For Love We Heal: IFS and Attachment Styles

Window shopping for romance may define this era of dating. Apps have taken over the public spaces where we used to make social connections, and swiping takes seconds, where sifting through a pile of profiles at olympic speed gets you to the bottom of an empty barrel pretty quickly. Today, sex researcher Anna talks the hosts through a paper on the impact of choice overload when it comes to all those fish in the sea (in the barrel?). Turns out that the more fish, the less satisfaction. Have a listen to this week’s Carnal Knowledge for interesting findings about loneliness, satisfaction, and rejection mindset when it comes to our modern way of courting. Then put your phone down and maybe try chatting up that cutie in the coffee shop like the good ol days.Link to Study Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you talk to your doc about your sex life? Dr. Evelin Dacker is a family practitioner and sexual health educator. Her experience over 30 years in practice has guided her towards being a leader among physicians, educating other doctors on how and why they should be talking to their patients about sex. The hosts chat with Evelin about the medical impact of pleasure, the healing nature of authenticity, and the result of a culture that glorifies suffering. Dr. Dacker breaks down her STARS framework for thinking and talking about safety, turn ons, boundaries, relationship expectations, and sexual health status. Another one for the toolkit, the STARS method is a great perspective for sorting out our own thoughts and feelings about sex, and finding the words to share that with others. Find more on the STARS framework keep up with Dr. Evelin Dacker here:https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/On instagram:@[email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

History has been hard on our favourite hands-on hobby. Wanking has not been thoroughly explored in science research despite its significance in human sexuality from beginning to end of life, but Dr. Eric Sprankle has compiled his findings in a book all about our favourite pastime, “DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation”. In this episode, Dr. Sprankle shares some curious and strange tales from the history of masturbation including how the act has been viewed by different religions over time, the stories that have been made up and passed down to discourage self pleasure, and the rise of semen retention as a belief system. The hosts chat with Dr. Sprankle about the interpretation of art, social media and psychology, Satan’s semen, the criminalization of sex toys, and the clashing of our mythologies. Rest assured that no demons are waiting to mix your seed with Satan’s reproductive fluids.You can find the book at https://www.drsprankle.com/ and definitely follow Eric on Instagram and Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to pelvic floor health, it’s not just about Kegels and crossed legs. Dr. Sara Reardon, a.k.a. "The Vagina Whisperer," demystifies the often-overlooked world of pelvic floor therapy, revealing that it’s not just for those with vaginas. In this episode, she dives deep into the common issues like urinary leakage, pain, and tension that can affect anyone, regardless of gender. Do you blow your nose while you pee like Bryde? Well, you shouldn't. From sneezing while peeing to managing scar tissue after abdominal surgery, Dr. Reardon breaks down the importance of proactive care and open conversations. This episode has something for everyone—because pelvic health is universal. Find Dr. Sara Reardon on Instagram!@ the.vagina.whisperer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Brian Sloan has dedicated his career to perfecting the art of the machine-driven blowjob. This week Bryde and Jeremie enjoy a fascinating and hilarious conversation with Brian who details the ins and outs of AutoBlow, the leading brand of blowjob machines on the market. What makes a great blowjob? Tech and technique come together in the innovation of these machines, and if you want to hear how much further tech can take you, tune in to hear about the future potential of video syncing, voice control, and even mind reading. The testing process includes the haters, and the developers are in hiding because it wouldn’t be sex without stigma. Find more at https://autoblow.com and research the makers Very Intelligent Ecommerce Inc. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we’re growing up, it’s hard to conceive that the future will feel any different than the present, but the slogan “it gets better”, made popular by sexpert Dan Savage specifically addressing LGBTQ+ youth, tries to bridge that gap with reassurance. But does it actually get better? This week, sex researcher Anna delivers a longitudinal analysis following 230 LGTBQ+ adolescents over three and a half years. The paper talks about the distress caused by harassment and the impact and correlation of social support on mental health outcomes. Turn on your mind with a listen to this dose of Carnal Knowledge, and be a beacon for kids still coming through it.Link to Study:Does It Get Better? A Longitudinal Analysis of Psychological Distress and Victimization in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Youth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes a few well-chosen words can ignite the imagination in ways a picture never could. In this episode, Carly Pfeiffer, founder of Read Aurore, delves into the world of erotic storytelling, exploring how reading erotica can be a more nuanced and fulfilling experience than visual porn. Carly discusses the educational benefits of erotica, from inspiring fresh bedroom ideas to providing a platform for diverse voices in the genre. Whether you're curious about the therapeutic aspects of writing erotica or just looking to expand your erotic horizons, this conversation is packed with both inspiration and practical advice.Links:Read AuroreInstagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does it really matter if one parent in a couple does more parenting? In today's episode, sex researcher Anna delivers some Carnal Knowledge to Jeremie and Bryde via a research study on how the division of child care can affect sexual intimacy and relationship quality in heterosexual couples. They chat about what influences parents when dividing up responsibilities, what those responsibilities really are, and the systemic barriers that prevent an equal division of child rearing. It turns out that relationship quality is indeed impacted by how this role is shared, and there is a gendered difference of how parents feel about their roles. Listen up!Link to Study:The Division of Child Care, Sexual Intimacy, and Relationship Quality in Couples Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to love and connection, our childhood experiences often cast long shadows. Today’s guest is Alex Bishop, a registered professional counsellor with strong roots in the IFS - or - Internal Family Systems  framework, and the main focus of the conversation is attachment theory and how it impacts the way we form relationships - at home, at work, and at play. Bryde introduces the concept of IFS, a way of examining one’s inner experience from a lens of compassion and curiosity, making space for whatever burdens need to make themselves known, and finding a new way to care for oneself and one’s loved ones. Alex delivers his insight with thoughtfulness and clarity, and shares a little bit about his personal burden that resonated so much with Bryde. Tune in for some content that may open new doors of understanding, and offer a way of living and engaging with acceptance for all your parts. Find Alex and his work here:https://www.forloveweheal.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Take a walk through a deep, dark, sexy dungeon and you know what you will find? Attachment styles doing what attachment styles do, playing out secure or anxious-attachment, matching lids to every pot, and finding the right configuration to work through deep desires and heal hurts. This week researcher Anna dishes out the Carnal Knowledge determined by a survey study of 771 BDSM and non-BDSM practitioners to explore whether BDSM is a maladaptive coping mechanism in response to early life dynamics. It reveals some interesting little tidbits about community vs private practitioners, attachment styles, and differences in experiences of trauma. Have a listen and a little bit of learning that will help us all to continue to destigmatize conversations about sex and sexual expression.Link to study:The Psychology of Kink: a Survey Study into the Relationships of Trauma and Attachment Style with BDSM Interests Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.