Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire | #199

Adam Karr outlines his personal framework for finding success in both life and business. He shares insights into how to hire the best CEOs (even if you have just ten minutes to talk with them) and what CEOs he avoids talking to, the simple ideas Karr takes seriously, the correlation between people's writing and their performance, and more. This episode is packed with practical wisdom on how to succeed as an investor and business person. Adam Karr is the President and Portfolio Manager at Orbis Investments. Prior to Orbis, Karr was a partner at Palladium Equity and a financial analyst at Donaldson, Lufkin, and Jenrette. (00:00) Intro (02:44) Investing Strategies and Market Games (04:08) Adapting and Evolving Investment Styles (05:20) The Importance of Obsession and Environment (06:29) Aligning with Long-Term Investment Goals (07:11) Identifying and Evaluating Obsessed CEOs (08:13) The Role of Culture in Investment Decisions (08:54) Building Long-Term Positions and Overcoming Short-Term Pressures (12:21) The Blueprint for Success (15:24) Learning from Role Models and Mentors (21:25) The Power of Writing and Decision Analytics (29:11) The Magic in the Last 5% of Investment Research (35:25) Understanding Roll-Ups: Success Factors and Challenges (36:01) Applying Knowledge for an Unfair Advantage (37:42) Learning from Feedback and Case Studies (40:47) The Importance of Independent Thinking (43:06) Lessons from Industry Leaders (49:32) The Will to Practice and Time Management (56:44) Positioning for Success and Resilience (01:08:59) Defining Success and Helping Others Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ -- Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. -- Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ -- Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tkppodcast

In this episode, John Mackey takes us from the inception of SaferWay—the precursor to Whole Foods—to building one of the most successful natural food empires in the United States. He shares how a life-altering experience shifted his consciousness about food and health, leading him to pioneer the organic food movement. Learn about the delicate balance between staying true to personal ideals and adapting to market realities, as Mackey discusses the challenges of entrepreneurship, the importance of listening to customers, and the resilience needed to overcome crises, like the flood that nearly destroyed his first store. This conversation is packed with lessons on visionary leadership, the tension between idealism and business growth, and the power of staying committed to a mission. John Mackey is the co-founder of Whole Foods Market, where he was the CEO of the company from 1980 to 2022. He is the author of the bestselling book, Conscious Capitalism. Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ -- Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. -- Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ -- Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tkppodcast 00:00 Introduction 02:30 From Safer Way to Whole Foods: The Early Days 03:46 The Struggles and Successes of Whole Foods 05:22 Navigating Criticism and Market Realities 08:36 The Lamar Location and the 100-Year Flood 10:46 Rebuilding and Realizing Stakeholder Value 14:57 Learning the Retail Ropes 22:35 Growth, Challenges, and Entrepreneurial Resilience 35:51 Acquisitions and Expanding the Whole Foods Empire 41:17 The Drive to Build a Chain 42:17 Founder-Led vs. Professional Management 44:38 Challenges of Bureaucracy 46:56 The Importance of Cost Control 50:44 Entrepreneurial Spirit and Creativity 52:56 Facing Leadership Challenges 01:02:57 The Amazon Merger 01:19:01 Capitalism vs. Socialism 01:26:27 The Illusion of Control in Socialism 01:27:44 The Kibbutz Experiment: Idealism vs. Reality 01:30:53 Capitalism: A Win-Win Game 01:32:04 The Power of Win-Win-Win Philosophy 01:34:28 A Personal Story: Winning Over Deborah 01:37:29 The Role of Business Planning 01:38:49 Qualities of Successful Entrepreneurs 01:49:12 The Hero's Journey: Advice for Young Entrepreneurs 01:51:05 Introducing Love Life: A Holistic Health Venture 01:57:18 The Importance of Whole Foods and Nutrition 02:08:09 Concluding Thoughts on Success and Happiness

From commanding the cycling circuit with Team Canada to building an 8-figure enterprise, Rob Fraser reveals the sophisticated mental models that drive exceptional performance. This isn't about sports metaphors—it's a masterclass in translating elite competitive principles into business strategy. Rob Fraser is the owner and operator of the sock company OUTWAY. In this conversation, Rob and Shane discuss focus, executing under pressure, growing a business from hustling on the street to over 10 million in sales in a few years, how OUTWAY was almost destroyed, and arranging your life to operate at a consistently high level for a long time. As a special offer to listeners, the TKP community can get 30% off using the code SHANE at checkout. https://outway.com/ Newsletter The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farnamstreet Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-parrish-050a2183/ Follow Rob: X: https://x.com/robbfraser LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robbfraser/ Sponsors: Somewhere.com https://www.somewhere.com/ Overlap: https://www.joinoverlap.com/

Through contrarian thinking and patient capital deployment, John Bragg built two multi-billion-dollar businesses from a remote village. John Bragg is the entrepreneur behind Oxford Frozen Foods, which processes over 50% of the world's wild blueberries, and Eastlink Communications, the largest private telecommunications company in North America. This epside isn't about startup hacks but the timeless principles behind building multi-generational businesses that operate through good and bad times. Shane and John discuss how he transformed a commodity agriculture business into a global leader and launched an unlikely telecommunications empire. This episode offers a rare glimpse into the strategic mind of one of North America's most private (and successful) business leaders. Newsletter The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farnamstreet Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-parrish-050a2183/ Sponsors: Overlap: https://www.joinoverlap.com/

When Princeton-educated attorney Erin Wade left law to open a restaurant, she didn't just create award-winning comfort food—she engineered a revolutionary workplace culture. This conversation reveals how she transformed an Oakland mac and cheese restaurant into a laboratory for modern management principles. Wade shares her groundbreaking 'color code of conduct' system (now adopted globally) and her radical approach to open-book management. A masterclass in building culture, solving industry-wide challenges, and leading with precision rather than convention. Newsletter The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farnamstreet Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-parrish-050a2183/ (00:00) Intro (02:30) Wade's surfing obsession (04:42) Defeating overthinking (05:00) Wade's background in food (06:40) Wade's law detour (10:20) On being fired (12:40) Early mistakes and freedom (20:00) Employee-centric companies (32:30) Homeroom Hard Times (34:40) How Wade's law background helped (and hurt) (42:40) The Color Code of Conduct (49:30) Why Wade sold Homeroom (and how she felt) (55:58) Impact vs. Intent (59:00) Why titles are important (01:04:00) On success

Matthew Dicks reveals the sophisticated frameworks behind storytelling mastery—an essential skill for leaders who need to persuade, inspire, and drive change. Far from basic presentation tips, this conversation deconstructs the psychological elements that make stories an instrument of influence. Learn the strategic principles of narrative architecture that separate forgettable anecdotes from stories that reshape boardrooms, pitch meetings, and executive communications. A masterclass in wielding one of leadership's most powerful but least understood tools. (00:00:00 Intro (00:03:28) What makes a good story (00:06:57) Stories vs anecdotes (00:08:29) A Story: The Spoon of Power (00:17:42) The art of story architecture (00:21:28) Create compelling stories (00:36:30) Common mistakes & how to fix them (00:55:01) Strategic Listening (01:03:32) Can you lie in stories? (01:05:10) 'And' stories vs. 'but / therefore' stories (01:10:05) Finding engaging stories in everyday life (01:20:05) Structuring a story (01:24:00) Storytelling for an unforgettable brand (01:31:20) Learn confidence (01:38:40) Writing vs telling a story (01:51:53) Teach kids to love writing (01:55:15) Define success Newsletter The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farnamstreet Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-parrish-050a2183/ -- Sponsor: Overlap https://www.joinoverlap.com/ - Listen to podcasts like never before.

Former IBM executive April Dunford reveals the sophisticated frameworks behind market leadership. This isn't about marketing tactics but how category leaders reshape markets to their advantage. Drawing from decades of experience, Dunford shares the nuanced art of market definition, competitive positioning, and strategic narrative. These are essential insights for leaders who understand that winning isn't about being better—it's about being different in meaningful ways. -- Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (02:07) Positioning, explained (16:47) Why is positioning important? (20:40) B2B vs. B2C positioning (29:03) When re-positioning a product failed (32:31) How to identify customer's pain points (34:35) How to position a product on a sales page (38:06) How technology has changed positioning (41:40) How to evaluate product positioning (45:43) Who's in charge of positioning at a company? (50:27) On storytelling (56:35) Should a company have a point of view on the market? (1:00:21) Dealing with gatekeepers in B2B marketing (1:03:02) Mistakes people make with positioning (1:05:21) What schools get wrong about marketing (1:08:59) Secrets of B2B decision-making (1:11:18) On success

From Cambridge startup to NYSE heavyweight, HubSpot co-founder Brian Halligan reveals the sophisticated frameworks behind scaling a $30B enterprise. Now a Sequoia Capital Senior Advisor, Halligan shares rare insights into the nuanced decisions that separate exceptional companies from merely successful ones. Learn the strategic principles of modern company building, including the counterintuitive culture choices, talent algorithms, and leadership pivots that defined HubSpot's trajectory. A masterclass in scaling excellence from startup to global enterprise. Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (02:36) Halligan's life-changing snowmobile accident (09:38) Shane's life-changing medical mystery (14:38) The different phases a CEO goes through while growing companies (20:44) Lessons learned from Steve Jobs (23:18) How to hire and fire people (and when) (27:55) The problems with "Best Practices" in business (31:11) The most underrated public CEOs (and why Jerry Garcia from The Grateful Dead is on this list) (43:38) The history and future of inbound marketing (51:08) On decision making (55:18) On work-life balance (58:28) On success Newsletter The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Upgrade If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. Follow Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farnamstreet Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-parrish-050a2183/

Few episodes in The Knowledge Project’s nine-year history have impacted people’s relationships and lives more than when Esther Perel shared her infinite wisdom for the first time in 2019. Shane and Esther discuss how the stories you tell yourself shape how you see the world (and what to do about that), the important conversations to have at the beginning of a relationship, the most common arguments couples have and how to prevent them, what to say to a partner if the relationship isn’t working out, the relationship between desire, love, and pleasure, and so much more. Plus, the conversation starts out on an interesting note: Esther Perel shares stories about her parents surviving the Holocaust and how their experiences shaped her childhood and continue to shape her life today. (This episode is a replay of one of our most popular episodes ever and was recorded in 2019.) -- Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠ -- Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠⁠ and get your own private feed. -- Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ -- Timestamps: (00:00) Intro(02:38) Coming back to life after the war(08:09) The myth of stability(11:30) The power of reflections(19:48) Important conversations for early relationships(24:20) Can values change in relationships?(27:20) Being secure in a relationship(30:40) Better conversations with your partner(33:00) What's behind every criticism(36:52) Too much honesty(39:37) What happens if I don't love my partner(47:12) Why does good sex fade in relationships?(50:59) Love vs. desire(55:38) How to have difficult conversations with your partner(01:05:13) Conscious uncoupling Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠⁠ Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠⁠ My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠⁠ Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠ Join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/

Shane Parrish and Maya Shankar dive into the complexities of identity and personal transformation. They explore how significant life changes can reshape one's sense of self and explain how to navigate these transitions. Maya shares her personal stories and tips on making proactive choices and keeping a flexible, layered sense of self. They also discuss the psychological and philosophical aspects of identity, offering practical advice on goal-setting and personal growth. Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist and the creator, executive producer, and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans. Shankar was a Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She holds a Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology from Oxford and a B.A from Yale. -- Newsletter - The Brain Food newsletter delivers actionable insights and thoughtful ideas every Sunday. It takes 5 minutes to read, and it’s completely free. Learn more and sign up at ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠-- Upgrade — If you want to hear my thoughts and reflections at the end of the episode, join our membership: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠ and get your own private feed. -- Follow me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ -- Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (02:40) Shankar's "almost unbelievable" story of getting into Julliard (05:30) Why Shankar studied identity (11:38) What is identity? (14:52) Using your identity to accomplish your goals (18:00) Using anti-identities to accomplish your goals (18:51) What to do when your identity is "attacked" (26:30) How to re-establish trust in institutions (32:30) Use identity to start a positive habit (35:35) How to debunk myths with stories and facts (37:18) How does how we frame our goals help (or prevent) us from accomplishing them (43:11) The one motivational technique Shankar uses every day (45:15) On success Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠ Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠ My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠ Follow me: ⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠ Join our membership: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/