Excuses v. Explanations (Pod #665)

Finding a balance between taking responsibility for our lives and taking too much responsibility for what is going on is a tricky matter. Taking too much responsibility may seem like a silly notion, but it can happen in many ways. One of these ways is when we refuse to allow ourselves grace or forgiveness. We recognize that we have made a mistake and then, whether consciously or unconsciously, we decide that we are not allowed to get past it. As part of our penance we beat ourselves up, thinking it will lead to us making better choices in the future. When we think about the context of the mistake we think, "That is just an excuse. I should have done better!" It is possible for us to know that we could have done better AND to recognize the context at the same time. We aren't making an excuse when we do this, but we are giving an explanation. In this week's podcast, I explore the difference between excuses and explanations. Understanding the key difference between the two will help to find a path that includes both taking responsibility and offering ourselves grace. Not understanding the difference will keep us stuck. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support   Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube  

One of the ideas that really makes my clients bristle is the possibility that their self-sabotaging behaviors are guided by their system's well-meaning intention to keep them safe. They question, "How is it possible that my subconscious mind thinks it is trying to keep me safe when all it is doing is making my life harder?" That is a great question because it feels counterintuitive that our desire to be safe is actually holding back our progress. This week in the podcast, we explore why the subconscious mind gets in the way in trying to keep us safe AND the first step to overcoming this common issue. I believe that this is one of the most important concepts in all of tapping and if you aren't doing it, you are slowing your progress and also limiting your tapping results. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support [player] Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube  

For some issues, tracking progress is simple. I can tell if my desk is less cluttered, if I can lift more weight while working out, or if I am making more sales in my business. That is because these examples are measured in hard metrics, or in other words, cold, hard numbers. Changes that are measured in soft metrics are more difficult to track. For example, it is much harder to quantify growth in my self-esteem or confidence. Much of the transformation we are trying to achieve with tapping is measured in soft metrics. Because it is hard to measure, it can escape our notice and therefore is more likely to be missed. And that results in us thinking that change isn't happening at all, because we don't see it. This can undermine our healing and can demotivate us from tapping more. In this week's podcast, we explore three simple ways we can more accurately track soft metrics and recognize our progress. In turn, this leads to more tapping, which (most importantly) results in more healing and transformation. This understanding changed the way I tapped forever because it means I am tapping more, leading to more transformation. I believe these three measures are something every tapper should have in their transformational tool box. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support   Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube  

One of our biggest struggles in creating transformation and change in our lives is those moments where we know WHAT to do, we know HOW to do it, and we know WHY it is valuable to take an action…and yet we just don't. It is obvious what the next step is and for some reason we don't take it. Then, as a bonus, we beat ourselves up for not taking action. So as well as not moving forward, we feel bad for letting ourselves down. This week in the podcast we explore where this resistance comes from, how to overcome it and (just as importantly) we will tap for all the emotions that come up when we let ourselves down. If you are trying to create change in your life, then you must listen to this episode. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube

One of Marianne Williamson's most cited quotes starts "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." It is quoted so often because of how deeply it resonates, speaking directly to the contradiction that is part of our lived human experience. On one hand we want to live an authentic and rich life…on the other hand, our subconscious mind just wants us to be safe. This desire to be safe keeps us small because if we are small, then we aren't seen, and if we aren't seen, then we are safe. This week in the podcast, we explore the three biggest subconscious fears that keep us small and we do lots of tapping to clear those resistances. Description Libsyn & Wordpress Body: Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio  

Letting ourselves down is one of the deepest betrayals that we humans can experience. It feels like such a harsh gut punch when it is something we know we should have been able to do. After we let ourselves down in such a powerful way, our subconscious will do everything in its power, through resistance to take action so as to keep us safe. It reasons that since it was so painful to let ourselves down, the way to avoid that pain in the future is simply not to commit to something better. Intellectually we know this is a bad plan, but the resistance will persist, trying (and often succeeding) to hold us back. This week in the podcast we look at why we created this resistance, how to overcome it in the moment, and how to avoid it in the future. If you are serious about healing and transformation, clearing the resistance to making commitments to yourself is essential. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube

The words change and improve are very close in meaning. While both are associated with transformation, they do not mean exactly the same thing. Improvement is about keeping something but doing it in a better way; change is about doing something in a new way. In the transformational arena we long for change, but in doing this we sometimes diminish the value of improvement. This week in the podcast, I explore the difference between these two ideas, when we should seek to improve or to change, and how best to bring these goals to our tapping practice. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube

Not all stress is created equal. There are those hyper stressful times, like driving on icy roads in a snowstorm at rush hour. It is super intense in the moment and then when it ends, it is over! Then there is the low-grade stress of something that is taking a long time and is hanging over your head. The example I think of from my own life is doing my business taxes. I'm not especially good at doing my taxes because I only look at the task once a year; it is also a big deal and if I make a mistake, there can be major consequences. This is a stress that is ever-present and feels oppressive, but is not all-consuming. It also doesn't last forever because at some point my taxes will be filed and I will be able to move on…until the next year! Finally, there is the type of stress that never seems to end. When thinking about this type of stress, I think about a postal worker sorting mail. No matter how hard they work, there will always be more mail coming down the conveyor belt for them to sort. There is the pressure of needing to get their task done quickly, because more mail is coming, AND there is the stress of there being no end in sight. Of the three types of stress listed above, the third is by far the hardest to tap for. This week in the podcast, I share with you how I tap for issues (not just stress) that will always be there. It works for stress, feeling overwhelmed, and persistent physical issues, to name just a few common issues. Because straightforward tapping doesn't work well for this type of stress, we are unlikely to tap for these issues because it feels fruitless. The simple process I share in this week's podcast is one you must know. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTube  

One of the most consistent struggles my clients have is coming up with the "right" words. The problem is there is no such thing as the right words when it comes to tapping. Instead there are useful words and unuseful words. I am consistently surprised at some of the types of words that end up being useful. One such type of surprising words is when we are tapping on phrases that we intellectually know not to be true. When I ask my clients to tap on phrases that they know aren't true this is natural resistance. One on level it doesn't feel logical and on another there can be the fear that we are tapping in something bad or untrue. This week in the podcast I explore the power of tapping on phrases that we know intellectually are untrue and how to get the most out of doing exactly that. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio

Grief is unlike all other emotions when it comes to tapping. Every other negative emotion is something we can step out of. I can stop feeling angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Grief on the other hand is something that we are going to feel forever. Twenty years after a loved one has died we are still going to feel pangs of grief. Instead of leaving grief, we have an evolving relationship to it and how we live with it. Because this is the case it requires a different approach when we are tapping. This week in the podcast I explore the unique nature of grief and how you can use tapping to heal our relationship to it. Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio