S02 E05 Forged in the Fire

Today’s Radical Intimacy episode is all about forging through the fire of pain and suffering to emerge stronger than steel and with enhanced emotional intelligence. To lay the foundation of our discussion, Zoë opens up about her recent oral surgery and how that experience forced her to remember even darker days as a student with lymphoma. She begins by describing her recent health challenges and how her bout with cancer when she was in university still affects her today, before explaining her protocol for processing heavy emotions. She unpacks meditation, the mind-body connection, how to overcome trauma cycles, and how physical healing correlates to its emotional counterpart. Then, it’s Andrew’s turn as he details his Stoicism and Zen-informed emotional healing process. We also examine the dangers of resisting pain, the joys of embracing it, and why pain is ultimately the best teacher. To end, we learn why samurai sword-making is akin to emotional healing, and Zoë and Andrew share advice for how to navigate trauma as a couple.            Key Points From This Episode:•    Zoë opens up about her recent health challenges. •    The ins and outs of her oral surgery and the healing complications thereafter. •    How the treatment of her lymphoma when she was 20 influences how she heals today. •    The way Zoë processes overwhelming emotions, especially during her journey with cancer. •    Meditation, the mind-body connection, and overcoming cycles of pain. •    Comparing how her gums healed post-surgery to how we emotionally recover from trauma.   •    Stoicism and Zen: Unpacking Andrew’s emotional healing process. •    The dangers of being in denial and resisting versus the joys of embracing your pain. •    What we can learn from Richard Schwartz’s book, No Bad Parts.•    Why healing hurts and why pain is the best teacher. •    What the process of making a samurai sword teaches us about forging through pain.  •    How to process emotions as a couple.  Quotes: “When it comes to emotional processing, I find that I’ve had to really train you, [Andrew], and teach you, and tell you instant by instant what I need.” — Zoë Kors [0:10:48]“I think that I’ve battled my entire adult life. From the time of 20 years old, it’s just [been] powering through.” — Zoë Kors [0:11:39] “I have felt for a while now, maybe five or six or seven years, that I have some unfinished emotional work or trauma work around having had cancer and gone through that treatment and that experience.” — Zoë Kors [0:11:54]“Stoicism, especially with the ancient philosophers, it was about not being controlled by your emotions. Not resisting them, but observing them [and] feeling them, [and knowing] my emotions don’t run my life. I run my life” — Andrew Rothmund [0:18:28]“There’ve been a few times where if my emotions had hair, they would have been on fire. My emotions would’ve been through the streets screaming and wailing until I got a handle on [them].” — Andrew Rothmund [0:19:07]“My thoughts don’t identify me. My feelings don’t identify me. I am the observer of both.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:19:46]“To end suffering, you have to acknowledge it exists and you have to accept it.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:29:43]“Pain is the best teacher. I mean, the most effective teacher – a lot of growth comes from pain.” — Zoë Kors [0:32:46] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Sir Rucifer

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Everyone, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.” Today on Radical Intimacy, Zoë and Andrew sit down to discuss the concept of ‘a banquet of consequences’ and how it applies to romantic relationships. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why Andrew thinks life is like a kitchen, why you need to “cook” with consciousness, how your romantic relationships will be affected karmically by your choices, and what it looks like to be mindful, present, and intentional. We delve into the danger of defending yourself so fiercely with your partners before discussing the importance of checking on your relationship every day instead of having a ‘set it and forget it’ mindset. Listeners are even reminded that ‘all of you is welcome,’ good and bad! Finally, our hosts stress the importance of helping each other reframe the idea of failure. To hear all this and so much more, be sure to tune in now! And if you want to hear something specific on the show, be sure to email Zoë your suggestions and requests.  Key Points From This Episode:•    Why life is a kitchen and the importance of “cooking” with consciousness.•    How these karmic concepts apply to romantic relationships. •    The importance of being intentional, present, and mindful, and how to do that. •    Why we defend ourselves, and the danger of doing so in relationships. •    The power of removing your ego and focusing on intention vs. impact. •    Why you constantly need to check in with your relationship. •    A reminder that ‘all of you is welcome!’•    Why you need to help your partner reframe the idea of failure.  Quotes:“Our day-to-day habits and how we interact with our partner become our recipe [and] our patterns become menus.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:07:55]“Our relationships – are a tasting menu for the growth of our soul or the lack of growth.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:08:25]“Sometimes, [you should] stop trying to ‘do the work’ and just celebrate. Just say, “I love you!” — Zoë Kors [0:36:32]“All of you is welcome!” — Zoë Kors [0:37:42]Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Robert Louis StevensonAndrew Rothmund on InstagramZoë KorsZoë Kors Email AddressZoë’s WebsiteZoë’s BookZoë’s ProgramZoë’s CoachingZoë’s Retreat

The road to partnership isn’t always linear, especially when one of you is fiercely independent and the other is ready to settle down. In this candid season opener, Radical Intimacy returns from a three-year hiatus with a deeply honest and often hilarious conversation between Zoë Kors and her husband Andrew, who joins as co-host for the first time. You’ll hear how they met, what made their three-hour first date over tea and firelight so memorable, and why Zoë almost ended things just as they were getting good. Along the way, they reflect on what it takes to move past fear, redefine independence, and build a partnership rooted in mutual respect, curiosity, and emotional growth. Join us as we relaunch the show and set the tone for a new season of radically real conversations! Key Points From This Episode:•    Introducing Zoë’s husband, Andrew, co-host for season two.•    The unlikely story of how they met online and started dating.•    Zoë and Andrew’s first date and the factors that made it so special.•    The importance of mutual curiosity and conversation in early dating.•    How past dating patterns and power dynamics had shaped Zoë’s expectations.•    The different places Zoë and Andrew were in when they started dating.•    How a birthday almost became a breakup (and the moment that shifted everything).•    Navigating fear of commitment, independence, and self-protection.•    The moment Zoë finally chose to stay and what made Andrew almost walk away.•    How spiritual and emotional readiness created a strong foundation for their relationship.•    Redefining partnership as a conscious choice, not a loss of freedom. Quotes:“I [had] spent 12 years [being] intentionally single. I would date, but I wasn't dating to find a life partner. I had really just enjoyed people's company, and the whole thing was like a big laboratory.” — Zoë Kors [0:12:17]“The conversation was so good, I felt like I should have had a cigarette afterwards.” — Andrew [0:13:56]“I wasn't looking to fill a hole. I did that with my Zen training and my decades and decades of spiritual journey.” — Andrew [0:30:49]“I'm always scared of losing freedom.” — Zoë Kors [0:31:30] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Zoë’s WebsiteZoë’s BookZoë’s ProgramZoë’s CoachingZoë’s Retreat

I am Zoë Kors. Welcome to my podcast. I launch this podcast on the eve of the publication of my debut book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve. In a way, this podcast serves as an extension of the book. It’s an opportunity to explore the idea of intimacy, what it means to feel a sense of deep connection, how we create that in our lives and how we sustain it. We tend to think of intimacy as something that happens between two people, either physically or emotionally. While that’s certainly a part of it, there’s more. The importance of intimacy doesn’t exist solely in the context of relationship. We are available to connect with each other only to the extent that we can connect to ourselves. This goes for lovers, friends, relatives, colleagues, and even the barista at the local coffeehouse. In order to share the most tender parts of ourselves, we have to know what it is we are sharing. And to fully see someone else, we have to be able to recognize our own experience in theirs. For all the times you ever wondered if this is all there is, if you’ve longed for something you can’t quite name or grab hold of, it’s ultimately intimacy with yourself that you are craving. My vision for The Radical Intimacy Podcast is to share with you conversations with a variety of people from diverse backgrounds for the purpose of getting more intimate with ourselves and others. This is a safe space in which to be real and raw, to express the fullness of who we are in all its complexity and contradiction. My hope is that through listening to these episodes, you will feel like it’s okay to be you, exactly as you are, and to know that you are not alone. Also that through this deepening sense of self, you are able to bear witness to the experiences and truths of others, even when—or especially when—they are different from your own. Let these conversations enrich your understanding of where you stop and someone else begins, the hard lines of individuality, and the shared experience of our humanity. 

Coming into closer alignment with the soul, and fully embodying ourselves are a couple of the highest pursuits in this life. This is according to today's special guest, Jerome Braggs. Jerome is an intuitive healer who brings kindness, awareness, love, and honesty to his work with clients, and into his everyday life too! Having Jerome on the podcast is truly an honor and listeners can expect to come away from this episode refreshed and inspired to delve deeper into their purpose and find more meaningful joy and pleasure in the world around them. In our conversation, Jerome unpacks how to understand the human soul, and how true pleasure anchors the soul in the body. We also get into how to shut out the external noise that can distract us from our inner truth and soul's message. Other topics covered include how to understand illness, why retreat and silence are so important, the power of sex, and how to better connect with what is truly pleasurable. Jerome is such a gifted speaker and has so many amazing juicy bits of wisdom to share with all of our listeners, so make sure not to miss this episode! Key Points from This Episode: •    Jerome explains what he means by the words 'soul' and 'source'. •    Ways to get more in tune with the soul; Jerome talks about the importance of unpacking and releasing. •    The specifics about retreating and what it means to take a step back from culture.•    The metaphor of the caterpillar, the cocoon, and the butterfly, and the lessons to take from it. •    How illness and brushes with death can wake us up, and how to respond to the call.   •    Mistakes in bed; a few pointers from Jerome on a better understanding of sex.  •    How pleasure relates to the soul and body; a mechanism for anchoring ourselves.•    Recontextualizing the message of illness and why it's something we should listen to. •    Prioritizing what is important to us; Jerome's experiences during his near-death experience. •    Understanding the presence of God during sexual intercourse. •    Why pleasure should never be a source of shame and how to separate the two. •    Self-care and desire; Jerome explains why clouded judgment leads to confusion. •    Embodying the self and why this is so attractive to others. •    Where to find Jerome online and how to make use of his amazing offers!  Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Jerome BraggsSelf-Love AcademyJerome Braggs on FacebookJerome Braggs on InstagramJerome Braggs on TwitterJill PrescottRam DassInside the Actor StudioBernard Pivot Zoë Kors’ Links:Zoë’s WebsiteZoë’s Book: Radical IntimacyThe Radical Intimacy PodcastCoral: Sexual Wellness App

Today's episode touches on a cultural phenomenon that often takes place at dinner parties and on social media: the celebrity hall pass. And while there's a non-threatening safety built into this because of the unlikelihood of the opportunity to act on the desire, it still plays the role of a culturally sanctioned admission of a desire to be sexual with someone outside of your committed monogamous relationship. With the resurgence of conversations around open marriages in the zeitgeist, there are many of us out there with questions on how to navigate this territory in a way that is mindful and honors everyone involved. Our guest is one of my most-admired friends and relationship role-models, Sarah Marshank, who is the founder of Selfistry, author of Being Selfish, and a prolific sharer of practical spirituality and conscious awakening in spaces from packed auditoriums to white-sand beaches, to boardrooms. This enriching conversation kicks off with defining what it is to be ‘monogamish’ and unpacking the two very different concepts of being intimate and being sexual, before exploring the importance of keeping your heart and mind focussed on the lifelong journey into self-actualization. Sarah outlines the integration of three realms that will anchor this journey to open pathways of expansive intimacy and honesty, before diving into how this work sets you up for being able to show up fully and authentically with others. Hear how knowing yourself involves giving all your desires and feelings permission to exist, and the importance of finding a community that supports this work. We finally look at what is involved in a conversation where you are bringing having ethical non-monogamous sex to the table. This conversation is rich beyond measure and speaks directly to the soul of every being who lives in relation to others. We dearly hope you can join us. Key Points From This Episode: ●      An introduction to today's topic: the Celebrity Hall Pass.●      Our guest Sarah Marshank kicks us off with the definition of ‘monogamish’.●      Unpacking the two different things of being intimate and being sexual.●      Establishing the intimacy part so that you can show up honestly with your feelings and desires. ●      How dealing with feelings of ‘not-enoughness’ and jealousy is very individually specific.●      Sarah shares how she and Steven embody radical intimacy and good communication. ●      How the foundational importance of knowing yourself is not a static thing.●      About ‘Selfistry’ and organically unpacking its two realms: spirit and psyche.●      Excavating and replacing the belief systems that we've inherited that aren't really ours.●      The reality that we're all living a spiritual life, whether consciously or unconsciously. ●      Hear the Copernicus story about reorienting your human experience of ‘self’ and ‘no-self’.●      Approaching the disorientating integration of ‘no-self’ with grace and support. ●      Talking about ‘witness consciousness’ and the nuanced guidance of Ram Dass.●      Hear the incredible story of Ram Dass's personal support of Sarah's work and book.●      How we can invite in a foundation intimacy that honors everybody.●      Finding your community to walk the road of self-exploration alongside each other. ●      Navigating what to do when you want to have sex with someone else. ●      Giving unconditional permission for all your wants, desires, an

Author and activist, Heather Kristin has been interviewed by Oprah and has worked many jobs over the years, including Park Avenue nanny, subway busker, and cocktail waitress, but one that stands out is her role as stand-in for Kristin Davis’ character on the set of Sex and the City (SATC). In February 2021, Heather exposed the toxic atmosphere on set by penning a detailed essay for the Independent. In the candid memoir that quickly went viral, she recalled an incident of an ‘alpha male actor’ demanding that another stand-in be “tied up, gagged, and brought to his trailer.” These horrific words have now been confirmed by Heather to be those of Chris Noth, who played Mr. Big on the show. In today’s episode, Heather shares her story with us and recalls some of the experiences (both negative and positive) that she had on set at SATC. We discuss the nuance of experience that leads survivors to remain in traumatic spaces or choose not to speak up, why it is that we keep hearing stories like these, and Heather shares how she seeks to empower young women and girls through her work with Girls Write Now. This is a conversation about the power of sharing our stories and learning from the stories of others, so make sure to tune in today to hear from storyteller and truth seeker, Heather Kristin!Key Points From This Episode:Heather recalls some of the positive experiences she had working with the SATC cast.Learn what a stand-in does and why they play an integral role on set.The incredible opportunity Heather had to be in front of the camera with her violin.Heather shares her candid account of the ‘dark’ moments she experienced on set.The nuance of Heather’s experience that led her to return to SATC after quitting.How her now-viral article detailing Noth’s behavior was originally received by editors.Why she decided to name Noth after the sexual harassment allegations that came out.Heather’s reaction to the statement that the women of SATC made following the allegations against Noth that surfaced.Why she believes that we keep hearing these stories; the power dynamics at play.How we can appropriately respond to allegations like these: acknowledge, investigate, stop the retaliation against survivors.Heather’s work with Girls Write Now and how she seeks to empower young women.The power of sharing our stories and learning from the stories of others.Heather’s favorite and least favorite words (yes and no), her love for DuMont Burger in Brooklyn, the sound of the violin, and more!Parting words of wisdom: choose kindness rather than words that tear people down.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Heather Kristin on TwitterHeather Kristin on Instagram‘I was Charlotte’s stand-in on Sex and the City. Some of the behavior I saw still shocks me’'Chris Noth’s behavior on set for ‘Sex and the City’ was disgusting. I know — I was there’Girls Write NowBelievingZoë KorsRadical IntimacyCoral