348 – You Give Love a Bad Name

Hama and Haleth are inseparable; Alan and Matt, not so much. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings for An Unexpected Episode under your podcast tree, as we review the new film The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim! This blurb may be spoiler-free, but the episode certainly isn’t, so see the movie first, then come and enjoy our ‘short’ conversation about the movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Felaróf pays Eorl back by surrendering his freedom, while Matt pays Alan back with poetic body shaming. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we meet the first King of the Mark, and flashback to his naming of Felaróf, in our first of two episodes on Appendix A II - The House of Eorl. Fram kills Scatha, but earns the enmity of the Dwarves; Helm proves he’s the original One-Punch Man; and Wulf’s time as King of the Mark is short-lived. We discover a creepy poem about Scatha, make future predictions from the past, and come up with a disturbing origin story for Santa Claus.  Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.com/pony Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code PONY at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we answer listener questions once again in our 29th Questions After Nightfall! From Nazgûl backstories to chess in Middle-earth, from fantastic Middle-earth insults to the meaning of ‘crownless’, our listeners once again challenge us with unexpected questions. Alan helps Matt with some music history, while Matt admits we’re clueless. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code PONY at checkout! Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.com/pony Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Stewardship of Gondor became hereditary as a kingship; should the PPP co-hosts follow suit? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy on his last episode this season as the Stewards of Gondor harden their hearts against the return of a king, any king. Cirion looks for an answer, and decides to phone a friend; the Stewards keep Gondor the same, only the names will change; and Thorongil has good advice for Ecthelion. Alan finds another excuse to read Quenya, while Don looks for his copy of Parmesan Eggplant #17, and we realize we don’t use “bereft” enough. Also, Mount Doom has a funny start button.  You have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% of your first subscription or 20% off one time purchases with code PONY20 at checkout. You can claim it at: https://www.magicmind.com/PONY20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Wainriders strike Gondor, leaving them without a king for a time, while Don’s old jokes leave Alan to cry a thousand rivers. Join The Man of the West and the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as the arrival of the Wainriders triggers a series of Unfortunate Events. Eärnil saves the day for Gondor, but not for Arthedain, Malbeth has some important words, and Glorfindel could afford to be more specific. We observe that if you knock Gondor down then it gets up again, note a little passive-aggressive “per my last email” tone from the Council of Gondor, and make our own Rings of Power prophecy. Also, is Don even old enough to go to a pub? Magic Mind: You have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off one time purchases with code PONY20 at checkout. You can claim it at: https://www.magicmind.com/PONY20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The waning of Gondor had already begun in Atanatar’s day; let’s hope Don brings better luck for the PPP. Join us as Gondor reaches the summit of its power in the first of two episodes on the Gondor and the Heirs of Anárion in Appendix A. Lazy kings and racist Gondorians lead to a civil war, Eldacar is shot through the heart and Castamir’s to blame, and the greatest evil is yet to come. We talk about poetry, war crimes, and all things Goth(ic). Also, we wonder what drives a king to marry a nefarious, solitary and loveless cat-lady. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Arvedui offers the Lossoth jewels they don’t want; Alan and Don offer bad puns you don’t want. Join us as evil comes to Arnor as we continue our time in Appendix A, this time on Arnor and the Heirs of Isildur. Rhudaur goes bad, the Barrow-downs get new residents, and Arvedui finds he’s not even halfway there. We speculate on the reason for Arnor’s breakup, challenge listeners to draw a map with a crayon while blindfolded, and brook no dissent about our praise for Círdan. Also, Don gets Rhudaur in the podcast split. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien gives us 3400 years of Númenórean history in just a few pages; Alan and Don make those few pages *feel* like a 3400-year long episode. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as we walk through the line of Kings and Queens of Númenor in our second episode on Appendix A I (i) on Númenor. We wonder what would have happened if Silmariën had become the first Ruling Queen, talk about agnatic primogeniture again, and watch as Kings of Númenor come up with ‘very bad ideas’™. Also, Sara joins Alan to chat with the translator of the Welsh edition of The Hobbit, Tar-Atanamir says ‘hold my beer’, and Alan gives some very depressing advice about mortality. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shall I describe it to you, or would you like Alan and Don to find you a map? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien introduces us to his island paradise in the what-it-says-on-the-tin chapter, A Description of the Island of Númenor, from Unfinished Tales! We have fun with Quenya pronunciations, decide that it’s best not to build the Meneltarma Visitor Center after all, and speculate that Eldalondë the Green smelled like a smoothie shop. Also, we stumble upon a great name for a rock band, make a joke about the… larch, and wisely choose not to laugh at dancing bears. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien regrets the ‘truncated and compressed form’ of the Appendices to The Lord of the Rings, while Alan and Don regret the truncated and compressed form of this episode! Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien gives us the fastest version of The Silmarillion ever in our first episode on the Annals of the Kings and Rulers. We beat the Fëanor piñata, visit the Hotel Thangorodrim and watch the Edain follow the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning to reach their new land. Also starring: grim grinning door handles and the avoided-for-that-cometh-anyway. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices