243 “I don’t know who I am any more”: People pleasing, mental load and reclaiming boundaries

Join me for The Consistency Codes - a 30 minute masterclass for women who know WHAT they “should” be doing, but still can’t seem to make it stick.Monday 13th April - 7.30pm - 100% FREE - Sign Up HereSelf sabotage, emotional eating, perfectionism and procrastination aren’t random habits or proof that you lack willpower.In this episode, I’m unpacking the deeper pattern that can sit underneath them all: good girl conditioning. The pressure to be easy, capable, in control and endlessly accommodating might look impressive from the outside, but it can also be a key factor in disconnecingt you from your own needs. Leaving you stuck in exhausting stop-start cycles with food, fitness and your body.I talk about why this has nothing to do with a lack of discipline, why chasing consistency through pressure often leads straight to burnout, and why learning how to be consistent starts with self-trust, not stricter rules.TakeawaysWhy self sabotage, emotional eating and stop-start patterns with food can be rooted in good girl conditioning rather than a lack of disciplineHow perfectionism and procrastination keep you stuck in the cycle of being “on it” or “off it” instead of building real consistencyA more honest way to think about how to be consistent without driving yourself into burnoutNEXT:Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear itFollow me over on instagramFollow the show so you don’t miss another episode

Join me for The Consistency Codes - a 30 minute masterclass for women who know WHAT they “should” be doing, but still can’t seem to make it stick. Monday 13th April - 7.30pm - 100% FREESECURE YOUR SPACE HEREAt some point, many of us arrive at a moment where we realise we’ve lost our identity among the stress load, the mental load and the pressures of life and motherhood.And between all the things we do for other people, and routinely putting our needs bottom of the list we suddenly realise that we need to rekindle our purpose, our joy and our passion again.In this episode, I’m exploring why so many of us lose ourselves along the way - to nervous system burnout, people pleasing and always putting everyone else’s needs first. And more importantly, I’m sharing practical ways to begin reconnecting with yourself again and finding your purpose and passion.Here’s what we’ll talk about:The societal norms that lead to so many women losing their sense of identity.Cultural expectations around people-pleasing, emotional labour and self-sacrifice.Reclaiming boundaries to create the space needed to reconnect with yourself.Rediscovering joy through small acts of pleasure, curiosity and self-reflection.Reconnecting with your own identity and desires to show up more fully - not only for yourself, but for everyone around you.NEXT STEPS:Share this episode with a friendListen to next: Episode 151 - Healthy Boundaries and How to Create Them Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comFollow me on Instagram: @lifeeditwithalix

More and more I’m seeing women wanting to stop yo-yo dieting for good, and leave the binge restrict cycle and the associated emotional and stress eating behind. But at the same time, they may still have weight loss goals, and want to ensure they’re still focusing on their health.So a few weeks ago I ran a brand new mini group coaching experience called Done with Diets - and noticed a few recurring patterns that I’m sharing here with you today. Because the women I worked with had lots of knowledge and they didn’t lack discipline. The problem was that all of that wasn’t translating into action.So in this episode we’re exploring 3 of the key hidden patterns that were dictating their relationship with food, leading to stress and emotional eating and keeping the food freedom they wanted at arms length.And help you to start building a calmer, more balanced and intuitive relationship with food and your body. RESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: @lifeeditwithalix

You might have heard a lot of talk about high cortisol and perimenopause, the link between cortisol and weight loss and how we should all be aiming for lower cortisol and better nervous system regulation.But the biggie, of course, is the link between cortisol and belly fat. So in this episode, we’re going a little bit deeper to talk about not just the link between stress and more fat around the tummy, but also the ways in which high cortisol shows up in digestion, bloating, recovery, fatigue, cravings…and even your ability to build muscle.This isn’t about scaring you into trying to eliminate stress, but about helping you to understand the places where cortisol might be derailing your progress, so you can learn how to work WITH your body instead of against it.I’m also sharing my own recent cortisol test results - which were genuinely eye opening. Not because I’m burnt out, but because they revealed a pattern I see in so many high functioning women - of high output, low recovery.If you feel like you’re doing all the “right” things but your body isn’t responding the way it should, this episode will help you spot what’s really going on and give you simple, realistic ways to support your nervous system, digestion, and recovery (without ditching training or living like a monk).RESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: @lifeeditwithalix

We’re constantly told that if we want to reach our long term fitness goals, we need to move faster. Work harder. Push more. But what if that constant rush is actually the very thing keeping you stuck? In this episode, I’m exploring why chasing quick wins often leads to burnout, inconsistency and frustration - and how we can get strategic about speed for sustainable fitness, sustainable weight loss and for creating a long term fitness mindset.I’m also sharing the approach I’m taking this year as I turn 50, with a focus on sustainable habits, nervous system safety and consistent effort. If you’re tired of the all-or-nothing cycle and ready for progress that actually lasts, this is the episode for you.Here’s what we’ll cover:Why chasing quick results often creates pressure, inconsistency and burnout.How rushing activates your nervous system and pushes you into all-or-nothing patterns.Why slow progress fitness often leads to faster long-term results.The power of identity-based goals.Practical ways to slow down strategically and build sustainable habits that last.

I’m going to take a wild guess — you’re a bit blind to your own brilliance.You second guess yourself. You overthink. You flirt with imposter syndrome. And while you’re trying to build confidence or develop self belief, you’re still quietly underestimating the very qualities that make you powerful.In this episode, we’re diving into self awareness and identity work - because the problem isn’t your discipline, productivity or willpower. It’s that you’ve normalised your own resilience for so long that you can’t see it clearly anymore.We’ll talk about:Why you see yourself differently to the way everyone else doesHow to stop underestimating yourselfAnd how to increase your self worth (and recognition of your own amazing gifts) every single dayThis is women’s empowerment in its truest form - living authentically, leaning into self acceptance, and building a confidence mindset rooted in self trust, not fear.If you’ve ever wondered how to get out of your own head, how to develop self belief, or how to finally make decisions from who you actually are (instead of who you think you should be), this one’s for you.RESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: @lifeeditwithalix

This week I’m doing something a little different. Because I’m talking about the collective rage (or helplessness) many of us might be feeling about the state of the world right now. And how we can use that to actually stop shrinking…and instead have an amazing impact on the world.How we personally can empower ourselves through things like redefining productivity, learning to rest without guilt, offering ourselves greater self compassion and breaking free from diet culture. The ultimate rebellion in a world that thrives from our sacrifice.And this isn’t just about women’s empowerment and rejecting hustle culture. It’s about the fact that the more of us who stand up for ourselves and lean into a greater sense of self worth, the greater a ripple effect we create collectively.Here’s what we’ll cover:Why our anger is actually our powerThe systems that are keeping us distracted (our weight, our productivity and people pleasing)How we can all create a ripple effect when we stop shrinking and ultimately make this world a better place for all of usRESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: @lifeeditwithalix

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “I can relax later” - when work calms down, when the kids are older, when you’ve lost the weight, later when you’ve finally earned it? This episode is a loving call-out of that little lie (because yes, I tell myself it too). I’m unpacking why we keep living in that “waiting room” where ease and balance feel so close… but never quite arrive. And the truth is: if your peace is conditional on you achieving something first, you’ll spend your life chasing a finish line that keeps moving.I break down what’s really underneath the “I’ll relax when…” pattern and share simple, practical ways to start bridging the gap now. Because letting go doesn’t mean losing progress and rest is NOT a reward.Key takeawaysWhy “I’ll relax later” is more to do with safety than lack of time.Why if ease is conditional on weight loss / success / productivity, it stays out of reach.Why letting go doesn’t derail progress but usually speeds up the results you actually want.RESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: @lifeeditwithalix

If you’ve ever looked at another woman’s progress and thought - “she’s just got more motivation than me”, then consider this episode your (gentle) wake up call. Because my most successful client aren’t asking how can I be more motivated, or relying on willpower or just trying harder than you.Instead, they’ve dumped control and perfectionism and let themselves do something too many of us resist: getting honest, getting curious and staying in the work even when it feels uncertain.In this episode, I’m breaking down the core traits I see in my most successful clients - the ones who create real change and feel amazing in their own skin.We talk about letting go of the “try harder” trap, and about how to build an inner world that continues to support you, even when motivation goes missing. These are the success habits that really work.RESOURCES:Secret (& Free) Limited Podcast: Confident As F**k (Even When You’re Not There Yet)Work with me: www.lifeeditcoaching.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/lifeeditwithalix

You’re already trying to make self care a priority - the magnesium, the meditation, the phone-free wind down. And yet your brain still feels like an overthinking engine.So maybe you start looking for more self care strategies, a better morning routine, or telling yourself consistency will finally solve the problem. But in this episode I’m getting super clear on why the self care you’re already doing isn’t giving you the calm you’re craving - and won’t do until you make what you’re already doing work better. Yep - we’re flipping the script and looking at what’s really happening beneath the overthinking, the perfectionist tendencies and why even the best self care habits in the world won’t work at their best until you tackle that.I’ll show you how to shift from self care as control, to self care as connection - the kind that finally calms the noise and helps you feel safer in your own body again.So if you’ve ever wondered why bubble baths and meditation aren’t doing the trick…this one’s for you. We’ll cover:Why you don’t need MORE self care, you need to understand why what you’re already doing isn’t landing.Why self care which chases control is going to backfire.The underlying beliefs which block the benefits of any ritualJOIN ME INSIDE DONE WITH DIETS HERENEXT STEPS:Share this episode with a friendFollow me on instagram