390. The psychology of serial monogamy & relationship hopping

We often dismiss the small, playful things we do to keep life joyful: collecting trinkets, baking for no reason, blowing bubbles, looking for magic. They’re labelled childish, unnecessary, or unserious. But psychology and neuroscience tell a very different story. Today, we're breaking down the psychology of whimsy, including: What “whimsy” actually is and why it’s trending again How play helps regulate your nervous system The neuroscience of stress, imagination and brain plasticity The science of beauty and the brain (neuroaesthetics) Why small acts of joy can be psychologically protective 15 whimsy activity ideas  Listen now!  Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We like to think we’re making conscious choices all day long - but a lot of what drives our reactions, habits, and gut feelings happens outside of awareness. The conscious vs. unconscious mind is a useful way to understand why you can know what you want, and still do the opposite. In this episode, we break down what the conscious and unconscious mind actually mean in psychology, where the idea came from, why it can feel unsettling to face, and how to build more influence over your impulses and automatic patterns.  We explore:•        The difference between deliberate thinking and automatic processing•        Freud’s topographical model•        The importance of the unconscious mind•        The responsibilities of the conscious and unconscious•        How to spot unhealthy unconscious patterns    Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    Our favourite sources: https://www.nature.com/articles/nn.2112 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/chapter/bookseries/abs/pii/S0065260106380021?via%3Dihub https://acmelab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/1999_the_unbearable_automaticity_of_being.pdf   The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do some people seem to move from relationship to relationship with barely any time in between, and why does being single feel almost impossible for them? In this bonus episode, we’re diving into the psychology behind relationship hopping (aka serial monogamy) and what’s really happening when someone craves commitment quickly, struggles with time alone, or keeps repeating the same cycle with different partners. We explore:•        The role of attachment in serial monogamy•        Why artificial closeness is so appealing•        The pull of the infatuation cycle•        The brain chemistry of love, reward and attachment•        What this pattern can teach us about self-growth Listen now!   Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After toxic love, healthy love can feel surprisingly hard to recognise because you’ve likely learned to expect chaos, inconsistency, and emotional whiplash. In this episode, we unpack what toxic love actually looks like, how it shapes your beliefs about love in your 20s, and why calm, consistent connection can feel suspicious or even ‘boring’ when you’re used to intensity. We explore:•        What toxic love is and how it intersects with abusive•        How this reshapes trust, pessimism, and your expectations of people•        The role of neurochemistry, addiction, and intermittent reinforcement in toxic bonds•        Self-sabotage and self-esteem•        The role of attachment patterns over time•        What healthy love and conflict actually feel like•        Practical ways to lean into safe love If you’re conflicted between craving consistency or chaos, this episode is for you.   Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Personal style might look like a surface-level thing, but it’s actually one of the most psychologically loaded choices we make every day. What we wear shapes how we’re perceived, how we feel, and sometimes even what parts of ourselves we give permission to show. In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of personal style - why we’re drawn to what we’re drawn to, what shapes our wardrobe, and how to find a style that actually feels like you. We explore: •        How upbringing and early experiences shape what feels safe, flattering, or off-limits•        The role of the Big Five personality traits•        Style as identity signalling•        How clothes shift out mood•        The role of trends and fast fashion in conformity•        How to rediscover your personal style If you’ve ever felt like your wardrobe doesn’t quite match who you are, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When did ‘narcissist’ become the go-to explanation for every difficult person - and what do we lose when one word starts covering everything from basic selfishness to genuine psychological harm? In this bonus episode, we break down what psychologists actually mean by narcissism: where the term came from, what it truly means, and how the term has been adopted in our society.  We explore:•        Differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic traits•        The two main forms of narcissism•        How has the term become overused?•        The dangers of simplifying the term•        Can narcissists ever change? Or is it all pretend? Listen now!   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's my 26th birthday, and I'm in a reflective mood. As I pass the halfway point of my 20s (and this podcast), I'm looking back at some of the lessons I've learnt so far and what I hope I learn in the next four years.  Also, the question people keep asking: will there be a Psychology of your 30s, stay tuned to the end to hear my thoughts!    Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to study smarter, not longer? Today, we're finally breaking down my psychology-backed guide to becoming the academic weapon you always dreamed of being. I’m sharing the exact study hacks I used to become high school valedictorian, maintain a near-perfect GPA at university, and actually enjoy the process of learning (and the Pomodoro method isn't mentioned once...) We talk about: How to make your brain care about what you’re learning The Note-Taking Manuscript Method Why personal relevance helps memory Using novelty to make concepts more memorable  Finding your peak productivity hours The effort paradox (why meaning follows effort, not motivation) How to hack your brain to focus longer and study better  If you want this academic year to be your best, you're in the right place! Listen now!  Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you’ve ever felt like a delayed reply, a change of tone, or a bit of feedback ruined your whole day, you might have a tendency to take things personally. In this episode, we’re looking at why your brain is wired to do it in the first place, and why it doesn’t automatically mean we’re self-centred and egotistical. We explore:•        Why we interpret normal things as an attack•        The spotlight effect and personalisation•        The role of the id, ego and superego•        How to tell when the ego is being helpful or harmful•        5 tips to stop taking things personally Listen now! Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Intrusive thoughts can feel shocking, confusing, and deeply personal - especially when they show up out of nowhere and go completely against who you are. But in reality, the majority of us have them. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of intrusive thoughts - why they happen, why they feel so emotional, and what actually helps when your mind won’t let something go. We explore: •        How common intrusive thoughts really are•        What intrusive thoughts are - and what they aren’t •        The most common intrusive thought themes•        The white bear effect and the ironic process theory•        Alternative tools to help manage the thoughts If you’ve ever been frightened by your own mind and wondered what it says about you - this episode is for you. Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.