Ep5: Small Town Boy

Did we find him? What happened? We attempt to live fully into our mission to make you laugh and make you cry with this one – you might want a blanket and a bottle of wine to get through it. Email us at [email protected] and let us know your reaction! 

We can’t tell you much in the episode description without giving things away, so we’ll give you this: there’s a promo for a sitcom we’re pitching to Netflix, there are guest interviews that will restore your love of humanity, plus a whole new song to get your groove back! But is there a cliffhanger? People, please. It’s what we do.       

After the cliffhanger in the last episode, it’s time to go deep and find out exactly what happens when Michael knocks on Daddy’s door. You’ll hear more recordings from the road, interviews with Michael’s family when they learn the news of what went down, and you’ll find out what will happen next. Let’s just say we’re not done with cliffhangers on this show and it doesn’t end with us going back home to Portland – stay tuned until the end!

In our Season 2 debut, Michael and Lanie fly to Florida, survey the swamp scene, do a live performance in Delray Beach, get hammered, and set out to find Daddy – all in the first 48 hours. We’re not just re-telling these stories in the studio, either! You’ll hear recordings from the road, because let’s be honest, hearing stories about drunk people can be funny, but hearing stories FROM people while they’re drunk is where the comedy gold is buried. This episode even includes an original song dedicated to our loyal listeners that will be burning up the dance charts for months to come. Of course, the big questions are, did they find Daddy? And, what happened if they did? Listen all the way through to the end to find out. We’ve made you laugh and cry; can we make you gasp? © 2021 The First Michael

We’ve stitched together excerpts from our first few episodes of Season 2, including interviews, special guests and drunken travelogues to give you a sneak peek before we return next week! We’ve even dropped a few clues – do you think you can figure out what happened on our big trip? Send us a message on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter and tell us your theories, and be sure to tell everyone you know to get caught up so you’re ready for the cliffhanger at the end of the Season 2, Episode 1 debut on September 13th! © 2021 The First Michael, © The Studio

Is it possible for the Season One finale to be both a great cliffhanger AND the most satisfying resolution to our story you could imagine?  Listen all the way to the very end and then write us at [email protected] and tell us if we nailed it. To be honest, we know we did, but we want to hear you say it. At length, please.   Lanie and Michael are on the cusp of their fateful trip to find… you know who, and it’s time to start working through some scenarios of how this might play out. We’ll walk you through them in a choose-your-own-adventure style segment, where you’ll learn there’s really only one perfect way for this to go down. It involves a half-gallon of Fireball, a national chain restaurant, a double-barrel shotgun and Lanie in a kaftan. We shouldn’t say any more.   Stick around for bonus content! You’ll hear interviews with my family answering the question, “what do you think about me going on this quest?” In addition to insightful, funny answers from them, you’ll hear what a proper Brooklyn accent sounds like. (Hint: not like mine. Apologies again to the entire State of New York.) Thank you for your beautiful support of our show through Season One!! Stay tuned – we won’t be gone for long!

If there’s one thing we love on this podcast, it’s episodes that are sequels to other episodes. Also, wieners, we love those, too. Anyway, if you’ve been paying attention, you know that Michael has, like, twice as many moms as most people, but they’re all dead, so the whole thing is a real mixed bag for him. The dead mom in this episode is Elaine, but we’ll mostly be talking about the parts where she was alive and making us laugh our asses off. Will there be tears? Perhaps a few, but this one will have you in stitches. I swear on all my mothers’ graves. 

Michael is no longer a precocious tyke in this episode, he’s a teenager. Now that the Devil isn’t trying to tempt him to steal gingerbread cookies, will life get easier for our intrepid hero? Or will puberty, wieners, body hair, locker rooms and a cute new boy at school make things, uhh… harder? We’re also edging ever closer to Michael and Lanie departing for their fateful trip, so be sure to stay caught up and don’t forget to send us your stories of first crushes to [email protected]!

The Big City Buonocores move from Brooklyn to small town Buckley, Washington, and it’s a bit of a crash landing for Michael. While his mother is glad to be away from the dangers of city life and his father is charmed by their rural surroundings, our young hero is not so thrilled. First of all, there are spiders and bees and an entirely unnecessary amount of nature. Second of all, the big source of entertainment in town is the Logger’s Rodeo. Who rodeos logs? Why is there a feed store downtown? What the hell IS a feed store? Can you get snacks? We’ll answer some of these questions for you, if we remember to.  

Remember all that stuff in episode 1 about how Michael is the Perfect Goodheart, the Chosen One sent from God? Prepare to have your world rocked when you find out the Devil has his hooks in him. We’ll travel back in time to Brooklyn in the 1970’s, when Satan was very actively possessing the children of Catholic parents, as we all know from the horror films of that era. Get ready for some laughs as young Michael tries to keep Lucifer at bay; you might want to have some holy water handy. And remember what they say: idle hands are the Devil’s playground or something, so send us your stories of temptation and getting caught to [email protected]