543. Coaching Hotline: The Differences Between Boredom, Activity, and Productivity

Have you ever been so convinced that you're right in an argument that you can't even understand how the other person could possibly see things differently? I know I have. In this first episode of Thanks, Brain, my best friend and fellow Master Certified Coach Rachel Hart and I get into the messy reality of self-coaching, starting with a recent interaction I had with my husband where I was determined to make him understand why his response was wrong.Rachel and I talk about why we get so attached to our own interpretations, why we sometimes think we need other people to agree with us, and how our brains will keep finding new evidence to prove we're right. You'll hear what can happen when you practice self-coaching consistently, stop judging your thoughts, and give your brain a little room to surprise you. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/544Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow Kara on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Follow Rachel on Instagram: instagram.com/rachelhartcoaching/

Do you feel bored but also have no idea what you actually want to do? And then, on top of that, do you make yourself feel guilty for not knowing how to entertain yourself or keep your kids occupied?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about boredom, activity, and productivity, and why she feels so much shame around struggling with all three. I explain why the first step isn't figuring out how to be more productive or finding more interesting things to do. It's understanding why you've decided that being bored or not knowing what to do is something to feel bad about.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/543Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever gotten exactly what you wanted, only to find yourself struggling with the reality of having it? In this episode, I share what happened when I finally asked my own coach for an intervention after several years of major personal and professional changes left me feeling less like the version of myself I wanted to be. I got the tough love, bigger vision, and direct coaching I had been asking for, and then immediately found myself arguing with almost everything she said. Apparently, being a coach doesn't make you immune to needing one yourself. I take you inside the coaching I'm receiving right now, including the work I'm doing around my business, revenue goals, and the ways I've been unconsciously limiting what I believe is possible for me. We talk about why women so often under-believe in their own potential, how your brain can convince you that your current circumstances represent the limits of what you can create, and why having someone who sees a bigger version of you can be so powerful. You'll hear why being coachable means being willing to question your own resistance and how the right coaching can help you see possibilities you couldn't see on your own. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/542Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Find out what's coming next for the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast! Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Women are taught not to think too highly of themselves, not to stand out, and certainly not to suggest that they might be extraordinary. But what if that socialization is exactly what’s keeping you from creating the life you actually want? In this Classics episode, I share a personal breakthrough about how I had unconsciously been making myself smaller, even while teaching other women to do the opposite. I realized that my reluctance to talk about my own success was rooted in a deeply ingrained belief that owning what makes me extraordinary somehow meant thinking I was better than other people.I explain why being extraordinary has nothing to do with being more valuable or important than anyone else, and everything to do with learning to think for yourself, stop living your life around everyone else's expectations, and take responsibility for creating the life you want. You'll hear why sharing what's possible isn't about making yourself the center of attention, but about showing other women what they can create for themselves. Because your version of extraordinary doesn't have to look anything like mine.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/541Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

You can’t just think a new thought and expect your brain to believe it. If you’ve ever tried telling yourself you’re worthy, confident, or beautiful, only to have your brain immediately argue with you, you know what I’m talking about. In this Classics episode, I’m revisiting one of the most powerful tools I teach for changing your thoughts: the thought ladder. I’ll explain why thinking something and actually believing it are two very different things, and why trying to force yourself to believe a thought that feels completely out of reach can leave you feeling even worse.You’ll learn how to use the thought ladder to move from the thoughts you currently believe toward the thoughts you want to believe, one manageable step at a time. I’ll share practical techniques for finding ladder thoughts your brain can actually get on board with, including how to make a thought feel less personal and how to know when you’re ready for the next step. Thought work is not about transforming your brain overnight. It’s about practicing small changes that add up to a fundamentally different relationship with yourself.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/540Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Your maid of honor didn't come to your wedding, and you're still hurt about it. How do you move on when someone you care about misses an event that was supposed to be so important? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about lingering hurt and why we can get stuck replaying someone else's behavior long after the event itself has passed. I'll help you unpack the thoughts you're having about what her absence means, from what you think a maid of honor or a good friend should do to what you're making it mean about how much she cares about you. You'll learn how to separate the facts from your interpretations, question the assumptions you're making about her intentions, and find some room to let go of the hurt without pretending you weren't disappointed. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/539Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Women are taught that anger makes us difficult, irrational, or unlikeable, while men’s anger is often treated as justified or even heroic. So what happens when you learn to suppress your anger, even when something genuinely matters to you? In this episode, I share a coaching story about a client who was angry about the unequal division of household labor in her marriage and refused to accept the idea that her anger was the problem. We talk about how women are socialized to repress anger and why that can come at a real cost.I’ll explain why anger is a normal human emotion, but that does not mean every angry reaction is useful or aligned with your values. You’ll learn how to distinguish between feeling angry and acting out of anger, how to decide whether your anger is telling you something important, and why you can allow yourself to feel it without letting it control your behavior.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/538Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What does nervous system regulation actually mean, and how does it relate to your emotions? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about the difference between feeling an emotion, experiencing nervous system activation, and being “regulated.”I explain what people are actually referring to when they talk about nervous system regulation, why being regulated does not mean you never feel angry, sad, or ashamed, and how awareness of your body can support your thought work. You’ll learn why the goal is not to eliminate uncomfortable emotions, but to notice what is happening, give yourself the support you need, and choose how you want to respond. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/537Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever avoided dealing with a problem because facing it felt too overwhelming, uncomfortable, or scary? In this episode, I share a story from my own life that shows exactly how much worse problems can become when we avoid addressing them. We’ll look at why your brain is so drawn to avoidance, even when you know intellectually that avoiding something will not make it disappear.I explain what is happening when your brain tries to protect you from discomfort and why the short-term relief of avoidance often creates bigger problems later. You’ll learn how to identify the problems you may be avoiding, understand the emotions underneath that avoidance, and start approaching difficult situations with more courage and clarity.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/536Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoachingFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/