Ep #183: The Cost of Being Who You Think They Want
Are you performing your life—or truly living it?In this episode, the conversation explores the tension between performing for acceptance and the deep human desire for belonging. Many of us learn early on to shape-shift, hide parts of ourselves, or show up as who we think we should be—especially in relationships, careers, or community. But this constant performance comes at a cost: disconnection, anxiety, and a loss of authenticity.The episode dives into the neuroscience behind people-pleasing and masking, linking it to survival responses like fawning and dissociation. Drawing from yogic wisdom and somatic awareness, it invites listeners to notice where they feel safe to be real—and where they don’t.You’ll hear personal stories, reflection prompts, and key insights on how to shift from performing to belonging—through courage, boundaries, nervous system regulation, and community.💭 Because real belonging doesn’t ask you to shrink. It asks you to show up, messy and whole.—-------—-------—-Episode Chapters:00:00:00 Introduction00:03:16 Performing vs. Belonging00:06:27 People-pleasing & masking00:09:44 The fawn response explained00:12:36 Emotional masking in childhood00:15:02 The nervous system and identity00:17:55 Belonging vs. fitting in (Brené Brown)00:20:41 When authenticity feels dangerous00:24:08 Somatic cues for safety00:26:33 Real belonging through truth00:29:17 Boundaries and nervous system repair00:31:54 Letting go of performance00:33:48 Closing meditation & reflection—-------—-------—-📚 Mentions & Resources:Brené Brown: Belonging vs. fitting inPolyvagal theory: Fawn response, nervous system safetyConcepts: Masking, emotional safety, dissociation, somatic awarenessPractices: Grounding, reflection, inner child awarenessMichael Henri’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelyoga.pt/ Going Pro Yoga’s Instagram: https://www.instagram/com/goingproyoga/—-------—-------—-Tags: authenticity, people-pleasing, fawn response, nervous system, belonging vs fitting in, performance, self-worth, trauma healing, yoga and emotions, somatic healing, identity, boundaries