IFS and Attachment with David Eckel

On today's episode I chat with Molly LaCroix about her new book! This is Molly's second appearance on the podcast. Hear her first episode here: IFS and Why Christians Talk So Much About Love But Often Fail to be Loving with Molly LaCroix - Tammy Sollenberger Molly is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in treating the impact of trauma and adversity. She earned a master’s in marriage and family therapy from Bethel Seminary San Diego, where she returned as an adjunct professor. Molly is a Certified and Level Three-trained IFS therapist and clinical consultant. We talk about: Integrating Christian spirituality with the IFS model for personal growth and healing Using Hagar's story to introduce Self, with emphasis on self-awareness and connection to the divine Understanding Self and sin in Christian context, using King David as an example Internal work impacting relationships, using Good Samaritan parable as example The importance of internal work for spiritual growth and loving others unconditionally Managers and Firefighters stories found in the Bible Spiritual abuse, Enneagram, and personal growth The power of sacred stories and the importance of diverse voices in theological discussions ---- Connect with Molly here: Home | Molly LaCroix - Author Buy her new book here: Journey to Shalom: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Freedom In Sacred Stories - Kindle edition by LaCroix, Molly. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com. Follow Molly on social media @MollyLacroixLMFT and subscribe to her upcoming Substack "Exiled and Embraced" ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram

On this re-released episode, I talk with Carmen Jimenez-Pride about her chapter in the Altogether Us book on Play Therapy. Carmen is an Lead Trainer with the IFS Insitute, the founder, and Executive Director of Outspoken Counseling and Consulting. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor, Certified EMDR Therapist, Internal Family Systems Therapist, Registered Yoga Teacher, Registered Children Yoga Teacher and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator. Carmen is also a LEGO® Serious Play® Facilitator. Carmen is the developer of Diversity in Play Therapy Inc.; and creator/organizer of the Diversity in Play Therapy Summit.  ____ We talk about: Carmen's story Sand Tray Parts Mapping Engaging with Parents (unblending from our parts and helping them identify theirs) Challenges working with IFS and Kids I grow, you grow, we grow together Diversity in Play Therapy Summit Focus on Feelings curriculum Carmen says, "What if we can prevent the impact of the Exile? ... We are able to soften the impact of the burdens parts carry using creative means in play therapy." ____ This episode is brought to you by the IFS Institute, now enrolling for their Summer Continuity Program - IFS with Children and Adolescents featuring Carmen Jimenez-Pride. Learn more here:  https://discover.ifs-institute.com/summer-continuity/?utm_source=The+One+Inside&utm_medium=banner&utm_campaign=Summer_Continuity ____ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ____ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ____ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ____ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram ____ The book "Altogether us" is available here: Altogether Us: Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities, and Trends - Kindle edition by Riemersma, Jenna. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com. A portion of all proceeds will go to The Foundation for Self Leadership's Fellows Program. You can find out more here: Foundation IFS: Home

On today's episode I chat with David Eckel, an accredited mental health social worker and IFS Level 2 therapist in Australia. He is currently completing his Ph.D. focused on Internal Family Systems Therapy and Adult Attachment. As part of his Ph.D. thesis, he conducted qualitative research asking the question: “How might Internal Family Systems Therapy conceptualise and treat adults with attachment avoidance and attachment anxiety?” He shares some of his findings and insights.  In this episode we discuss: The significance of attachment patterns and how they can change across relationships and contexts Attachment defintion and history of the theory Understanding attachment patterns in repairing ruptures (repair is key) Intersections between attachment theory and IFS  Can we call IFS an attachment-based therapy? "The Controversy" around internal vs. external attachment His research process Can parts have different attachment styles? The role of Self in healing attachment wounds Ruptures and negotiating separation and togetherness are normal and can be modeled in therapy Anxious attachment may involve reactivity, helplessness, and pulling others in Avoidant attachment may involve deactivation, caretaking, and self reliance How attachment relates to parts ---- Visit David on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-eckel-46958232/ ---- Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram

This is a re-release of Season 2 Ep. 65 with Paul Neustadt. To find the Free Webinar and register for the four-week workshop from Life Architect, go to: Free webinar: Working with Therapist Parts to Access Self in IFS Therapy (lifearchitect.com) IFS: Therapeutic Relationship and Power of Presence by Paul Neustadt (lifearchitect.com) ----- On today's episode I chat with Paul Neustadt, a lead trainer with the IFS Institute. Paul has such a warm, engaging teaching style and I just loved our conversation. Paul's answer to the last question, "What would you do instead?" may be my new life goal or at least a daily intention. We discuss: 1. Creating our own inner circle - when you have a hard time accessing compassion (or Self) 2. Impacts of individualism (our culture) on our parts 3. Tapping into our own inner wisdom 4. The Gifts of our Exiles 5. Paul demonstrates Direct Access with one of my manager parts 6. Degrees of Blending 7. Inviting exiles (the younger parts of us) to 'tune into their true nature, who they really are' 8. Relational Heart Based Activism 9. When Self energy seems impossible. "What is this thing called Self and how do I get it!?" ---- Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram ------ This episode is sponsored by Life Architect. As the IFS Institute's international partner, they organize IFS training and online workshops about IFS and other therapy modalities for those new to IFS and experienced practitioners alike. Life Architect is committed to advancing the professional development of mental health professionals around the world.

On today's episode I chat with Dr. Frank Anderson about his new memoir, "To Be Loved." A beloved psychiatrist and leader in the IFS community, this is Frank's third appearance on the podcast. We talk about: Unexpected Impact of a vulnerable personal memoir vs his other clinical themed books (3:05) Separation of Self from intelligence Parts- "I am not just my Smart part" (3:31) Love and disconnection from self and others (5:33) Childhood trauma memories and healing experience with mom (11:11) Experience of love (12:19) Forgiveness of father and himself (17:25) Reconciliation vs. forgiveness (19:32) Impact on and from his siblings (22:21) Writing as healing - he encourages writing your "moments that made me" for healing (25:54) Music and healing - how music helped his healing journey and influenced his chapter titles (32:01) Bringing trauma healing to more people with new initiatives like the Trauma Institute  (39:15)   * The full video of this episode is available on  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube ----- Find out more about Frank here: Trauma Blocks Love. Love Heals Trauma. (frankandersonmd.com) ------ Follow Tammy on Instagram Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) and on Facebook at  The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's episode I chat with Theresa Soltzberg, LMFT and IFS therapist. Theresa is an expressive arts therapist, mixed media artist, writer and instructor who offers her clients and students experiences that allow the intersection of their self-expression, soul healing and deep personal story. She has been guiding and instructing others in their creative process and life journey for many years. We talk about: - Her story and how she came into the IFS world  - "Free to Express Me" with mixed media art journaling (12:30) - Working with Soul pages and Rakefet Hador (14:34) - Trauma focused: "The embodied experience of art is itself healing" (18:09) - Setting intentions, Making Layers, Using Metaphor (20:00) - Integrating the Enneagram (21:00) - Creating Collage and one collective piece (22:00) - Working with 'Art' parts (I'm not an artist!) (27:00) - Examples of working with parts in art (30:00) - How to do our your own/get started (34:00) - Evolving Images of Self (38:00) - Use of the enneagram (39:00)   AND! - Free Resources (42) For The One Inside Listeners! Found here- TOI (theresasoltzberg.com)   -----   You can connect with Theresa here: Theresa Soltzberg (@theresa.soltzberg) • Instagram photos and videos https://www.theresasoltzberg.com/   More information about Soul pages: Visual journal - create a visual art diary | Visual journaling with Rakefet Hadar (soul-pages.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's podcast I chat with Natalie Hoffman, author, podcast host and IFS enthusiast about her new memoir.   One of the things I loved about this book is the IFS-y structure of it. In one section, she allows her younger parts to tell their story, their memories and she responds to each from Self. Another section is written like a play: Named parts responding and reacting to one another.   Natalie Hoffman is the author of "Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse" and "All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir" as well as the host of the Flying Free podcast. She is a mother, grandmother, educator, and passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Through the Flying Free Sisterhood program, Natalie empowers Christian women to discover and use their God-given voices, gifts, and freedom to make their own adult choices for their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.   ------ "Scary little gods in our lives try to control and steal our true Essence, making us feel safe but trapping us in fear." These 'scary little gods' can be organizations, family culture, or our own inner parts. Natalie reflects on her religious, traumatic childhood experiences and how they relate to her identity and connection to her True Self and to the Creator.  We talk about her passion for helping women of faith, particularly Christian women, who are struggling with disillusionment and a lack of self-worth. She shares about leaving toxic environments and abusive relationships and the importance of listening to our inner parts. We talk about others 'bullying' parts and how seeing hurtful behavior through this lens helps our own systems. We talk about ways to connect to our younger parts and how we all can live in Freedom and Choice. It is a beautiful, rich conversation. ----- Find out more about Natalie and get her books here: Flying Free Support for Women in Abusive Relationships (flyingfreenow.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

Derek Scott and I got to meet one last time here on the podcast. I want to share with you what I know because a lot of you have asked. You will find out a lot in this episode from Derek himself. I was among a small group who knew he was sick and when he was passing. After we recorded the episode I got to read his book and watch a session between him and Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS. My understanding is you will be able to see this incredible session when you buy the book. Sign up for the launch here: Dead (Spoiler Alert): a Psychotherapist's Journey With Cancer If you haven't heard of Derek Scott, I invite you to go to YouTube and check out his channel. Many of us in the IFS community learned so much by watching his videos. He and I recorded a full IFS session on video three years ago. He would text me periodically and let me know how many people had watched it. I just looked -- it has 70,000 views! Derek ran an organization called IFSCA, based in Canada, which teach IFS courses. In all the years I’ve known Derek he is clear to honor Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS. He makes it known that his courses are not IFS trainings. He was always careful to distinguish that and to be so respectful of Dick. If you go to the podcast page on my website and search for Derek Scott, you will see several episodes we did together. Over the years he would text me and say, "Hey do you wanna talk about such and such?" I’d always say yes. Here are all the links: Full episode between Derek as therapist and me as client: Complete IFS Session (youtube.com) Derek's youtube channel: (14) Derek IFSCA - YouTube Derek's organziation IFS in Canada: Home - IFSCA Other podcast episodes with Derek: You searched for derek scott - Tammy Sollenberger He was a friend, and I am so grateful for his presence in my life. The last text I received from him was a week before he died, and it was just this emoji … 🤸‍♀️ Sending you all so much warmth and compassion as you listen to this episode. All my love, Tammy ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On today's episode I chat with Dr. François Le Doze, MD. He is a psychotherapist, an IFS therapist, and trainer and has been a neurologist for nearly thirty years in a teaching Hospital in Caen, France. He has always been interested in the relationship between the body and mind, and his knowledge of neuroscience allows him to integrate recent neuroscientific findings into his psychotherapy practice. He's actively developing a model of psychotherapy called Relational Intelligence® based on his clinical experience and expertise. In this episode we chat about: How crisis caused him to reconsider his relationship with IFS and Psychotherapy The influence of Polyvagal Theory on his Relational Intelligence Model "This is not a Part, but a disruption in my nervous system." "This isn't You; but a State of you." A key clarification in the Relational Intelligence model: Self-regulation = what is happening in your body; Co-regulation = what is happening between us. Bubble Theory: using meta-cogniton to connect and calm the nervous system   Two a-ha moments for me: "We need to DO something TO the system and not expect the system will be able to unblend from the Inside Out." Self Energy must be the regulator the client's system. This Self Energy can originate from either the Self of the client or the Self of the therapist. The client's Self CANNOT lead if their nervous system is dysregulated. In such cases we must tend to the saftey within the therapeutic relationship before proceeding (just as children experience Self of their parents through attachment before their own Self).   His website: SELF THERAPY TRAINING - The Relational Intelligence® model (selftherapie.com) To learn more about and register for the training he is offering through IFSCA on March 22, 2024 go to: Relational Intelligence: The Emerging European Model for Trauma. A synthesis of IFS, Neuroscience, Polyvagal & attachment theory Tickets in Online, ON, Canada (ticketleap.com) ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel:  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is currently enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.    

On this week’s episode I chat with Boo Trundle about her IFS-inspired novel, The Daughter Ship. Boo is a writer, artist, and performer whose work has appeared across various platforms and publications, including The Brooklyn Rail, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and NPR’s The Moth. She has released three albums of original music with Big Deal Records.  I absolutely loved this book and the way she blended years of inner child work and IFS therapy to create the unique Parts perspective she uses to write the novel. She shares her process of discovering and relating to different parts and learning how to tell their stories. We identify legacy burdens, ancestral guides, and which character in the novel represents her true Self. We talk about: Using IFS to inform and transform her writing (3:00) The unique storytelling of the novel telling her Parts’ stories (7:00) Her journey discovering her Parts and learning their stories (12:00) Writing as a healing and spiritual experience (16:00) Connecting with Self and ancestral guides during a summer writing workshop (20:00) Identifying which character in the novel represents her true Self (33:00) Connect with her here: https://www.bootrundle.com https://www.instagram.com/bootrundle https://twitter.com/account/access https://www.facebook.com/BooTrundle/ ------ Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside's YouTube channel.  The One Inside Podcast - YouTube Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy: Tammy Sollenberger (@ifs.tammy) • Instagram photos and videos and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger: The One Inside: Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger | Facebook. ------ Jeff Schrum is Co-Producer of The One Inside Podcast. He completed the IFS Online Circle and is enrolled in an IFS Level 1 training.  ------ Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. You can purchase it here: The One Inside: 30 Days To Your Authentic Self: Sollenberger, Tammy: 9780967688756: Amazon.com: Books or wherever books are sold. Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website: Home - Tammy Sollenberger ------ Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program. You can follow Jack at bonzemusic on Instagram.