348: How to Get What You Want

In a modern world with more access to therapy than ever before, the increase in emotional health seems to be accompanied by people who are more fragile and incapable than ever before. Which begs the question: Is therapy a scam? And if not, with so many modalities out there, what is the right path for you? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the moments therapy helped and the moments it missed the mark. They unpack why some counseling models fall short, what actually brings lasting healing, and how to find a therapist who’s a good fit for you. From emotional release to nervous system safety, reparative experiences to real empowerment, they break down the most important things to look for—and what to avoid. Whether you’re new to therapy or wondering if it’s time to find someone else, this conversation will help you trust your gut and advocate for what you need.   You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In this episode, Justin and Abi explore how emotional health, once rooted in compassion, can begin to mirror the rigid structures of religion. They unpack how judgment, superiority, and performative belonging often hijack tools meant for connection and healing. With honesty and humor, they reflect on how emotional health can lead us toward love and humility, yet sometimes becomes a weapon of shame and exclusion. Through personal stories and cultural insight, they invite listeners to ask: Am I using emotional tools to connect, or to separate? This conversation is a call back to compassion, nuance, and the kind of boundaries that don’t require someone else to be “bad” for us to feel safe. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most relationship conflict isn’t about the issue at hand—it’s about whose anxiety gets cared for. Whether it’s parenting, money, cleaning, or how often you see friends, couples often end up in a tug-of-war, each fighting for relief. But what if the goal wasn’t winning… but finding a third option where you both get what you need? In this episode, Justin and Abi dive deep into the art of healthy negotiation. They unpack why so many of us default to passivity, demands, or self-abandonment—and how childhood experiences shape the way we advocate for our wants and needs. Through real-life stories and playful banter, they offer practical ways to replace power struggles with curiosity, co-creation, and emotional win-wins. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood in your relationship, or unsure how to get your needs met without conflict—this episode will give you language, hope, and a way forward. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to reach for anything that helps us escape. For some, it’s alcohol or substances. For others, it’s overworking, scrolling, conflict, or control. The ways we cope are endless and often keep us from fully living. But what if instead of coping, life was more about what you choose to experience? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friend and owner of The Adventure Challenge Bryant Ellis. In this powerful conversation, Bryant candidly shares how his success nearly broke him. He also discusses how his own journey led him from disconnection and destructive coping to a life marked by presence, honesty, and emotional responsibility. Together, they unpack what it means to stop numbing and start engaging with life—especially the parts we’d rather avoid. This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop running and start returning to themselves. It'll help you recognize your patterns—and offer a hopeful path toward living with more intention, connection, and peace. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Some relationships help you grow—and some slowly pull you away from who you really are. So how do you know when it’s time to walk away? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the key signs that a relationship may not be right for you—from emotional distress and mismatched values to unhealed patterns and behaviors that erode your sense of self. They explore the difference between growth pains and relational red flags, offering honest stories from their own past breakups and the lessons they learned along the way. Whether you tend to stay too long, leave too early, or feel stuck in confusion, this conversation will help you build clarity, self-respect, and the courage to choose relationships that align with your values. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Choosing who to commit to isn’t just about attraction or chemistry—it’s about alignment in values, emotional health, and the ability to grow together. But what are the signs that it's time to lock it down? In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the essential markers of a thriving relationship—like emotional resilience, shared core values, the ability to repair after conflict, and a mutual commitment to growth. They share candid stories from their own relationship, offering a behind-the-scenes look at how they navigated misaligned expectations, shifting values, and the fears that come with commitment. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has what it takes to last—or if you’re already married and want to strengthen your foundation—this conversation offers grounded, practical insight to help you evaluate, grow, and build something that can actually go the distance. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us think we’re being observant when we’re really just making snap judgments. Our brains are designed to make quick assumptions—to keep us safe—but in relationships, those assumptions can quietly erode connection. But what if there was a way to promote safety and strengthen the relationship? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the power of curiosity as an antidote to relational drama, disconnection, and unspoken resentment. They explore how misunderstandings show up in marriages, friendships, workplaces—even parenting—and how easy it is to misread someone’s actions without ever checking in. Lastly they share how to implement curiosity in ways that are practical and easily doable no matter where you’re at in the process. With humor, honesty, and actionable wisdom, this episode will help you slow down, ask better questions, and create more safety and clarity in your connections. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Falling for someone is easy. But building something that actually lasts? That takes a whole different skill set. In part two of this series, Justin and Abi are joined by Bryant Ellis, the owner and CEO of The Adventure Challenge to take a plunge into what really matters after the first few dates. They explore the difference between red flags and nervous system triggers, how to recognize someone’s true character over time, and why curiosity is more important than snap judgment. They also unpack why so many people lose attraction in long-term relationships, the key mindset shifts that help relationships stay connected and alive, and how to navigate major differences in beliefs and values. If you’ve ever wondered how to spark love and keep the flame burning bright, this episode is just right for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Many of us didn’t grow up learning how to date in a world of endless options and quick rejections, and those of us who have don't know a life without it. So it’s no wonder so many people feel disoriented, burned out, or discouraged by the dating scene. In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by Bryant Ellis, owner and CEO of The Adventure Challenge, for a candid conversation about how online dating is changing our brains—and what it takes to stay grounded and authentic in the process. Together, they explore the hidden impact of dating app culture, how to stay human in the middle of it, and what to do with the fear of rejection that stops so many people from putting themselves out there. They also talk about how to approach dating with purpose instead of passivity, how to create a plan for emotional resilience, and how to build genuine connection in a culture of swiping. If you’ve ever wondered how to date with clarity and confidence (without losing your soul in the process), this episode is for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We all hit seasons where life feels too big to carry—and often, our relationships take the hit. Stress doesn’t just affect our schedules; it hijacks our emotions, shrinks our capacity, and makes the people we love feel like the problem instead of the support. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about what stress has looked like in their relationship—from the chaos of remodeling their house to raising a new puppy. They share how stress brought out their worst patterns, triggered old wounds, and tested their ability to stay connected. Through real-life stories, they explore the impact of nervous system overwhelm and the small (but powerful) tools that helped them repair—again and again. If you’ve ever found yourself more reactive, more distant, or more overwhelmed than you want to be—or if you’re walking through a hard season and trying to stay connected—this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with language for what’s happening, practical steps for navigating stress together, and a reminder that hard seasons don’t have to break you—they can make you stronger. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!