Ep. 294 | Becoming Her

This episode is all about what Becoming Her is and what it definitely is not. It's not a glow-up montage or a perfect morning routine. It's the quiet, relentless choice to show up as the truest version of you in the middle of real life. I share how identity isn't built in big moments, but in thousands of small decisions, and why turning down your inner critic and turning up your inner coach changes everything. This isn't self-help, it's identity work: you stop seeing yourself as something to fix and start seeing yourself as someone who is becoming. Reflect as you listen: What version of you are you ready to leave behind? Who are you becoming? What's one small choice today that lets her lead? And remember—you're not behind. You're just becoming.    

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on my 2025 transformation. The behind-the-scenes shifts and quiet decisions that changed everything. This was the year I stopped charging forward with force and started walking forward with clarity. The year I realized I don't want a business, relationships, or a life that feel out of synch with me, I want ones that grow with me. Because the truth is, we're always becoming… the question is whether we're doing it consciously or by default. As I walk into 2026, these are the non-negotiables I'm carrying with me: Alignment over approval Energy over obligation Rest over rushing Joy and fun over justifying Creativity over comparison I'm also sharing details about my next master class series, Becoming Her: a 6-month journey built from everything 2025 taught me. This experience is designed to gently uncover what's been keeping you stuck and guide you into the version of yourself you've been wanting… and waiting for. This episode kicks off a 12-episode series all about Becoming Her, with the second episode dropping soon. Plus, by popular listener request, the podcast is officially back to weekly episodes. If you've felt the pull to slow down, realign, and become more you, this episode is your invitation.

This episode explores the conversations women avoid, the boundaries left unspoken, and the truths swallowed in the name of keeping the peace. Midlife marks a shift where honesty becomes self-care, communication becomes real connection, and silence begins to cost more than it protects. Most women do not struggle with what they feel; they struggle with giving themselves permission to say it out loud. Conditioned to be agreeable and to hold everything together, many women trade inner peace for outward harmony. The episode breaks down three critical conversations: admitting you need more support without equating it to weakness, understanding boundaries as clarity rather than punishment, and telling the truth instead of shrinking, smoothing, or staying silent to avoid discomfort. You are not too old to speak honestly, to change, or to have the conversations that set you free. Ready to Take This Work Deeper?: Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

This episode dismantles the version of you built for approval and drags your real identity back into the light. It forces the quiet questions you've avoided: what actually energizes you, what you would want if guilt wasn't running the show, what you stopped doing that you still crave. It challenges the conditioned life you inherited, the roles, expectations, and performances that no longer fit, and examines the moment when those identities fall silent and you're left with the truth underneath. You'll hear a breakdown of how identity evolves, why phases of life expose what's real, and how letting yourself change opens doors you couldn't see while you were busy trying to be acceptable. Feeling lost becomes a signal, not a failure. That disorientation is often the doorway to what you value, what you want, and who you are when the noise stops. Ready to Take This Work Deeper?: Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

The deepest suffering often begins with five small words: "I wish it was different." In this episode, Coach Jenn and I uncover how that single thought fuels jealousy, judgment, comparison, and how to turn inward instead of outward when those emotions rise. You'll learn why jealousy isn't really about her, or them, or anyone else, it's about the unspoken parts of yourself asking to be seen. When you stop resisting what is and start listening to what's inside, you'll find that real joy isn't something to chase, it's something that's been waiting for you all along. Ready to Take This Work Deeper?: Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

In this episode, Coach Jenn and I challenge the belief that busyness equals worth. For too long, many have worn "busy" like a badge of honor, believing that rest must be earned, that stillness means laziness, and that productivity defines value. But the truth is simple: you are valuable because you exist, not because of what you do. We explore the different seasons of life, from motherhood to midlife transitions and how each one calls for a redefinition of what it means to make progress. Rest isn't indulgent; it's essential. Slowing down doesn't mean you're falling behind, it's how you realign with who you truly are. If you've ever struggled with guilt for resting, perfectionism that keeps you in constant motion, or the pressure to prove your worth through doing, this conversation will remind you that progress doesn't need to be seen, validated, or measured by anyone else.   Ready to Take This Work Deeper?: Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

No matter how old your kids are, the comparison trap of motherhood sneaks in. We look at other moms, our past selves, or who we think we should be and suddenly, we're judging everything we do. In this episode, Coach Jenn and I break down why comparison shows up at every stage of motherhood, how it steals our peace, and what it takes to let go of the "shoulds" so we can see the beauty of what is. If you've ever caught yourself thinking you're behind, not doing enough, or missing the mark, this episode will help you step out of that cycle and back into confidence, grace, and truth.   Ready to Take This Work Deeper?: Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

It's easy to scroll through social media and feel like everyone else's life is perfect, exciting, or somehow "better" than yours. But here's the truth: the highlight reels you see aren't the whole story, they're curated snippets, edited for likes, comments, and applause. In this episode, we talk about why the quiet, ordinary moments matter more than the flashy ones. Your life isn't meant to be a highlight reel, it's meant to be lived. The coffee in silence, the laundry piles, the laughs and tears with the people you love, these moments are real, meaningful, and enough. If you've ever compared your behind-the-scenes to someone else's carefully edited reel, this episode is a reminder to stop scrolling, stop comparing, and start fully inhabiting your own story.   Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

We live in a world that tells us "faster is better," whether it's losing weight, improving our relationships, or hitting career goals. But the pressure to rush often comes from fear—and it can disconnect us from the very process that brings results. In this episode, I talk about tearing down the timeline. When you slow down, focus on the small, consistent steps, and stop judging yourself for not being "there" yet, you actually reach your goals faster. I explore why rushing leads to burnout, frustration, and self-shame, and how embracing the journey can help you stay connected to yourself while still making progress. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by expectations, yours or someone else's, this episode is a reminder that slowing down might just be the smartest move you can make.   Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen

Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do… is say "no" to what doesn't serve you. In this episode, I talk about healthy rebellion, not the wild, reckless kind, but the kind that helps you reclaim your life, your voice, and your peace of mind. You'll hear why you don't owe anyone an explanation for your boundaries, your needs, or the things that make you happy. When you rebel in small, meaningful ways, you start trusting yourself again, stop giving your power away, and find freedom in making your own choices. This episode is for anyone who's tired of living to please the world and is ready to come back to themselves.   Are you ready to stop living on autopilot and start creating the life you actually want? The Life Upgrade Masterclass Series is your monthly blueprint for real change. 12-months of live Masterclass workshops (with replays available) designed to help you break old patterns, build momentum, and create lasting transformation. With a focused downloadable workbook monthly, you'll get the tools, strategies, and structure to take charge of your growth and stay aligned with your goals. No more drifting. No more stuck. Just intentional action, one month at a time. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW! Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Go to bflycoaching.com/coaching to schedule your free 30-minute consultation with one of our BFLY Coaches today! Visit bflycoaching.com and learn more about how to work with me! Follow me on social media: Facebook: @bflycoaching Instagram: @shannanchristiansen