Overinvested: The Emotional Economy of Modern Parenting: Interview with Nina Bandelj, PhD

Elizabeth Preston talks with me about her new book The Creatures' Guide to Caring: How Animal Parents Teach Us That Humans Were Born to Care. Her book and discussion with me is fascinating discussion about the evolution of caregiving and parenting on Earth. She demonstrates how animals have so much to teach us about cargiving and the conditions that promote it. Her discussion helps us reconnect with our biology and our relationship to the natural world. This is important because we know that when we ignore our biology, mental health problems frequently follow.    For more information: https://elizabethgpreston.com/

Nina Bandelj is Chancellor's Professor in the Department of Sociology at the University of California, Irvine, and past president of the Society for the Advancement of Socio-Economics. Today we talked about her new book Overinvested: The Emotional Economy of Modern Parenting Dr Bandelj looks at the problem of parental burnout and "intensive parenting" from the perspective of an economic sociologist. She illustrates how we can learn a lot about the social and cultural forces effecting American parents by "following the money". She puts into a broader perspective many of the concerns about "intensive parenting" that  Meredith Elkins, PhD discussed in an earlier podcast this year. Dr Bandelj sociological perspective will helps parents appreciate some of the cultural and social forces that are effecting their everyday parenting  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overinvested    

Melisa Moore, PhD is a clinical psychologist who specializes in sleep and mood issues with a special emphasis in neurodiversity. Her book is The Good Sleep Guide for Neurodivergent Kids. In this interview Dr Moore first talks about the essential of good sleep and then the special considerations when it comes to neurodivergent kids. Sleep disorders and sensory processing issues are very common in this population and Dr Moore clarifies their relationship. Given how common these problems are, it is a relief to have Dr Moore book available to parents and clinicians alike.  For more information about Dr Moore https://www.drmelisamoore.com/  

In helping our anxious children, it is important to understand the context in which they are growing up in and how that might contribute to their struggles. Stephanie Malia is an author, educator and social worker who has provided us with a guide to navigate the complexity of parenting in our current age. She  has just published her third book, How We Thrive: Caring for Kids and Ourselves in a Changing World. In this book, she explores the urgent need to protect human essentials, like sleep, play and connection-that modern life restricts or denies. She points out the modern era has been characterized by an accelerated rate of change in many domains that we are not equipped to metabolize. She identifies the dangerous "weather conditions" of modern life and after interviewing over a 100 experts for her book, how we can intentionally "Rehumanize" or get back to the essentials that help us thrive. She is talking about the foundation we need to strive for to help all children and especially our anxious ones.  Her previous books are Whole Child, Whole Life and Making It : What Today's Kids Need for Tomorrow's World For more information www.rehumaning.com

GI problems are so common in children and adolescents who struggle with anxiety. Dr Navidi talks about disorders of gut-brain axis such as irritable bowel syndrome and how a combination of CBT and hypnosis can lead to dramatic improvement. He talks about the brain can misinterpret signals from the body and how that can lead to the experience of chronic pain. Fortunately, there are therapeutic interventions which Dr Navidi describes in this interview,  that can make a dramatic difference with GI problems Dr Navidi has established a practice  GI Psychology which provides telehealth services in all 50 states.  For more information https://www.gipsychology.com/

  Bedtime is a time for stories and it also a favorite time for anxious thoughts to make an appearance.  Randolph B. Schiffer, MD has just written Bedtime Stories That Will Terrify Children: Eight Tales to Help Parents and Children Navigate Through Fear .  The stories won't actually terrify your child, but they give voice to how scary childhood can be. "Children don't need us to make the world feel safe. They need to know that they are not alone when it isn't" Randolph B. Schiffer He created these stories to help his son who was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia deal with the  very painful and arduous treatment process.  These are stories to model courage and persistence.  For more information https://randolphbschiffer.com/

It has been estimated that 1 in 5 children and adolescents suffer from chronic pain and it can seriously interfere with their life.  Pain Reprocessing Therapy is an evidence based approach that has been proven effective for chronic pain. Daniella Deutsch, LCSW, Penina Zilberberg, PhD and Paulina Soble, LCSW have just published The Pain Reprocessing Therapy Workbook for Teens: Rewire Your Brain To Find Relief From Chronic Pain. In this interview I talk with Penina Zilberberg, PhD and Paulina Soble, LCSW about pain reprocessing and how to help teens turn the volume down on the pain through a carefully structured sequence of guided exercises. Teen learn to be pain detectives and ultimately to develop a different relationship to the pain and respond differently to it. I found their book very helpful and I rather liked their use of optical illusions to explain how the brain can get things wrong and the power of belief illustrated by a London construction worker. For more information about pain reprocessing, their website contains a lot of useful material. https://www.painreprocessingtherapy.com/

Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD has written two books: Hunt, Gather, Parent What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans 2021and Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods  2026. In my experience, people outside of the mental health field often write the best books. Dr Doucleff, whose degree is in chemistry,  has provides a very clear explanation about how the neurotransmitter, Dopamine, is relevant to understanding why your child has trouble getting off of screens and why they might be such picky eaters. Her research into these topics is impressive, but more importantly is her capacity to explain the science in ways that anyone can understand. That is part of her gift. Drawing upon the latest work on habit formation, she also provides a template of how we can begin to free ourselves from screens and ultraprocessed foods. It is not about will power, but rather "Curating the Cues".  For more information: michaeleendoucleff.com 

David Gottsegen, M.D.. is a pediatrician who uses hypnosis and mediation to help children with discomfort and fears about headaches, stomachaches, bedwetting, sleep issues, anxiety and many other common pediatric disorders. His recently published book is  Mending the  Body with the Mind: Harnessing Kids' Superpowers to Stay Healthy He is a strong advocate for helping children use their natural imaginative skills to deal with many challenging health related issues.  In this interview he shows us how he does it and for the sceptic there are 70 pages of references!

Kristen Cook, M.D. is a pediatrician who has just published Parenting REDEFINED: A Guide To Understanding and Nurturing Your Child's Behavior To Help Them Thrive. She also has a podcast MomDocTalk https://www.kristencookmd.com/podcast Whenever there is a problem with your child, the first recommendation is often to consult with your pediatrician. They have a unique vantage point of being familiar with every stage of child development and have often seen the same child from infancy to college graduations. So as think about how to help our anxious children, the perspective of a pediatrician is an extremely valuable contribution. In  Dr Cook book and podcast, she provides very clear and concise information on a wide range of issues. Today we focused on vaccines, medical trauma and how parents and pediatricians can collaborate effectively together. I