Dr. Kiki Turns Us Into BIRDS!

Happy Thanksgiving! We're off this week for the holiday, so we're presenting an encore presentation of an episode that was originally broadcast on September 5, 2018, and remains one of our all-time audience favorites. What the if humans evolved into shrikes - those adorable songbirds that impale their prey on thorns and barbed wire? Dr. Kiki Sanford, neurobiologist and host of This Week in Science, transforms us into gray-and-white birds with natural domino masks, hollow bones, and respiratory systems so efficient they make mammalian lungs look pathetic. Discover why you're literally dinosaur spawn, how shrikes turn thorns into gruesome pantries, and why territorial bird disputes would make parking lot arguments look civilized. Fast forward 10,000 years and watch strike-kind conquer the galaxy, impaling entire planets and building Dyson smores around distant suns. It's the perfect blend of real bird biology and ridiculous speculation - plus you'll never look at songbirds the same way again! Check out Dr. Kiki's podcast This Week in Science at www.twis.org - they broadcast live on Wednesday evenings!Retry —— Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Scientists just discovered ant queens that give birth to two completely different species - not twins, but actual separate species hatching from the same mother. But what the if every animal on Earth reproduced this way? Suddenly every pregnancy becomes a species reveal party, dairy farms need to manage herds where some cows give birth to regular calves while others pop out Ice Age yaks, and your family reunions include relatives from entirely different species sitting around the same table. Pet stores become absolute chaos when golden retrievers randomly give birth to wolves, and nobody knows which species they're getting until it hatches or emerges. Your family tree stops being a tree and starts looking like a biological choose-your-own-adventure book. This bizarre discovery from Science Magazine proves that when biology textbooks try to define species boundaries, nature just laughs and does whatever it wants anyway. Reproduction just got way weirder than anyone thought possible. Based on "Ant Queen Lays Eggs That Hatch Into Two Species" from Science Magazine Read the full article here: https://www.science.org/content/article/ant-queen-lays-eggs-hatch-two-species --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

This week we're trading hypothetical fungi and exploding planets for something scarier: actual government budgets. But don't worry - watching America accidentally hand the space race to China is just as entertaining as any sci-fi disaster scenario, and way more preventable. Think "For All Mankind" but with spreadsheets instead of heroic astronauts. What happens when NASA's budget gets slashed in half while China's space program keeps climbing? Chris Carberry from Explore Mars joins to explore a future where the International Space Station becomes the Chinese Space Station, lunar bases fly red flags instead of stars and stripes, and American astronauts have to hitch rides on Chinese rockets just to get into orbit. From Beijing's plans to build permanent moon bases to their ambitious Mars sample return missions that might beat NASA by years, discover how budget cuts could transform America from space exploration leader to space exploration spectator. Plus, find out why letting China dominate space science means losing more than just bragging rights - it means losing innovations in climate monitoring, planetary defense, and technologies that improve life here on Earth. Fair warning: this one gets into the nitty gritty of space policy and why funding science actually matters. Want more fascinating space content from Chris? Check out his books exploring the unexpected sides of space exploration - from the role of music in cosmic storytelling to humanity's long relationship with alcohol beyond Earth's atmosphere: The Music of Space: Scoring the Cosmos in Film and Television https://a.co/d/fQki9CS Alcohol in Space: Past, Present and Future https://a.co/d/aqCOkUz Alcohol in Space - The Movie https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0DJR1J6F8/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r And learn more about Chris' work advocating for human Mars exploration at Explore Mars: exploremars.org --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What the if mosquitoes were helpless against the sweet smell of their own doom? Scientists genetically engineered Metarhizium fungus to smell so irresistibly delicious that mosquitoes can't help but fly straight into deadly traps with a 90-100% success rate. Discover why these bloodsuckers are actually tiny recycling agents in nature (who knew?), learn why we can't just eliminate them without the whole ecosystem throwing a tantrum, and find out why one will inevitably end up on a future space station driving the crew absolutely bonkers. From glowing green fungus-covered mosquitoes that look like tiny Marvel villains to biological pest control that beats slathering industrial chemicals on everything, explore humanity's eternal quest to outsmart bugs that have been annoying us since the dawn of time. Based on "This Genetically Engineered Fungus Could Help Fix Your Mosquito Problem" by Jason Dinh, published in The New York Times on November 1st, 2025. Read the full article here: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/01/science/fungus-mosquitoes-genetic-engineering.html?unlocked_article_code=1.y08.x0jx.9OuE2HKzYyez&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What the if Frankenstein was real and doctors actually tried stitching corpses together to create new people? Forget dramatic lightning strikes and brooding in Gothic towers - the real adventure is managing the world's most complicated pharmacy order when seventeen different immune systems meet for the first time and immediately start fighting. Join us as we explore why creating a functional monster requires less "It's alive!" moments and more "Does this insurance plan cover interdimensional tissue rejection?", discover the eternal question of whose blood type gets to be in charge, and meet today's synthetic biology scientists who figured out you can just build new life from genes like tiny biological LEGO blocks. Turns out whether you're using body parts or DNA, humanity's been enthusiastically playing god for centuries - we've just gotten way better at the paperwork.

What the if all bodies of water on Earth were fizzy like soda? In the real world, Seneca Lake in New York produces mysterious underwater booms called "Seneca guns" that scientists think come from occasional gas pockets, but nobody knows for sure. But in our imaginary world where every lake constantly fizzes like champagne, Chicago would relocate to the mountains as Lake Michigan burps methane clouds all day long. New York and London would move to higher ground, while only brave "soda dwellers" would live at water level like Mad Max characters in vans by the river. Niagara Falls would transform into a methane-harvesting factory with enormous vacuum cleaners shipping gas to Texas for barbecue. Cities would rebuild on mountainsides and clifftops, everyone would construct homes on stilts near shores, and Mentos would become weapons of mass destruction capable of triggering lake explosions. Based on "Why is this lake burping?" published in The New York Times on Oct. 8, 2025: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/08/nyregion/seneca-lake-guns-drums.html?unlocked_article_code=1.vU8.hjhV.kfNyB5WcMwSr&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Honey guide birds in Africa respond to culturally distinct human calls and lead hunters to beehives, where humans crack them open and birds feast on the exposed beeswax. But what the if humans could whistle for any wild animal to help with tasks? Call a deer to haul your Costco groceries home (extra cabbage as payment), summon crows to find your lost earring for peanuts, or live in a Viking village where bears help with the salmon harvest then hibernate in someone's hut all winter. From turkey truffle-hunting to dolphins demanding space station aquariums, explore a world where wild animals and humans exist in bizarre symbiotic relationships that might have prevented industrialization altogether. Based on "Honeyguide Birds Learn Culturally Distinct Calls Made By Honey Hunters" by Walter Beckwith, published in AAAS Science on December 11, 2023. Read the full article at https://www.aaas.org/news/honeyguide-birds-learn-culturally-distinct-calls-made-honey-hunters --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

Scientists just used artificial intelligence to design the world's first AI-generated viruses capable of hunting down and killing drug-resistant strains of E. coli. These bacteriophages look like tiny alien pineapples with syringes that stab bacterial cells, and they're just the beginning of AI-created life. From Matt's dream of dish-cleaning bacteria that won't eat you (hopefully) to the accidental discovery that trying to make super purple petunias actually created white flowers instead, this episode explores what the if happens when computers start writing genetic code. Discover why we're running out of antibiotics, how a virus with only 11 genes works, and why your future dish soap bottle might say "now with AI inside." Plus, learn about the scientist who tried to engineer the most purple petunias ever and accidentally won a Nobel Prize instead. Based on "World's First AI Designed Viruses: A Step Towards AI Generated Life" by Katie Kavanagh, published in Nature on September 19, 2025. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-025-03055-y Matt also mentions a book worth checking out during the episode: "The Genealogy of a Gene: Patents, HIV/AIDS, and Race" by Myles W. Jackson, published by MIT Press. The book explores how intellectual property law has transformed scientific research through the fascinating story of the CCR5 gene, examining everything from Big Pharma to personalized medicine. Learn more at https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262533782/the-genealogy-of-a-gene/ --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What the if your brain literally ran out of storage space like a laptop refusing to save one more file? Neuroscientist Nikolay Kukushkin explains how memory isn't a filing cabinet but more like water carving rivers down a mountain - and when you carve too many paths, everything becomes a muddy mess. Discover why Mr. S, who remembered everything perfectly, couldn't recognize faces or taste food because his brain was too full of details. Learn why sleep is your brain's nightly cleanup crew and why we're all currently running at 98% memory capacity thanks to information overload. Plus, find out why forgetting your ex might also wipe out your algebra skills, and how even your kidney cells form their own minute-by-minute memories. Our guest is Nikolay Kukushkin, neuroscientist at NYU and author of "One Hand Clapping: Unraveling the Mystery of the Human Mind." You can learn more about Nikolay's fascinating book at https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/One-Hand-Clapping/Nikolay-Kukushkin/9781493090648 --- Check out our membership rewards! Visit us at Patreon.com/Whattheif Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at [email protected] and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big!Keep On IFFin',Philip, Matt & Gaby

What the if gravitational waves were big enough to see and feel? Instead of measuring distortions smaller than a proton, imagine watching your coffee table accordion in and out as ripples from distant black hole collisions pass through your local cafe. Every time Charlie the cat bats a toy mouse in Greenwich Village, sugar cubes scrunch in Williamsburg cafes. Brain surgeons would need to ask all of New York to sit perfectly still during operations to avoid gravitational interference. Even parking lots would seem impossibly far away one moment and right next to you the next as space itself stretches and compresses. From squirrels disrupting billion-dollar physics experiments to the strange world of noise-canceling gravity waves, discover why LIGO's incredible ability to detect universe-shaking events that distort space by one ten-thousandth the width of a proton might actually be humanity's most impressive scientific achievement. Based on "Happy Birthday, LIGO. Now Drop Dead." by Dennis Overby, published in The New York Times on September 10, 2025: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/09/10/science/gravitational-waves-ligo-black-holes.html?unlocked_article_code=1.nE8.QM2f.ag_83DD_kR8e&smid=url-share Learn More: "Gravity's Kiss: The Detection of Gravitational Waves" - https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262535120/gravitys-kiss/ Matt mentioned sociologist Harry Collins' nearly 900-page masterpiece about gravity wave detection as the first book he ever reviewed; find this comprehensive account of one of science's most remarkable discoveries written by someone embedded in the gravitational wave community for over 40 years. Professor Tiffany Nichols - https://cssh.northeastern.edu/faculty/tiffany-nichols/ Matt recommended his friend Tiffany's dissertation (soon to be a book) about how LIGO chose their detection sites; explore her research on the epic story of selecting locations for these mile-long instruments and how surrounding environments become part of the scientific process. What are Gravitational Waves - https://www.ligo.caltech.edu/page/what-are-gw Learn about the ripples in space-time that we imagined making visible in our thought experiment, including how these waves from colliding black holes create distortions 10,000 times smaller than an atomic nucleus. What is LIGO - https://www.ligo.caltech.edu/page/what-is-ligo Discover how this unique observatory uses 4-kilometer-long laser interferometers to detect the universe's most violent events, from the instrument that Matt described as humanity's most sensitive measurement device. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention