366. The Costs and Benefits of Standing Out: A Conversation with Deesha Dyer

How often do you feel like you’re concealing the “real” you? Do you struggle with being your authentic self, especially in challenging environments? “Authenticity” has become a very popular buzzword -- but what does it really mean? This week, I’m joined by Deesha Dyer, former White House Social Secretary and author of the book, "Undiplomatic: How My Attitude Created the Best Kind of Trouble". Deesha shares her incredible journey from going to community college at 29-years-old to working up the ranks in the Obama White House, and the challenges she faced along the way in staying true to herself. We discuss how to navigate being your authentic self in difficult environments - especially if you hold one or more marginalized identities - and the true costs and benefits of standing out.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/366

Grab this totally free guide, Closing the “Brain Gap” In Women’s Therapy: Three Ways to Deepen Rapport, Get Better Results, and Blow Your Clients’ Minds, here: https://feministtherapy.com/

Are you having a tough time figuring out whether therapy or coaching is right for you? Both have their own benefits, but it can be overwhelming to figure out which one is the right fit. And let's be real - people are always trying to compare them and say one is better than the other (trust me, I've got thoughts on this). There's a lot to unpack here, and I'm diving into it all in this episode!This week, I break down the debate of therapy versus coaching and how these practices can actually work together to support your personal growth journey. I guide you through some essential questions to consider when deciding between therapy, coaching, or a mix of both. Plus, I reveal the one crucial factor to keep in mind when making your decision. So grab your headphones and let's dive in!Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here:

I'm sure there are plenty of you who saw the word "strategy" in this episode's title and thought, “I’m not a strategic thinker, so this won’t apply to me.” And I don't blame you -- social conditioning teaches women that we’re either workhorses, nice, or lucky, and that being strategic is beyond our capabilities. Well, today's conversation is here to challenge that conditioning.You've probably heard of Seth Godin - entrepreneur, marketing genius, and bestselling author. He joins me for this bonus episode to explore how you can use strategy to overcome the indoctrination systems that keep us oppressed. You’ll learn why you ARE a strategic thinker, and you’ll see all the areas of your life where you could choose to think more strategically with a long-term perspective, instead of looking for short-term comfort.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/seth-godin-bonus

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I’ve got to get my shit together?" -- even if your life is... pretty together, given the circumstances? Even if you're the most productive woman on the planet, that nagging thought can still creep up—and it’s actually not about how organized or efficient you are. It's just a sign you've fallen into what I call the Efficiency Trap.This week, we uncover the real reasons behind the Efficiency Trap and how to redefine productivity in a way that aligns with your goals, priorities, and values. Let's break free from the endless to-do lists and find a path to productivity that truly matters.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/364

How do the messages you received as a child impact the way you parent your own kids? What if we could raise the next generation to be more empowered, resilient, and free from limiting gender stereotypes? To explore these questions, I’m joined by clinical psychologist and author of the new book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD.As an expert in feminist parenting, Dr. Finkelstein is here to illuminate how even the most well-intentioned and progressive of us unconsciously transmit harmful messages. Jo-Ann and I explore the importance of both validating girls’ experiences, and opening parents’ eyes to the ways we unintentionally shut down our daughters. Whether you're a parent or not, you do not want to miss this conversation!Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/363

Have you ever thought about what a truly fulfilling life might look like to you? Not just a life that includes more fleeting moments of happiness -- but a life that's sustainably joyful, calm, and rewarding.Join me for this Greatest Hits episode to hear the difference between the emotion of happiness and big-picture happiness, the role of confidence and self-safety in achieving your wildest dreams, and how happiness, confidence, and self-safety work together in powerful ways. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/362

How often do you feel like you don’t REALLY know what you want? Do you ever catch yourself waiting for someone more knowledgeable, responsible, or wise to either validate your choices or tell you it’s a bad idea? Join me this week to learn why so many women struggle with being decisive and how our socialization impacts the way we think about making decisions and taking risks. You’ll hear why there is so much value in embodying decisiveness, and my top tips for practicing self-coaching around your ability to become a decisive person. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/361

As you heard last week, women are constantly taking over-responsibility for everything and everyone in their lives- and it's exhausting. What if I told you there’s an antidote that doesn’t require isolating yourself in the woods or becoming a self-centered jerk? Well, you're in luck because in this episode, I explore the solution to over-responsibility: self-responsibility. You’ll learn why self-responsibility is the key to showing up in a way that’s supportive and aligned with your values, and how to begin letting go of the exhausting burden of over-responsibility. Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/360

Society teaches women that we are responsible for everything – from our appearance to others’ emotions, and even outcomes beyond our control. This belief system leads to anxiety, guilt, and shame, creating a constant state of mental and emotional exhaustion – and it's time to put an end to it. Listen in as I break down how over-responsibility manifests in women’s lives, what happens when you subconsciously or consciously believe you’re responsible for everything and everyone, and the long-term consequences of staying stuck in over-responsibility. Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/359