325: Xmas Special - When the Ham Man Brings the Ham

Oh God. Time for some loud swearing, heavy drinking, and ludicrous conversations about nothing of any note - it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Special! This year we have an argument about bodily fluids, and Steve shares his novel alternative to having a vasectomy. We talk about our favourite and least favourite shows of the year. There's a world exclusive book announcement, and Ellie reveals a secret she's been keeping from Jessie since August. Of course, it wouldn't be Christmas without our stupid traditions - Linda Chat, gifts no one wants, and we find out if Jessie has a new job. Then it's time for the most controversial Ham Review of all time. Here's the recipe that won this year (or did it?): @gidsgidsWe finish with a bumper crop of Scummy Mummy Confessions, and share our hopes and dreams for 2026. Thank you so much for listening, especially if you're one of those people who's listened to these nonsensical Christmas specials for over a decade now. This one's for you. Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year! Love E&H x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Vasectomies, pornography, dick jokes and poo logistics - we cover it all with the help of hilarious comedian and actor, Sam Pamphilon! Sam tells us all about what it was like to have the snip, in graphic detail. We hear about the brilliant short film he recently starred in - The Man That I Wave At. And we discuss the sketch we tried out that was so filthy it never made it into the main Scummy Mummies show. Of course we finish with some confessions, involving language barriers, removal men, and a big old Dad Fail. IT'S TIIIIME! This week's shows in Chipping Norton are SOLD OUT. But you can come and see us in Chelmsford, Guildford, or Norwich. And we're touring our Hot Mess show throughout 2026 - go to scummymummies.com for dates and links. Tickets make great Christmas gifts, and if you email us [email protected], we'll do a personalised video message for the recipient! WE HAVE A SHOP! Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, and sweatshirts. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do people have affairs? What effect does it have on kids? How do you learn to love again after your partner has cheated? Answering all these questions is the brilliant psychotherapist Juliet Rosenfeld! She tells us all about her fascinating book, Affairs: True Stories of Love, Lies, Hope and Desire. We discuss what is going on in the minds of cheaters and what it's got to do with childhood. We also dig deep into topics such as polyamory, BDSM, and whether a relationship can be resurrected after an affair.As is the custom, we end with some Scummy Mummy Confessions, this time involving a puffy coat and some Marks and Spencer party food. Juliet's book is out now. You can follow her on the old Instagram @julietrosenfeldpsychoanalyst.IT'S TIIIIME! Our Christmas tour kicks off next week! Maidenhead and Chipping Norton are SOLD OUT. But you can come and see us in Chelmsford, Guildford, or Norwich. And we're touring our Hot Mess show throughout 2026 - go to scummymummies.com for dates and tickets. Tickets make great Christmas gifts, and if you email us [email protected], we'll do a personalised video message for the recipient! WE HAVE A SHOP! Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, and sweatshirts. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine taking up athletics in your forties, discovering you're great at the triple jump, and going on to set a brand new record. That's what Emily Murray (aka @pinkhouseliving) did - and she's here to tell us all about it. We learn about the Masters Athletics Federation, and how they offer people of all ages the chance to compete for actual medals. We discuss the pros and cons of being a super competitive person, and Emily explains how her perspective on winning has changed over the years. There's also some chat about writing novels, the new Lily Allen album, and whether King Charles is really that much better than the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew. Of course, we finish up with some Scummy Mummy Confessions - this time involving lube, shouting, and a drunken trip to Sainsbury's. Follow Emily on Instagram @pinkhouseliving, and look out for her novel in 2027. WE ARE ON TOUR! Bath this week, then Stamford, Catford, Twickenham, Chelmsford, Guildford, Norwich, plus a bunch more shows that are already SOLD OUT! We are touring right through 2026 and tickets make great xmas gifts, starting at 25 quid a pop. Go to scummymummies.com for dates and links. WE HAVE A SHOP! Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, and sweatshirts. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you get teens to talk to you? Why do they need to sleep so much? And where the hell are they putting all that food? Helping us to answer all these questions is author Nicole Howes! She tells us all about her new book, Not a Survival Guide. We talk about the highs and lows of having teenage kids, and share our top tips for getting through. Nicole reveals why it's important to manage our expectations, and suggests some ways we can make things easier on ourselves, and our teens. As always, we share some Scummy Mummy Confessions - this time involving shaving, a leaking swim nappy, and a smoking food processor. Plus: how does Ellie keep spoiling Love is Blind for Helen using just her eyebrows?You can follow Nicole on Instagram @bynicolehowes.Huge thanks to everyone who's already been to see our Hot Mess show . We're touring right through this year and next - Canterbury and Wimborne this week, then in November we're coming to Bath, Stamford, Leatherhead, Catford and Twickenham.Our Christmas tour kicks off on 26 November in Maidenhead, followed by Chelmsford, Chipping Norton, Guildford and Norwich. Many nights are already SOLD OUT so get your tickets now! And of course we're touring throughout 2026... Tickets make excellent Christmas gifts! Send us an Instagram DM and we'll happily do a quick video telling the recipient about their present! All dates and tickets via scummymummies.com.*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Time for a cup of tea and a catch up as we share all the big stuff that's been happening lately. Helen talks about what it was like to run the Sydney marathon, and shares an unimpressive celebrity anecdote. Ellie discusses her partial knee replacement, and the thing she did in the hospital that made a nurse go "Oh my God." We round off with some fantastic Scummy Mummy Confessions, harvested from our live show. Midwife mixups, redundancy revenge plots, women shaving each others' "fairies" - listen in for stories so funny you couldn't make them up. Huge thanks to everyone who's already been to see our Hot Mess show . We're touring right through this year and next - this month it's Maidenhead, Potters Bar, Tonbridge, Tewkesbury, Canterbury, Wimborne... Then it's our huge homecoming gig in Catford on 14 November, plus lots of other shows all round the country. For dates and tickets go to scummymummies.comPS Sorry to mention the C word, but tickets for our Christmas shows are on sale too... Maidenhead, Chelmsford, Chipping Norton, Guildford and Norwich... They're selling fast so get your tickets now if you fancy a festive mums' night out! *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is leopard print the new Breton top? What should you wear if you want to avoid "Mum Bum"? And what is the one thing you should always bring to a festival? Answering these questions is the amazing Zoe de Pass, aka Dress Like a Mum! We interviewed Zoe live on stage at this year's Big Feastival. As she's a style icon we chatted about fashion, of course, and invited her to pass judgment on some of our favourite outfits past and present. We also talked about the brilliant ski trips Zoe runs and shared some amazing stories involving incontinence, nudity, and infidelity. And that's before we even got to the Scummy Mummy Confessions - tune in to hear some of the terrible tales our audience revealed at our Feastival show, and a few of our own. Follow Zoe @dresslikeamum. Her excellent sunglasses are available from zoedepass.com. This January's Women Who Ski is open for bookings and March will be launching in December - head to kalumaski.com for more info.Big thanks to Peter Lee from redheadav.com for recording the podcast for us. **TOUR TIME!** Yes we are hitting the road again this month with our new for 2025 show, HOT MESS! This week it's Exeter, Redruth, Basingstoke, and Bishop's Stortford. In October we're coming to Tenbury Wells, Leamington Spa, Maidenhead, Potters Bar, Tonbridge, Tewkesbury, Canterbury, Wimborne... Then it's our huge homecoming gig in Catford on 14 November, plus lots of other shows all round the country. For dates and tickets go to scummymummies.comPS Sorry to mention the C word, but tickets for our Christmas shows are on sale too... Maidenhead, Chelmsford, Chipping Norton, Guildford and Norwich... They're selling fast so get your tickets now if you fancy a festive mums' night out! *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our guest for this episode is the awesome author Julia Raeside. She tells us about her brilliant and very funny book about women taking on toxic men in comedy, Don't Make Me Laugh.We discuss why so many comedians turn out to be dreadful, and how working together is the key to effecting change. Julia talks about the reactions her book has had so far and why it seems to be resonating with so many people. There's also a bit of chat about the writing process - why is it so difficult? What should you do when you feel like packing it in? And which is harder, writing a book or running a marathon? Julia helps us try to answer these questions, and shares her top tip for getting your first draft finished. We round off with some classic Scummy Mummy Confessions involving McDonald's, cat diarrhoea, and lying to children about sex.Julia's book is out now in paperback and you can follow her on Instagram @juliaraesidewriter.**AUTUMN TOUR TIME!** Yes we are hitting the road again this month with our new for 2025 show, HOT MESS! September is Loughborough, Tonbridge, Exeter, Redruth, Basingstoke, and Bishop's Stortford. In October we're coming to Tenbury Wells, Leamington Spa, Maidenhead, Potters Bar, Tonbridge yes again, Tewkesbury, Canterbury, Wimborne... Then it's our huge homecoming gig in Catford on 14 November, plus lots of other shows all round the country. For dates and tickets go to scummymummies.com*WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode comes to you live from a Premier Inn room in Stevenage. That's showbusiness! Our guest is Steve Hill, sports writer, roadie, and miserable but funny man. We talk about his last decade driving for the Scummy Mummies, and how he's managed to finagle his way onto the stage. Listen in to discover what we fight about in the van, which curry Steve always orders, and how Ellie finds such nice pubs for lunch. Plus there's some incredibly lowbrow toilet humour and a debate about whether we'd have it off with Keir Starmer. So all in all it's a bit of a silly summer episode as we take a break for the holidays. But we'll be back in autumn with new guests, and of course more shows - come and see us LIVE in Loughborough, Tonbridge, Exeter, Redruth, Bishop's Stortford, Tenbury Wells, Leamington Spa, Maidenhead, Potters Bar, Tewkesbury, Canterbury, Wimborne... For loads more dates and tickets, go to scummymummies.com. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on X, Instagram, and Facebook @scummymummies. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's the best way to dispose of a sex toy? Do cats have nails? And is it wrong to take a piss in your cheating husband's bathwater? Nobody is asking these questions, but we attempt to answer them anyway in this special episode! As we take a break from gigging for the summer, we reflect on the opening leg of our Hot Mess tour, and share some of our favourite confessions from those first 43 shows. Tune in to hear tale of what one naughty toddler did with some Rice Krispies, how one woman ended up with tits that smell like Big Macs, and a top tip for managing screen time that involves Russia. Plus: we discuss the confessions that are too scummy to read out...An amazing FIFTEEN THOUSAND PEOPLE have already been to see Hot Mess. Thank you so much to everyone who's come along and shared confessions. If you've been to the show and enjoyed it, please tell your friends! And/or, bring them along to the next one! We start gigging again in the autumn, then it's our Christmas tour, and we have shows booked in right the way up to 2027... New dates are announced all the time, so keep an eye on scummymummies.com for tickets.A huge thank you to all our podcast listeners - especially the ones who have been with us for the last 12 years, through all three hundred and something episodes. We never thought we'd last this long, but here we are, and we love it, so we're going to keep going. We are so grateful for your support. Until next time, thank you for listening! E&H xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.