Ep #183: The Cost of Being Who You Think They Want

Do you say “yes” when your body says “no”? This episode is a gentle guide to stop people-pleasing and start speaking your truth.The speaker explores the fear of being seen and the habit of fawning—agreeing to keep the peace—even when it doesn’t feel right. You’ll learn a simple way to tell the difference between your authentic intuition and old people-pleasing patterns: pause, breathe, and ask clear yes/no questions like, “Do I want this?” “Will it be good for me?” The episode highlights Satya (truthfulness) from yoga philosophy and the practice of Ishvarapranidhana (surrender), reminding us we can offer our truth but cannot control how others receive it. There’s also a science lens: social fear can feel like physical pain, yet every small act of honest expression rewires the brain toward self-trust and resilience. You’ll finish with a short grounding practice—hand on throat and heart—and affirmations like “I am safe to be seen.” If you’re ready to move from external approval to inner anchoring, this conversation will help you begin—kindly, clearly, and now.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:01:42 Being Seen, Heard, Valued00:02:34 Fear of Judgment vs. Truth00:04:08 Naming Fawning (People-Pleasing)00:04:46 Satya: Living in Truth00:06:15 Intuition vs. Old Patterns00:10:17 Body-Led Yes/No Questions00:12:30 Collecting a Clearer Truth00:14:21 Neuro Lens: Social Pain & Fear00:15:58 Why Speak Your Truth00:17:47 External Validation vs. Inner Anchor00:21:05 Ishvarapranidhana: Surrender00:21:56 Rewiring for Self-Trust00:23:23 Conscious Boundaries & Choices00:24:32 Grounding Questions00:25:18 Hand-to-Throat/Heart Practice00:29:11 Willing, Not Fearless00:30:19 Authenticity over Perfection00:33:05 Reflective Prompts & Close—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Yogic concepts: Satya (truthfulness), Ishvarapranidhana (surrender)Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Byron de Marse’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byronyoga/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: authenticity, fawning, people-pleasing, boundaries, Satya, Ishvarapranidhana, visibility, self-trust, inner validation, external validation, nervous system, neuroplasticity, yoga philosophy, mindset, emotional resilience

Have you ever felt pressure to be the “perfect” teacher—or the “perfect” student?In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Byron de Marse shares his personal experiences of becoming a teacher and the complex relationship that develops between teacher and student. He explores how stepping into the role of a teacher often brings up feelings of doubt, discomfort, and the fear of being seen. But rather than avoiding these feelings, Byron believes they are invitations to grow.The episode touches on how students often project ideas onto their teachers—seeing them as more wise, perfect, or powerful than they really are. This can create tension on both sides. Byron speaks openly about the responsibility teachers hold, the need to keep learning, and how being a teacher is really about being in service—not in control.He also dives into the importance of confidence, vulnerability, and humility in both teaching and learning. Whether you’re new to teaching or deep in your practice, this episode is a reminder that nobody has it all figured out—and that’s okay.✨ This episode will leave you thinking deeply about the energy you bring into the spaces you hold, and how we can all honor the sacred exchange between student and teacher.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:04:10 Byron's Journey into Teaching00:11:44 The Power Dynamic in Student-Teacher Relationships00:16:30 Projecting Perfection and Receiving Projection00:22:55 Teaching as a Mirror00:29:35 Vulnerability and Confidence as a Teacher00:35:58 Owning the Seat of the Teacher00:41:02 When the Student Becomes the Teacher00:47:19 Closing Reflections on Teaching with Integrity—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Byron de Marse’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byronyoga/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: teacher-student dynamics, yoga teaching, imposter syndrome, vulnerability, comparison, personal growth, space holding, self-inquiry, yoga philosophy, emotional intelligence

Are you performing your life—or truly living it?In this episode, the conversation explores the tension between performing for acceptance and the deep human desire for belonging. Many of us learn early on to shape-shift, hide parts of ourselves, or show up as who we think we should be—especially in relationships, careers, or community. But this constant performance comes at a cost: disconnection, anxiety, and a loss of authenticity.The episode dives into the neuroscience behind people-pleasing and masking, linking it to survival responses like fawning and dissociation. Drawing from yogic wisdom and somatic awareness, it invites listeners to notice where they feel safe to be real—and where they don’t.You’ll hear personal stories, reflection prompts, and key insights on how to shift from performing to belonging—through courage, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and community.💭 Because real belonging doesn’t ask you to shrink. It asks you to show up, messy and whole.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:03:16 Performing vs. Belonging00:06:27 People-pleasing & masking00:09:44 The fawn response explained00:12:36 Emotional masking in childhood00:15:02 The nervous system and identity00:17:55 Belonging vs. fitting in (Brené Brown)00:20:41 When authenticity feels dangerous00:24:08 Somatic cues for safety00:26:33 Real belonging through truth00:29:17 Boundaries and nervous system repair00:31:54 Letting go of performance00:33:48 Closing meditation & reflection—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Brené Brown: Belonging vs. fitting inPolyvagal theory: Fawn response, nervous system safetyConcepts: Masking, emotional safety, dissociation, somatic awarenessPractices: Grounding, reflection, inner child awarenessMichael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: authenticity, people-pleasing, fawn response, nervous system, belonging vs fitting in, performance, self-worth, trauma healing, yoga and emotions, somatic healing, identity, boundaries

We all want to feel seen, heard, and understood—but how often do we actually offer that to ourselves or others?This episode explores the deep emotional difference between validation and invalidation. You’ll learn how simple, kind words like “It makes sense you feel that way” can calm the nervous system, reduce stress, and create true connection. In contrast, phrases like “You’re overreacting” or “You shouldn’t feel that way” can lead to shame, anxiety, and emotional disconnection.The episode also touches on self-compassion versus self-judgment—reminding us that we can hold space for our own emotions without criticism. Scientific insights show how emotional validation regulates the nervous system, improves vagal tone, and strengthens emotional resilience. From a yogic lens, it connects to ahimsa (non-harming), especially in how we treat ourselves and others emotionally.Gentle breathing practices and reflection questions are offered to help you anchor these teachings in your body. Whether in relationships or in your own self-talk, this episode is a powerful reminder: validation doesn’t require agreement—just presence.🧠 A soothing and practical listen for anyone seeking deeper emotional connection.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:01:54 What Is Validation vs. Invalidation00:06:31 The Science Behind Validation00:10:29 Long-Term Effects of Invalidation00:10:35 Yogic Perspective: Ahimsa & Holding Space00:13:58 Self-Compassion vs. Self-Judgment00:20:12 Emotional Practice & Vagal Tone00:22:16 Integration: Reflective Questions00:24:42 Closing Meditation—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Concept of Ahimsa (Yogic principle of non-harming)Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: emotional validation, self-compassion, emotional intelligence, nervous system, relationships, holding space, ahimsa, breathwork, healing communication, self-judgment, self-regulation, vagus nerve, trauma-informed yoga, inner kindness

Ever wondered how to align your passion for yoga with your need to earn a living—without guilt?Kalina shares her powerful journey from the corporate world in Poland to becoming a yoga teacher and business mentor in Bali. After burning out in a high-stress job, she turned to yoga for relief, only to discover a deeper calling. Now, she helps yoga teachers break through limiting beliefs—especially around money, self-worth, and entrepreneurship.In this episode, Kalina dives into the emotional and practical blocks many yoga teachers face when transitioning into the business side of teaching. She challenges the belief that yoga and business can't coexist, offering simple mindset shifts and tools like journaling, tapping (EFT), and inner inquiry to explore one’s relationship with money.Kalina emphasizes the importance of intention: knowing your “why” not just in your teaching, but in how and why you charge for your work. She encourages yoga teachers to evaluate their pricing, move through fear of rejection, and step into the reality that it’s okay to charge—and charge well—for your time and transformation.Whether you're a new teacher or already navigating your yoga business, this episode will help you shift from doubt to clarity, from scarcity to sustainability.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:03:27 Kalina’s journey from corporate to yoga00:06:48 Moving to Bali for yoga00:09:39 Knowing your values and building a business00:12:05 Challenging the “low-paying job” mindset00:17:01 Why yoga teachers need business skills00:23:39 Reframing money beliefs00:27:28 Tapping as a tool for mindset shifts00:34:34 Practical pricing examples00:38:51 Studio classes vs private/workshops00:43:29 The importance of stepping back00:50:14 Kalina and Kalina’s personal pricing evolution00:55:01 Charging for transformation, not just time01:00:00 Final thoughts and message to listeners—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Episode #1: The Rat Race Crippled my Lower Back with Brent Collier: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3eLyqtM0Thmf6vGG6fKHK5?si=be77316f163a40a4Tap with Brad: https://www.youtube.com/tapwithbrad Kalina’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calispace_/Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: yoga teachers, money mindset, yoga business, limiting beliefs, entrepreneurship, pricing strategy, nervous system, tapping, burnout recovery, purpose-driven work, studio vs private teaching, EFT tapping, yoga lifestyle

What if not knowing is exactly where transformation begins?In this episode, the invitation is clear: step into uncertainty, not as something to fix or avoid, but as a powerful teacher. The conversation explores the contrast between certainty and uncertainty, control and trust, showing how our desire for clarity often blocks us from growth, creativity, and new possibilities.By letting go of needing to control every outcome, we allow space for inner wisdom, surrender, and even joy in the unknown. You’ll explore how breath (especially the pause between inhale and exhale) can train your nervous system to sit with discomfort. From neuroscience to yogic teachings like Ishvara Pranidhana, this episode reminds us that the unknown is not empty—it’s fertile ground for growth.Through reflection questions, breath practices, and insights on decision-making, you’ll leave feeling more grounded, present, and open to possibility—even without all the answers.A calming, poetic reminder that uncertainty isn’t a weakness—it’s where real life begins.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:02:06 Certainty vs. Uncertainty00:06:03 Possibility and the Unknown00:08:07 Voice of Certainty vs. Voice of Trust00:10:00 Breath Awareness & Kumbhaka00:13:06 Brain’s Fear of the Unknown00:15:40 Neuroplasticity & Growth00:18:01 Control vs. Trust00:22:32 Letting Go Increases Oxytocin00:25:03 Decision-Making from Calm vs. Fear00:26:00 Integration Meditation00:28:10 Final Reflections—-------—-------—-Ishvara Pranidhana (Yogic Niyama – surrender)Kumbhaka (breath retention)Concept of neuroplasticityMichael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: uncertainty, letting go, emotional growth, yoga philosophy, breathwork, trust, personal development, self-awareness, nervous system, Ishvara Pranidhana, mindfulness, control, decision making, surrender, neuroplasticity📚 Mentions & Resources:

What if the thing you’re avoiding—being truly seen—is actually the key to healing?In this powerful episode, the speaker explores the contrast between isolation and intimacy, and how both can impact our relationships, our work, and our inner world. While isolation often feels like protection—especially in times of burnout, heartbreak, or exhaustion—it can eventually lead to loneliness and numbness. On the other hand, intimacy requires courage. It’s about being vulnerable, open, and allowing yourself to be supported, not just in romantic relationships but in everyday life and professional spaces too.The episode blends neuroscience, yoga philosophy, and personal reflection. It touches on the role of the spiritual heart (hridaya), the healing power of physical and emotional connection, and the challenges of receiving support without guilt. Themes like overgiving vs. receptivity, self-care as a gateway to connection, and the need for balance are emphasized.Listeners are guided through reflective questions and even a gentle breath-based embodiment practice. The episode closes with a tender reminder: You are allowed to receive. You are not alone.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction  00:02:00 What is Isolation?  00:04:42 Defining Intimacy  00:06:15 Inner Narratives of Isolation  00:07:31 Yogic Lens: Hridaya & Bhakti  00:08:15 Acro Yoga & Building Trust  00:09:18 Science: Cortisol vs. Oxytocin  00:10:43 Intimacy with Yourself  00:13:09 Intimacy in Teaching  00:14:00 Entrepreneurship & Isolation  00:15:45 Overgiving vs. Receptivity  00:18:40 Self-Intimacy as a Foundation  00:22:30 Hatha Yoga & Balance  00:23:47 Why It's Hard to Receive  00:25:04 Story: Needing Help  00:27:27 Somatic Breath Practice  00:29:01 Reflective Questions  00:30:43 Closing Affirmations  —-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Yoga Concepts: Hridaya (spiritual heart), Bhakti Yoga, Hatha YogaScientific Ideas: Oxytocin, cortisol, inflammation, Polyvagal TheoryMichael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: intimacy, isolation, overgiving, receptivity, burnout, nervous system, yoga philosophy, self-care, emotional healing, vulnerability, connection, polyvagal theory

What happens when ancient wisdom meets a modern heart that's ready to listen?That’s exactly what unfolded for Lucy St. John. At just 23, a spontaneous experience of unity consciousness during a trip to India shifted the entire course of her life. Suddenly, she saw herself reflected in every human being—and that sense of deep connection lasted for months.In this heartfelt conversation, Lucy shares how that awakening led her to the Vedic tradition, 12 years of oral teachings, and a deep commitment to yoga, not just as movement, but as a way of being. From washing dishes in an ashram to chanting Sanskrit mantras with precision, Lucy reveals what it means to live yoga—not perform it.She opens up about the early days when no one showed up to her talks, the resilience it took to keep going, and the healing power of sound and silence. Whether you're a yoga teacher, practitioner, or simply curious about spiritual growth, this episode is a warm reminder that sometimes the most profound truths are the ones we already know—deep down.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:02:40 How Lucy Found Yoga00:06:13 Teaching Vedic Wisdom Before Yoga Was Popular00:14:02 What Is the Vedic Tradition?00:23:04 Mantras, Sound, and Vibration00:37:16 The Power of Just Being00:45:00 Ignorance as a Starting Point00:49:15 Shifting Energy in Yoga and Life00:56:05 Why Every Teacher’s Voice Matters00:59:28 Inner Peace Before Outer Change—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Vedic texts and oral traditionPatanjali’s Yoga SutrasMaharishi Mahesh Yogi & Transcendental MeditationKali Yuga & cosmic cyclesTM Ashram in RishikeshStory of Guha (King of the Forest)Dewey's quote: "Failure is instructiveLucy’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucystjohnyoga/?hl=enLucy’s Website: https://lucystjohnyoga.com/Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: vedic tradition, yoga philosophy, unity consciousness, yoga teacher training, mantra, sound healing, yoga therapy, inner peace, Sanskrit, spiritual practice, silence, embodiment

Ever feel like someone else’s success means you’re falling behind? You're not alone.In this episode, we explore the emotional trap of comparison—and how it often leads to scarcity thinking, self-doubt, and isolation. Whether you're a yoga teacher, creative, or entrepreneur, it’s easy to wonder, “Am I doing enough?” But comparison, when left unchecked, can shrink our sense of possibility and worth.Instead, this episode invites a mindset shift: from competition to community, and from scarcity to shared abundance. You’ll hear reflections on the yogic philosophy of aparigraha (non-attachment), the neuroscience of social comparison, and how genuine inspiration can rewire the brain for creativity and courage.With real-life metaphors (like running behind a pace-setter), affirmations, and somatic practices, this episode encourages you to celebrate others without dimming your own light. Because someone else’s success isn’t your loss—it’s proof of what’s possible.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:02:23 Scarcity vs. Enoughness00:05:09 Shifting the Comparison Lens00:09:41 Yogic Philosophy: Aparigraha00:11:19 Science: Fear & the Brain00:14:48 Isolation vs. Collective Growth00:17:46 Real-Life Example: Physio Teamwork00:19:56 Comparison as Pace, Not Threat00:22:29 Sangha & Shared Success00:24:22 Hormones: Cortisol vs. Oxytocin00:25:17 Embodied Reflection Practice00:27:49 Reflective Questions00:30:20 Closing Meditation00:32:28 Bonus Reflections—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Yogic concept: Aparigraha (non-attachment)Yogic concept: Sangha (community)Science: Amygdala activation, cortisol, oxytocinMetaphor: Running behind a pace-setterMichael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: scarcity mindset, abundance, comparison trap, yoga philosophy, community, growth mindset, personal development, aparigraha, neuroscience, enoughness, self-worth, inspiration, collaboration

What if starting over wasn’t a sign of failure… but an act of courage?This episode dives deep into the emotional and psychological journey of beginning again—whether it's a new habit, role, relationship, or mindset. It explores how fear of failure often blocks us from saying “yes” to new opportunities, and how adopting a beginner’s mindset can help us stay curious, resilient, and open to growth.Through personal reflection and a story about volunteering at a yoga festival, the speaker shares how keeping a simple “Courage Journal” helped transform habitual “no’s” into brave “yes’s.” The episode weaves together yogic philosophy (like svadhyaya and abhyasa), Zen teachings (shoshin), and neuroscience (neuroplasticity) to illustrate how starting fresh isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom in action.You’ll be guided through reflection prompts and a short breath-based meditation to reconnect with the idea that it’s not only safe to begin again—it’s brave.💡 A gentle, powerful reminder: you don’t have to be perfect to begin. You just have to begin.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:02:35 Emotional contrast: Fear vs. Curiosity00:06:00 The Courage Journal story00:12:34 What is curiosity and wonder?00:14:34 Yogic and Zen perspectives on beginner's mind00:15:45 Brain science and neuroplasticity00:20:00 Judgment vs. Trust in the Process00:24:16 The illusion of control00:27:24 Growth isn’t linear00:30:01 Releasing the pressure to be good00:31:28 Abhyasa & Vairagya – non-attachment and effort00:33:41 Adaptability as strength00:34:50 Affirmations: “It’s safe to be a beginner”00:37:38 Closing meditation—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Zen Buddhism: Shoshin – beginner’s mindYoga Philosophy: Svadhyaya, Abhyasa, VairagyaNeuroscience: neuroplasticity, growth mindsetMovie: Yes Man (Jim Carrey)Michael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: beginner’s mindset, courage, self-growth, personal development, yoga philosophy, fear of failure, neuroscience, abhyasa, non-attachment, curiosity, starting fresh, emotional intelligence, mindset shift