Loose Nips Sink Ships

Jonathan is back from the US Open with stories to share. What is it like attending the US Open now that it's allegedly overrun by influencers? We talk about the difficulty of paying attention to tennis on the sport’s biggest court. Plus, we hear about the experience of seeing Venus and Serena play doubles, staying up with Novak and Venus for the tournament’s latest ever start, and cold green beans and caviar. As for the tennis, the top women have mostly survived and the race for #1 is still on, while the men are offering precious little when so much is at stake.  1:00 The Louis Armstrong virtual queue 5:40 The women’s round of 16: Zheng, Osaka, Gauff, and more 17:40 Waiting around for Venus vs Kenin 20:00 Venus & Serena doubles: Venus was great! 24:35 Watching tennis in Ashe is not for the easily distracted 29:30 Men’s results: say goodbye to the top half  44:25 Consider me uninfluenced 53:25 Other stuff from the grounds: lotharios, palomas, and caviar

One of us is heading to New York for the 2026 US Open as we speak. On our preview episode, we talk about the first real fight for the women’s #1 ranking in a while; the surging Gauff, Swiatek, and Pegula; the absolute state of the men’s draw without Jannik and with a questionable Alcaraz; and those poised for huge breakthroughs if things shake out right (Fils? Eala?). We discuss the wild card snub and later non-snub of Stan Wawrinka. Later, some reflections on the mixed doubles exhibition – fun ‘til it wasn’t – and the joy of seeing Muchova and Mensik win and the extroversion twins Carlos and Serena hang out together.     1:30 Coco & Arthur take Cincinnati 7:50 The race for #1 and other WTA storylines  10:35 Women’s draw 24:05 Wild cards are not meritocratic (and they’re not supposed to be) 30:10 Men’s draw: Carlos is back, Jannik is not 42:05 The mixed doubles exhibition 51:10 The Roger Federer Laser Light Show 54:30 Remembering Dolly Parton

Bring back the US Open Series! The summer hard court swing continues on its confusing cadence. We spent a few nights at the National Bank Open in Toronto – James unwittingly sat in Iga Swiatek Country and witnessed her return to form (ok, I’ve already said too much). The other biggest stories in tennis these days are: Alex Eala, Rafa Jodar, injuries, and the innumerable opinions on the Williams sisters. Should Venus ******? Should Serena take that wild card? I don’t know man, I’m just trying to enjoy the waning days of summer <sob>. Finally, Nick Kyrgios got ahead of the story and announced that he’d tested positive for cocaine in Mallorca, which is a substance of abuse under WADA guidelines. This means if it’s in-competition: very very bad; out of competition: meh. 1:10 Our visit to the Canadian Open in Toronto 9:05 A few more ball kid photoshoots should do the trick 12:25 Jannik out, Carlos in as injuries derail the North American hot boy summer 18:45 Was the Serena comeback always a lark and we all just took it too seriously? 24:20 Checking in on Cincinnati 29:05 Kyrgios and cocaine: looking for empathy, not always finding it 45:00 Funny like I’m a clown? Like I amuse you? 47:10 Kingston, Jamaica has a Challenger event!

We're clocking back in for August, the month of two bloated Masters 1000 events; Eala-mania hits DC and Toronto while Montreal is rocked by high-profile withdrawals and general floppery. Next, we break down the full decision on Marketa Vondrousova’s refusal case, and let's just say she didn't give her lawyers much to work with. Let's not even mention the infamous text (we will). Next, we look at the fallout of the WTA gender testing announcement, then finish up with a day that will live in infamy: corn rows and fishnets and a demonic photoshoot, oh my.  3:40 We're in Toronto, but also not 16:15 Eala-mania in DC, plus Los Cabos & Memphis 28:10 Breaking down the Vondrousova decision so you don't have to read it (unless you’re an enthusiast like me)  39:55 Not the Italian Greyhound catching strays 47:45 Checking back in on the WTA gender testing fallout 60:35 A cursed trifecta

The WTA recently announced that it will require all athletes who wish to compete to undergo a genetic cheek swab test to “prove” they are indeed a woman. This follows the IOC’s policy announcement from earlier this year, which itself followed a Trump executive order ahead of the 2028 Olympics. It exists within the larger context of anti-trans legislation and the inescapable language of “protection.” We spend the first half of the episode trying to understand the policy and what has prompted it; the historic context; the broader movement to bar trans women from women’s sport and, in some cases, to delegitimize trans identity altogether; and what the current science tells us. Later, we attempt to decipher the barely-followable PTPA infighting and who’s fighting for what. We also touch on some tennis results, wedding season, a doping story and a match fixing story, and finally the recently announced US Open mixed doubles pairings. 02:00 The WTA’s newest “Women’s Eligibility Policy” 08:45 What happens when someone’s gender becomes a matter of public speculation 24:30 What the current science tells us 31:00 Will the real PTPA please stand up? 39:10 A lesbian wedding! 46:05 Facundo Bagnis: before he speaks his vitamins bespoke 50:25 Speeding through recent results 56:25 US Open mixed doubles teams: subject to change (hopefully)  

Linda Noskova is your Wimbledon champion, the 3rd Czech woman in 4 years! Her imposing power, resilience, and capable hands pushed her past Karolina Muchova, who managed to save 5 championship points in the second set but couldn’t stem the tide. Jannik Sinner defends his title, rarely summoning his best but doing enough to beat an inspired That Guy and prevent what would have been a cursed and vexatious Channel Slam. In doubles, Patten takes aim at the ATP in his victory speech, Ostapenko gets blamed for something she didn’t do (for once), and Guo/Mladenovic knock out the top seeds and eventually win the title. We also chat about Czech tennis history and the everlasting effort to identify why they’re so good, plus the decades-long saga of the All England Club’s plans to expand its site and what still stands in the way.  0:40 Linda Noskova wins Wimbledon at 21 7:45 My ex-friend 10:15 Other notes from women’s second week: Gauff-Muchova and more 16:55 What’s the deal with Czech tennis? 23:00 Jannik Sinner averts disaster, but the Monster has already been created 34:35 What’s next for Novak? 38:35 Henry Patten takes on the ATP + other doubles results 44:45 Wimbledon expansion: locals say Not On My Church Road

Checking in as we face week two of Wimbledon: 6 of the top 8 women are out, including the #1 and last year’s finalists, but we’re left with a surging Coco Gauff, a Linda Noskova ready to break out (again), a healthy Karolina Muchova, and a Naomi Osaka who’s trying to shed the hard court specialist mantle. On the men’s side, Sinner and Djokovic are on a crash course, our faves Felix and Alejandro are beefing (hopefully briefly), and Grisha breaks our hearts. We spend some time on Serena’s comeback, which has, predictably, opened old wounds and reawakened old trolls. Overall, what do we make of her performance, and what do we hope for her presumed next stop? Spare a thought for Auntie Venus, who just wants to play some doubles. 2:05 The quarterfinal match-ups 7:25 Grass is an outlier 13:50 Notes on the women’s draw: Naomi stuns Aryna 22:30 Coco wins under the buzzer 28:30 Serena’s comeback 42:00 Men’s tournament: don’t trust the Sinner flop allegations; a “pretty match” 48:40 Our faves were fighting 54:50 Zeynep Sonmez’s loophole 58:10 Player protest starts then stops 

The 2026 Wimbledon tournament kicks off Monday, and along with it comes the disorienting experience of seeing the name Serena Williams in a singles draw again. Expectations are all over the place as she opens against the Australian Maya Joint. More broadly, the women’s draw is anyone’s guess, as the top players come in with less than optimal preparation but plenty of experience. On the men’s side, former world #4 Jack Draper breaks out of the injury asylum only to see Taylor Fritz in the first round. Sinner looks to be the prohibitive favorite with a very small second tier – Djokovic, Fritz, Shelton, and? – fighting for a shot.    1:45 This week’s results: Draper is back, Naomi in her first grass final  5:15 Notable qualifiers and not-qualifiers  7:30 Women’s draw: “tough draws” fall apart all the time (solace for Iga fans?) 23:05 Men’s draw: Sinnerstan   39:15 The most random et ceteras and one big lie

Grass season is about halfway done, and I don’t know what’s going on with the WTA (wishing them luck). Big results for Noskova – who just debuted in the top 10 – plus Robin Montgomery, Ben Shelton, Donna Vekic, and the Frans! The news that Serena Williams received the remaining Wimbledon singles wild card trumped everything this week, while her husband hung out at Trump’s UFC abomination. Recent Wimbledon champ Marketa Vondrousova was given a 4-year suspension for refusing a doping test in December, a decision that will almost certainly be appealed. Lastly, we give some final thoughts on the Knicks and go down the Stevie rabbit hole again. 1:00 Yep, that singles wild card was for #thismama  14:10 Berlin bagel + it was a good week to be a Fran 24:30 Previous week’s results: s-’Hertogenbosch, Stuttgart, Queen’s 27:30 Diving into Marketa Vondrousova’s 4-year suspension  36:30 Alexis, your presence wasn’t actually required 40:50 Corentin Moutet gives up his prize money for what, exactly? 43:00 Catching up with the Knicks and Victor Wembanyama  48:20 Remembering Peabo and igniting the Stevie discussion again

It’s been impossible to keep up with tennis news lately, with Serena’s return, the grass season starting, and the top players continuing to pressure the Slams on prize money and consultation. We had too much on our Roland Garros wrap agenda, so here’s the twin to episode 425. We talk about Serena’s long-simmering “comeback,” the product tie-ins with Ro and Zepbound, and her successful doubles match with Canadian star Victoria Mboko. We also check in with the ongoing player response to prize money increases (as a proportion of tournament revenue) and what could come next. Finally, we give our unorganized thoughts on the Rafa doc, check in with a kind Reddit user, and give you a Knicks segment that is now -- thankfully -- a time capsule of life before Jalen Brunson was an MVP and NBA champion! 1:30 The "wildfire" … was warranted  11:30 Serena and Vicky ace their first (and only) test 23:10 Is this comeback meant to be a proof of concept for GLP-1 use? 33:10 Wimbledon prize money -- will the increase be enough for “Project Red Eye?” 40:00 Netflix’s Rafa documentary was a somewhat harrowing experience 49:30 Admitting I was wrong is important! 52:40 A quick Knicks segment (now a time capsule)