What No One Told You Would Change Your Relationship After Having a Baby with Rachel Shepard Ohta

This episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics. Key Discussion Points Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior? Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments of disconnection or conflict, attempt to restore the relationship by seeking engagement. However, their strategies—such as high-energy behaviors, demands, or criticisms—often come across as overwhelming to their partner. Pursuers act out of fear—fear of being abandoned, ignored, or dismissed. Kayla highlights that beneath the demands and criticisms is often a deep sense of insecurity and fear of losing the relationship. Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores how having a baby reshapes a couple’s relationship in ways few anticipate, from sleep deprivation and shifting roles to unexpected emotional triggers. Rachel shares her own experiences of disconnection, especially after her second child, and normalizes the challenges couples face when intimacy and teamwork take a hit. She emphasizes adjusting expectations, understanding temperament differences, and remembering that both partners and children are navigating new needs and patterns. Colter, Lauren, and Rachel talk about: - Shift in roles & teamwork  - Pressure & expectations  - Sleep deprivation  - Kids’ needs first - Temperament & triggers  - Connection & reassurance  Where to Find Rachel - Hey Sleepy Baby Instagram - Hey Sleepy Dad Instagram - Website Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fear of rejection is one of the biggest hurdles in dating, often holding people back from putting themselves out there or forming deeper connections. In this episode, we unpack where this fear comes from, how it ties into past experiences and self-worth, and why rejection is not as personal as it feels. We also share practical ways to shift your perspective, build resilience, and approach dating with more openness and confidence. They talk about topics such as:  - Roots of rejection fear (childhood, past relationships) - Rejection ≠ personal worth - How fear leads to avoidance or self-sabotage - Reframing rejection as redirection - Building confidence & resilience - and more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationships. They also highlight how childhood experiences, trauma, and personal wiring shape this fear, and offer hope that with curiosity, compassion, and therapy, people can learn to build deeper connections. They talk about topics such as:  - Vulnerability vs. dumping  - Signs of fear  - Roots of fear - Negotiation & sacrifice  - Dating dynamics - And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode dives into the often-overlooked complexities of friendship conflict and breakups, highlighting that friendships can be just as emotionally significant—and challenging—as romantic relationships. The hosts discuss common causes of tension, from mismatched expectations and life transitions to breaches of trust, unmet needs, and changes in values. They share strategies for addressing disconnection with curiosity and honesty, while also giving permission to let certain friendships fade when they no longer align. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about topics such as:  - Friendships as attachments - Common reasons for tension - Friendship pursuer/withdrawer dynamics - Healthy repair - And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson returns to explore how sensory processing patterns impact physical and sexual intimacy. The hosts use a creative "readiness for sex" scale to frame how sensory input—like lighting, texture, sound, and smell—can act as either accelerators or brakes for sexual connection. By understanding your own and your partner’s sensory profile, couples can communicate better, reduce misunderstandings, and intentionally create more satisfying intimate experiences. Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about: The Eight Senses & Sexual Intimacy Brakes vs. Accelerators Sensory Preferences are Individualized Practical Tools & Ideas Communication is Central And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson, a mental health occupational therapist, joins the hosts to explore how individual sensory profiles affect relationships. They break down the eight sensory systems—including lesser-known ones like interoception and proprioception—and explain how understanding these systems can create more compassion and effective communication between partners. By learning your own and your partner’s sensory patterns, you can reduce unnecessary conflict and better support each other, especially in moments of emotional dysregulation. Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about: The 8 Sensory Systems & Sensory Profiles The Four Sensory Processing Patterns Common Relationship Conflicts Tied to Sensory Needs Awareness Builds Compassion, Not Excuses Strategies and Support Tools And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you support loved ones during challenging times, such as mental health struggles, medical issues, grief, or addiction? Listen as our hosts explore recognizing signs of struggle, managing emotional reactions like fear or frustration, and offering effective support by combining curiosity, validation, and clear communication. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about these topics Common Struggles Emotional Responses in Helper Role Signs of Struggle Strategies for Support Navigating Boundaries Building Connection And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bringing up hard things in relationships is less about avoiding conflict and more about when and how you do it. In this episode, the hosts explore why timing, emotional state, and environment play a crucial role in whether a tough conversation connects or causes more disconnection.  In this episode, we talk about relationship topics like  - Timing Matters - Check emotional, mental, and environment readiness - The HALT acronym - Practicing “priming” - Don’t bring things up in the moment you’re upset Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Relationship Advice, guest sex therapist Bryttney Huseas joins the hosts to explore the nuanced and often misunderstood sexual differences between men and women. The conversation addresses cultural scripts, body image, power dynamics, and the distinct ways that men and women often experience desire and arousal. Learn tools for better communication, increased self-awareness, and a deeper sense of ownership and empowerment in sexual relationships. They talk about:  - Cultural Conditioning & Body Image - Power Dynamics - Initiation Norms - Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire - Importance of Sensuality & Energy - and MUCH more Where to get connected with Bryttney Huseas LMFT, Sex & Relationship Therapist [email protected] https://www.scottsdalesextherapy.com/meet-bryttney Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices