Episode 13 - Grindhouse: Vampire Bride (Eclipse, Chapter 7)

Did we record this in 2022 and release it in 2024? Yes! Are we recording a new episode tomorrow? Also yes! Sid and Cyrus continue their journey through the Twilight Saga with two chapters of Eclipse. We discuss a deeply fraught lore drop, the idea of leaving one's kitchen covered in blood, and how Bella could have two daddies, but instead has three fathers. 

Multiple years, catastrophes, genders, and Twilight re-contextualizations later, Briana and Sid return to American Vampire! This episode is a little check-in, assessing where we're at and how we're thinking about this material now, and acknowledging simply how much time has passed since last we spoke about the Twilight Saga. We'll resume our usual chapter-by-chapter format (where we left off in reading Eclipse) in the next episode. Sorry for kind of weird audio quality on this one, the next episode (already recorded!) should be better. 

We are finally releasing an episode we recorded in *2019*, the part two of a long episode on Chapters 7-9 of Eclipse. (Content note: discussion of child abuse and SA as related to these chapters.) Briana and Sid drink rosé and discuss Edward being terrible, Bella being h*rné, and the absolute nightmare of Stephenie's concept of "imprinting" and the book's relationship to moral relativism. We'll be back with *newly recorded* episodes soon!

American Vampire presents Grindhouse: Vampire Bride, aka ROSALIE'S REVENGE. We legit spent so much time talking specifically about the conversation between Rosalie and Bella in Chapter 7 of Eclipse that I had to split the Chapters 7-9 episode into two parts. Content note: discussion of sexual assault. Topics include how our bitter queen Rosalie came to resent capitalism, the aging body in romance, and how this chapter feels like it's living in a Tarantino/Rodriguez cinematic universe instead of Twilight. 

We're finally back (sorry!!!) with chapters 4-6 of Eclipse, which can really only be described as a Dumpster™ fire.  Topics include justice for Emily, how kidnapping is never casual, this franchise's ever more troubling relationship to aging (now with 20% more racism), and Edward's tacky goth interior design taste. Also, what if this story had witches and ghosts? Or if we had started a podcast about Animorphs instead? (Content note: like most of our episodes, this includes discussions of abuse.)

Briana and Sid begin the third Twilight book, Eclipse, discussing the preface through the end of Chapter 3. Wuthering Heights haunts this text in a confusing way! Other topics include how Edward's behavior escalates to straight-up horror movie antagonist, Jacob inspires some Twilight/The Outsiders crossover fiction, and Stephenie showcases her passion for graphic design.   

A special holiday season piece of ghost-adjacent content! As Wuthering Heights is referenced repeatedly in Eclipse, Sid and Briana read and reread (respectively) the 1847 novel by Emily Brontë. Topics include how everyone in this book probably has tuberculosis, Heathcliff's ethnic ambiguity and... extracurricular activities, and how Kate Bush may have exaggerated just how much ghost content Wuthering Heights truly contains.  (Apologies for the poor sound quality, I used the wrong mic input like a chump!! And happy holidays y'all!!)

We are finally back! After some international and ontological adventures, Briana and Sid return to American Vampire to discuss the final chapters of New Moon (23 to Epilogue). Topics include Edward's constant gaslighting and presumably hilarious old-timey Chicago accent, Bella's concerns about aging and marriage, and the sham democracy of the Cullen family's vote on Bella's fate.   

After a brief hiatus, American Vampire has returned from its hellish slumber to cover Chapters 19 to 22 of New Moon. Topics include how you really don't get any whiter than Vampire Cops at the Vampire Vatican, some truly mind-boggling interior design and fashion choices, and how we feel personally gaslit by this series.  This episode was originally going to be New Moon Ch.19 - Epilogue, but we got a little bogged down in detail/yelling, so we'll cover 23 to the end next time.

In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the (gibbous?) third quarter of New Moon, from Chapter 13 through the end of Chapter 18. Topics include Bella's super casual and not at all morbid and disturbing passion for cliff-diving, the disappointing return of one of our favorite secondary characters, and how we just wish everyone would be nice to sweet baby Jacob and buy him some damn sandals.  Note that in addition to our usual references to PTSD and abuse, this episode features some frank discussion of suicide.