351: The Missing Piece to Trauma Healing

Chronic sickness can make you feel like you’ve lost yourself and that you’re letting everyone else down too. It impacts more than just your body; it reshapes your identity, your relationships, and your sense of hope. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with long-term illness, the pressure to push through, and the silent grief of not being who you used to be. They unpack how sickness affects connection, the loneliness of being in survival mode, and the power of regulating your nervous system to support healing. Whether you're the one who’s sick or you love someone who is, this conversation will help you feel seen and remind you that your worth isn’t tied to your capacity. There is hope, and it might look different than you expected. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Shame is one of the most powerful forces in relationships and one of the least recognized. It hides behind defensiveness, blame, denial, and emotional shutdowns. It keeps us from hearing each other, owning our impact, and creating real repair. But what if we could build shame resilience and become great at relationships? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the ways shame shaped their marriage—and what finally helped them break the cycle. They unpack why most people confuse shame with guilt, how shame can masquerade as moral failure, and why separating identity from behavior is essential for connection. From psychoeducation to spiritual perspective, they share what helped them heal. Whether you collapse when someone’s upset with you, or go on the offense to avoid feeling wrong, this conversation will help you clarify what’s happening and build the courage to show up with more ownership and compassion. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or vacation—we often attach so much meaning and pressure to these moments that they end up feeling more stressful than special. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about how their own celebrations have stirred up unexpected grief, unmet expectations, and even old trauma. They unpack why we tend to expect too much from big life events and share what it actually takes to enjoy them—mess and all. From rethinking holiday traditions to letting go of fantasy-filled expectations, this conversation is filled with real talk, laughs, and practical ways to feel more grounded in life’s most emotionally charged moments. If you’ve ever felt let down by an event that was “supposed to be” magical, this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Many of us can talk logically about our feelings and for years replay the same stories in an effort to make sense of the pain, yet never truly finding healing. But what if the secret to repair has been hiding in our bodies all along? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with somatic counseling and what it looked like to reconnect with their bodies after years of dissociation, trauma, and anxiety. They share how completing “unfinished” instinctual responses, learning to say no without guilt, and noticing small physical cues transformed the way they handle conflict, boundaries, and experience healing. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head, struggled to overcome pain, or been blindsided by triggers, this conversation is just what you’re looking for. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In a modern world with more access to therapy than ever before, the increase in emotional health seems to be accompanied by people who are more fragile and incapable than ever before. Which begs the question: Is therapy a scam? And if not, with so many modalities out there, what is the right path for you? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the moments therapy helped and the moments it missed the mark. They unpack why some counseling models fall short, what actually brings lasting healing, and how to find a therapist who’s a good fit for you. From emotional release to nervous system safety, reparative experiences to real empowerment, they break down the most important things to look for—and what to avoid. Whether you’re new to therapy or wondering if it’s time to find someone else, this conversation will help you trust your gut and advocate for what you need.   You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In this episode, Justin and Abi explore how emotional health, once rooted in compassion, can begin to mirror the rigid structures of religion. They unpack how judgment, superiority, and performative belonging often hijack tools meant for connection and healing. With honesty and humor, they reflect on how emotional health can lead us toward love and humility, yet sometimes becomes a weapon of shame and exclusion. Through personal stories and cultural insight, they invite listeners to ask: Am I using emotional tools to connect, or to separate? This conversation is a call back to compassion, nuance, and the kind of boundaries that don’t require someone else to be “bad” for us to feel safe. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most relationship conflict isn’t about the issue at hand—it’s about whose anxiety gets cared for. Whether it’s parenting, money, cleaning, or how often you see friends, couples often end up in a tug-of-war, each fighting for relief. But what if the goal wasn’t winning… but finding a third option where you both get what you need? In this episode, Justin and Abi dive deep into the art of healthy negotiation. They unpack why so many of us default to passivity, demands, or self-abandonment—and how childhood experiences shape the way we advocate for our wants and needs. Through real-life stories and playful banter, they offer practical ways to replace power struggles with curiosity, co-creation, and emotional win-wins. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood in your relationship, or unsure how to get your needs met without conflict—this episode will give you language, hope, and a way forward. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to reach for anything that helps us escape. For some, it’s alcohol or substances. For others, it’s overworking, scrolling, conflict, or control. The ways we cope are endless and often keep us from fully living. But what if instead of coping, life was more about what you choose to experience? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friend and owner of The Adventure Challenge Bryant Ellis. In this powerful conversation, Bryant candidly shares how his success nearly broke him. He also discusses how his own journey led him from disconnection and destructive coping to a life marked by presence, honesty, and emotional responsibility. Together, they unpack what it means to stop numbing and start engaging with life—especially the parts we’d rather avoid. This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop running and start returning to themselves. It'll help you recognize your patterns—and offer a hopeful path toward living with more intention, connection, and peace. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Some relationships help you grow—and some slowly pull you away from who you really are. So how do you know when it’s time to walk away? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the key signs that a relationship may not be right for you—from emotional distress and mismatched values to unhealed patterns and behaviors that erode your sense of self. They explore the difference between growth pains and relational red flags, offering honest stories from their own past breakups and the lessons they learned along the way. Whether you tend to stay too long, leave too early, or feel stuck in confusion, this conversation will help you build clarity, self-respect, and the courage to choose relationships that align with your values. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Choosing who to commit to isn’t just about attraction or chemistry—it’s about alignment in values, emotional health, and the ability to grow together. But what are the signs that it's time to lock it down? In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the essential markers of a thriving relationship—like emotional resilience, shared core values, the ability to repair after conflict, and a mutual commitment to growth. They share candid stories from their own relationship, offering a behind-the-scenes look at how they navigated misaligned expectations, shifting values, and the fears that come with commitment. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has what it takes to last—or if you’re already married and want to strengthen your foundation—this conversation offers grounded, practical insight to help you evaluate, grow, and build something that can actually go the distance. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!