Beus Pond

How do you let go of people that created you? That became integrally a part of you? Currently, my only strategies are "write," "cry," and "keep building no matter how many times the Legos fall down" and I gotta be honest, I'm kind of sick & tired of the baggage...

Dear future me: did you start feeling guilty about putting yourself & your needs first? Listen to this time you had tasty dinner at home and felt proud instead.

Reaction to The Originals Season 5, Episode 6. Of course the three stooges of this cursed episode are men. My girl deserved SO MUCH BETTER TREATMENT 😭

It's like... If I only saw TERFs as my impression of the feminist movement, I would have hated it. Just as I hated the men's rights activism movement for the extremists I saw online in my early 20s. I learned a lot from this documentary, and it has expanded my views in healthy ways. I stopped identifying as a feminist online when I felt the movement was too cringey--something people would misjudge me on. I didn't want to be viewed as a radical or be placed alongside them, but I never stopped taking a feminist stance or supporting some important women's rights issues. I've always been an activist. Rather than renounce feminism, I'll adopt men's rights activism, too. I have already done that in many ways in the past 5-10 years, it's just something I can now say with confidence. The concept of dialectics revolutionized my world view. If you think they can't coexist, you're wrong. If they could work together, all the progress they (both sides) claim to be nearly impossible would be happening already.

it's a lonely feeling to look around at a virtually non-existent support system. EVERYTHING has changed over the past two years. it's hard to know which direction to choose to move forward. discussion about complex and abusive family dynamics. life has really taken my history of fighting against the odds and put me to the test. in some ways, I feel like a failure... pero, I chose to make these impossibly painful life experiences shape me into a better person and role model. maybe I'm less of a failure than I give myself credit for?

TW: discussion of rape (if there's any trigger warnings I'm missing, please tell me in the Q&A section and I will update it!) CW: recapping the events that led up to my mortifying psychotic episode last year, and all of the messiness that goes along with it. I recently mass deleted a ton of triggering videos and photos from this time period so I don't get bombarded with the memory notifications this year (coping ahead DBT style) and it forced me to face the experiences I have been repressing for nearly a year. I'm really looking forward to reprocessing in EMDR for the next 3 months, I'm hopeful it will give me relief and help me manage my PTSD symptoms more effectively.

My reflections on the difficult mental health situation I've been working through for almost a year. Getting stable again is hard, especially when you're homeless. The tides seem to be changing in my favor, so it's good that I document the positive things in my life right now.

Manic switch is officially off, welcome to the pits of depression hell 😅

Topics covered: The Dime Game - how ask for something strongly or say no strongly (5:43); willingness, wise mind, and distress tolerance (23:45), nutrition and dialectical stance (40:07), accumulating positives (50:35), emotional regulation, the function of emotions, and boundary setting (1:00:05) | Support my fundraiser for mental healthcare: https://www.gofundme.com/f/rae-survival-fund

Consolidating lessons from my third week in intensive mental health treatment | ➡️CW: GIVE (interpersonal / relationship effectiveness and communication) (8:18), vulnerability factors (PLEASE) (9:37), mindfulness and coping ahead (16:40), checking the facts (18:21), schemas (specific / individualized vulnerabilities) (19:05), dialectics (2 opposites can be true at the same time) (22:22), change (it's the only constant and it's transactional) (27:30), emotional disregulation (32:42), walking the middle path (thinking and acting dialectically) (33:45), HALT (related to vulnerabilities and emotional regulation) (39:02), opposite-to-emotion action (emotional regulation, anchoring stability in emotions) (41:13), HOW skills (non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, effectively) (45:15), sleep (how it effects health and wellness) (50:30), WHAT skills (observe, describe, participate) (54:24), radical acceptance (59:02), turning the mind (1:10:20) distress tolerance skills ACCEPTS (distraction) and IMPROVE (improve the moment) (1:14:00), coping ahead (emotional regulation) (1:23:30), beginner's mind (1:29:10) | TED talk referenced - One More Reason to Get a Good Nights Sleep: https://youtu.be/MJK-dMlATmM | Support my fundraiser for mental healthcare: https://www.gofundme.com/f/rae-survival-fund