available for rent on YouTube.