Attachment styles, shame & self-regulation in eating disorder recovery with Cath Counihan

Today, I have the incredible Cath Counihan joining me, a trauma therapist, touch practitioner, and psychotherapist specialising in developmental trauma. Cath dives deep into the intersection of childhood trauma, attachment styles, and the ways these affect our relationships, self-worth, and behaviours in adulthood, especially for those on a journey of self-acceptance and recovery. In this episode, Cath and I explore everything from the impact of family dynamics and early childhood patterns to the roles of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and shame in our lives. We also discuss the importance of emotional regulation, creating safety, and how trauma shapes our coping mechanisms, particularly around food and body image. Get ready for a raw, enlightening, and inspiring conversation that will give you tools, insight, and hope for healing and finding true freedom. Let’s dive in! Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/ Connect with Cath https://www.cathcounihan.com

Welcome to today's episode of the podcast, where I had an inspiring conversation with the wonderful Emily Spence. Emily is an animal-loving, adventure-seeking life enthusiast who has fully recovered from her own restrictive eating disorder. Now, as a passionate advocate for full recovery, she’s dedicated to supporting others in their journeys to complete freedom as a coach. In this episode, we dive deep into whether full recovery and full freedom are truly possible. We also explore the powerful process of rediscovering your identity in recovery, and we unpack the often complex journey of neural rewiring, especially around compulsive movement. I’m so excited for you to listen to this conversation, and I hope it brings you insight, hope, and inspiration as you continue on your own journey toward food and body freedom. Let’s get into it! Connect with Emily Instagram: @emilyspence__Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCz2oUkO7UXpkkC7RCQrek2g Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/ Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/ Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

In this episode of The Body Love Binge podcast, I dive into a question I get asked all the time: How do you pursue health while allowing yourself to eat whatever you want during your eating disorder recovery journey? I believe that health should never be used as a reason to judge or shame yourself—or anyone else, for that matter. Instead, I argue that mental and emotional health, as well as self-care, should be prioritized over rigid definitions of "healthy eating." Main Discussion Points: Health is so often defined by physical metrics alone, but it’s important to recognize that true health also includes mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Shame and guilt about food choices don’t lead to health—they lead to disordered eating cycles. What really helps is self-acceptance and compassion. Choosing foods that bring you comfort can actually be an act of self-care for your mental health. Forcing yourself into rigid "healthy" eating often backfires. Allowing yourself all foods creates space for you to make genuinely healthy choices when you feel ready. It’s about quality of life—not just extending it at the cost of your happiness. Health looks different for everyone. Make choices that feel right for your body and your unique needs. Key Quotes: "Shame and guilt do not make you healthier. They make you miserable." [00:05:52] "You deserve a life where your worth is not measured by the number on the scale or the type of food that you eat." [00:11:53] "Allowance creates space for choice. You cannot rush to this stage." [00:09:55] I hope this episode brings you the reassurance you need as you continue your journey toward true health and freedom! Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/ Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/ Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

Victoria Kleinsman interviews Phaith Montoya, a plus-size fashion influencer, about her journey to self-love and body positivity. They discuss Phaith's struggles with binge eating disorder, society's fatphobia, and learning to embrace your body no matter its size. Guest Bio: Phaith Montoya is a 26-year-old content creator from New Jersey. After losing her teaching job during the pandemic, Phaith found community and passion for sharing fashion advice for plus-size women. She now has over 1 million social media followers. Key Quotes: "I think kindness leads me to minding my own business and leads me to not, like, be really harsh and react to everybody's moves as the way that I feel like people are so critical on the Internet now, but it's because they're not kind to themselves." (00:35:52) "I think it was just the exhaustion of choosing that first choice for so long...I used to write in my journal all the time, when you're at this weight, you can wear a bikini to the beach. When you're at this weight, you'll be able to do this. You'll be able to do this. And it was like, oh my gosh. Like, how exhausting, but life waiting for a milestone before I allow myself to live." (00:27:56) Main Discussion Points: ❤️ Learning self-compassion and body neutrality after years of disordered eating and fatphobia 💪🏻 Taking small actions to push past body image barriers 🙅🏻‍♀️ Leaving partners who refuse to unlearn fatphobia and respect your body 👯‍♀️ Finding community and inspiration from people who love you as you are 🌈 Decentering Eurocentric beauty standards that claim only thin bodies are attractive I hope you love yourself and your body after listening to this podcast! Sending you so much compassion. Let's end fatphobia together! 💖 Connect with Phaith https://www.instagram.com/phaithmontoya?igsh=eW03bTMwZHBiOHF5https://www.tiktok.com/@phaithmontoya?_t=8odMPdhWJFi&_r=1https://youtube.com/@phaith?si=2DtSj0fsendl-yVwhttps://snapchat.com/t/HpB8gSSZ Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

In this surprising episode, Victoria shares that she is 33 weeks pregnant after never wanting children before. She talks about her journey to accepting and embracing pregnancy and motherhood despite actively avoiding it for years. Listeners can expect to learn about Victoria's personal growth through pregnancy, tips for improving body image and self-love, and her excitement for giving birth at home. Key Discussion Points: - Victoria's shock at discovering the pregnancy after 4 years of natural birth control - Her husband's initial traumatic reaction and request for an abortion - Their shift after an emotional healing session to welcome the baby - How the pregnancy has taught Victoria to surrender, nourish herself, and put her needs first - Preparing mentally and physically for an unmedicated, home-water birth - How working with Victoria now means getting free coaching from two other incredible coaches during her maternity leave Quotes: "I felt like I didn't want him to say that. I just wanted support. And deep down, I knew I wanted this baby." (06:33) "I'm in absolute awe of the way my body's changing. I'm just in awe of it all." (17:08) "I'm so fucking grateful I've done all the work I have on myself bringing a girl into this world around body image and self-love." (15:14) "I'm so ready for this. I'm ready to surrender and just trust." (45:28) on preparing for birth Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

Hey lovely people! I had a few questions about my coaching business, so I thought I'd share the info here in case anyone else is interested too. I’m excited to officially announce that I’m now taking clients who are ready to become coaches themselves. Over the years, I’ve coached several individuals to become established coaches in the ED recovery and self-love coaching space, and it's been such an incredible journey. If you’re interested in stepping into this field and making a real impact, I’d love to support you in building a successful, aligned coaching business. Feel free to reach out if you'd like more info or have any questions! Much love, Victoria xx Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

This podcast episode features Victoria Kleinsman interviewing Georgia Gidney, who recovered from an eating disorder with Victoria's help. They discuss Georgia's recovery journey, including the fear she felt around recovery, how she pushed past that fear, her experience with extreme hunger, and the hardest parts of recovery for her. Key Discussion Points: - Georgia's history with disordered eating started at a very young age and her eventual anorexia diagnosis at age 17 - The pivotal moment when Georgia decided to get a recovery coach - The intense fear Georgia felt about starting recovery and how she moved past it through self-talk and opposite action - Georgia's experience with extreme hunger during recovery, eating up to 8,000 calories per day - The hardest part of recovery for Georgia is learning to rest and be less productive - How recovery transformed not just Georgia's relationship with food but her entire life Key Quotes: "I had a great fear that me recovered me would be, I don't know... Just stereotypically, like, not being able to do anything, not be productive." (Georgia, 00:42:46) "I want people to know that they might be so super, super, super duper scared, but they can still recover, go through recovery. And it's possible." (Georgia, 00:53:44) Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Join my group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/group-coaching/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/ Connect with Georgia: https://www.instagram.com/georgiagracerecovers/

In this podcast episode, Victoria Kleinsman interviews therapists Dr. Teralyn Sell and Jenn Wagner about mental health, therapy, and the challenges within the industry. Listeners can expect to gain insight into issues like over-medication, problems with diagnosis labelling, lack of nutrition education among providers, and more. Main Discussion Points: - Problems with overuse of psychiatric medications and lack of emphasis on nutrition, sleep, movement etc. in mental healthcare - Issues around diagnosis labelling and misuse of the DSM manual - Why providers often fail to obtain full informed consent with medications - Flaws in the "chemical imbalance theory" used to justify psychiatric meds - The benefits of taking a more holistic, individualised approach to mental health - How to safely deprescribe psychiatric medications if desired Guest Bios: Dr. Teralyn Sell is a therapist and podcaster. She has over 15 years experience working in corrections and mental health. Jenn Wagner is a therapist and popular mental health influencer on TikTok. She is passionate about bringing more empowering narratives to the mental health space. Both have a podcast together called "The Gaslit Truth" where they challenge conventional thinking in therapy and mental healthcare. Key Quotes: "The biggest bullshit is the chemical imbalance theory of mental health. That's the biggest bullshit." (Jen Wagner, 00:36:35) "If you're listening to this podcast and something clicks or resonates with you, right, and you go, I need a starting point, what I what I tell people is, like, just get curious about the idea in general of what things could feel like or look like if you were taking just a little bit less." (Dr. Teralyn, 01:02:05) The Gaslit truth podcast: beacons.ai/thegaslittruthpodcast Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Join my group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/group-coaching/  Work with me: https://victoriakleinsman.com/work-with-me/

In this episode, Victoria Kleinsman interviews eating disorder recovery coach Tabitha Farrar about her experiences helping clients recover from eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. They discuss the recovery process for those with additional diagnoses like autism or OCD, dealing with fears around weight gain and health implications of eating more, as well as Tabitha's own journey to recovery. Expect candid stories and practical advice for supporting loved ones with eating disorders. Main Discussion Points: - Recovery process and adaptations needed for those with autism, OCD, or trauma histories [00:00:20] - Knowing when you are fully recovered and your brain is "rewired" [00:03:54] - Taking a "sledgehammer" approach at first by acting opposite to eating disorder urges [00:01:10] - Missing extreme hunger once it's passed - it's normal [00:38:58] - Tabitha's journey giving up excessive exercise cold turkey [00:23:56] - Ideas around taking time off work to focus on recovery [00:45:52] Guest Bio: Tabitha Farrar struggled with anorexia and compulsive exercise for 10+ years before recovering. She shares her story and advice freely on her website, podcast, and YouTube channel. Tabitha now coaches limited clients part-time while running her horse farm. Quotes: "We have to be accountable for our actions. Your eating disorder cannot physically make your legs run a 10k every morning." [00:14:52] "I decided, look. You're gonna gain weight. It's gonna happen. So you may as well enjoy it because I could choose to gain weight and engage with all those negative emotions and have an awful time." [00:31:53] On giving up exercise: "I just decided I'm I'm stopping, and I meant it, and I stopped...I thought that all hell would break loose, and it just kinda didn't. It was just fine." [00:24:55] Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Join my group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/group-coaching/  1:1 coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/11-coaching/

In this week's episode of The Binge Love Podcast, host Victoria Kleinsman interviews her previous coaching client Amanda Dixon about her journey to recovery from an eating disorder. Listeners can expect to learn about Amanda's decades-long struggle with various disordered eating behaviours, what finally led her to seek help, and how she was eventually able to achieve full recovery with Victoria's guidance. Key Discussion Points: - Amanda traces her issues with food back to childhood, when she would sneak downstairs at night to binge eat without her family's knowledge - She cycled through years of restrictive dieting, bingeing, cutting, and over-exercising in an attempt to numb her trauma - Hitting rock bottom after a failed attempt to make herself throw up, Amanda discovered Victoria's podcast and law of attraction work and reached out for coaching - With Victoria's help, Amanda practised mirror work, sat with anxiety and learned to surrender rather than fight her extreme hunger and exercise addiction - now in a fully recovered and peaceful state, Amanda shares insights with those still struggling and prepares to start her own coaching business Connect with Amanda Website Podcast Key Quotes: "I would wake my sister up in the night when I was probably 4 or 5 to go downstairs and eat snacks that we were not supposed to eat during the day, like cookies and things like that." (00:07:53) "And I remember I just laid on the floor, and my throat was bleeding and throbbing. And I was like, I can't do this anymore." (00:12:17) "You have opened me up to this the me that I was, and I can see my potential and my strength, and I feel it." (00:50:37) Join my free support group: https://victoria-kleinsman.circle.so/c/free-support-group/  Free masterclass “How To Stop Bingeing” https://victoriakleinsman.com/how-to-stop-binge-eating-without-the-need-for-willpower/  Join my group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/group-coaching/  1:1 coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/11-coaching/