episode one hundred & twelve: Don't piss off your narrators

The crew are tramping aimlessly across the blistering and occasionally freezing surface of Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, otherwise known as "Bob") and things are pretty grim. Like, not even Brothers Grimm, more Quintuplets Grimm, plus a few singles and a couple sets of Twins Grimm. Just very very grim. I mean, they might survive, but even if they do, they're going to smell really bad, and does anyone need that right now? You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Mark Restuccia as C4 from the Best in Galaxy podcast David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae and Tiberius Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Eric Perry as Joe, Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Mr. Southers, and Howard Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Shannon Perry is Captain Madeline and Olivia Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle. Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott.  Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Big thanks to Mark Restuccia for C4ing C4's lines. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Find out more about 10 Apocalypses and Citeog Podcasts here: https://www.citeogpodcasts.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been invited to a party you really REALLY didn't want to go to? Like, you won't know very many people, you're not sure how to dress for it, and the atmosphere is toxic? But you're being frog-marched by an army of ants onto an away ship, so you don't really have a choice, and you're sure the chances of getting anything decent to eat are hovering at slightly below zero? Yeah, well, welcome to our world. Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, or, affectionately, "Bob") awaits our bedraggled little crew, and it looks like this particularly party is going to be their last. You’ve been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Eric Perry as Joe, Dr von Haber Zetzer and Mr Southers Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Pete Barry as Bob David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae and Tiberius Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott.  Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at FableandFolly.com and support our sponsors.  Until next time, Space Monkeys, remember this very VERY important lesson: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brought to you by the team that brought you Wolf 359, you know it's going to be good. Faith Adler has crossed the country to spend the summer in NYC. There she meets David, and the two of them quickly get mired in ... something. It's complicated. Together with friends Tori, Matt, and Ginah, Faith and David navigate situationships, friendships, found family, and all the messiness of being young. Faith is a DJ, and that pretty much describes how she approaches life — willing to scratch, skip, mute, sample, and even reverse until things start to make some sort of sense. If you love Community, High Fidelity, and Fleabag, this show definitely has your name on it. Listen to the Director's Intro with Gabriel Urbina, then head over to Audible for the full listen. You're gonna love it! You can find it at www.hitsingles.show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'M SORRY, WHAT? HANG ON, LET ME GET TO A QUIETER PLACE, JUST A SECOND.... Phew. That's better. Things have gone bananarama aboard the Oz 9, and the crew has spent the last few hours trying not to get dysentery or squashed crossing a digital freeway. A few folks are hanging out in Meanwhile, which is basically a Narrators' Neverland with a few extra lost boys, and someone keeps trying to stick a fish in my ear. You're welcome to join the fracas, if you really want to, but wear a helmet and avoid Wiggy. He's an asshole. You’ve been listening to: Pete Barry as Bob Tim Sherburn as Colin Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Kevin Hall as Greg Eric Perry as Joe Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle  Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fable and folly dot com and support our sponsors.  Until next time, Space Monkeys, try to have a happy childhood, because you never know when you might have to relive it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To everyone who responded to our blurb writer last time, they've been sacked. I mean ... does this look like message-in-a-bottle time? Using our show notes to get attention and complain about your job.... Seriously, we've no time for whingers 'round here- HA! April fool. Still me. It was lovely seeing some of you on the socials. I'd print out your comments, only I don't have a printer and the walls are too damp to post things on. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it's "spring" on the Oz 9, which means the bioswamp is in full flower and the mating calls of the egrets is deafening. The flowers and general greenness are pretty, but the giant spiders have taken to spinning themselves ear muffs to reduce the noise. All right for some, I guess. Anyway, hope it's pretty where you are. You've been listening to: Kevin Hall as Greg Tim Sherburn as Colin Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer and Joe Pete Barry as (yuck) Bob Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae and Tiberius Shannon Perry as Madeline and (mumble) Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Kyle Jones as your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Sarah Golding is our incredible dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND in this hella episode as our sound designer. Our music is the brainchild of John Faley, and poor artist Lucas Elliott just can't quite get free of us. Until next time, Space Monkeys, stay well, and send earplugs and a towel? I have no idea where my towel is.... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you haven't yet discovered the podcast How I Died, you are in for a treat! A ghoulish, scary, maybe-listen-with-a-friend "treat," but yeah, a treat nonetheless! How I Died follows the story of forensic pathologist (NOT coroner) Jon Spacer. New to the oddly fatal place to live, Springfield, Dr. Spacer has an interesting super power: he can talk with the dead. Actually, that's not that impressive, hell, I can talk to the dead, but his super power is that when they talk back, he can hear them. So maybe that's the super power: he can hear the dead. OK, I'm getting a little sidetracked. Anyway, it's a great show — annoyingly well written, fabulously acted, with intense and immersive sound design, so stick it in your ears. You can find it here https://pod.link/1450764373 and in all the usual places. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once upon a time, there was a blurb writer who dreamed of the back of book jackets or maybe even the inside front flap, or the little bit of copy under the picture in a catalog, or a word or two like "stunning!" or "ribald!" on a film poster, oooo ooooo, maybe even on the inside first few pages of a novel, somewhere just under Kirkus Reviews.... But no. Instead that blurb writer does...this. Gives hints on a podcast episode you're planning to listen to anyway so you probably don't even read it. But here we are. You don't know this, but I'm also the https://bsky.app/profile/oz9podcast.bsky.social attendant. Didn't expect that, huh? Did ya? So if you read this, drop me a note on Bluesky? So I know someone out there did? Hellllllloooooooooooo.....? You’ve been listening to:  Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Tim Sherburn as Colin Kevin Hall as Felonius and Greg Mark Restuccia as C4 from Best in Galaxy Eric Perry as Joe and Mr Southers David S Dear as Tiberius Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Pete Barry as Bob  Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Also, don't forget we have a Patreon account, should you ever wish to drop some coins into our bucket. Just... mind the mime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oooof, who cranked up the gravity? Feels heavy in here.... It's spring in the bioswamp, as much as it can ever be "spring" in space. Things are flowering, other things are ... I dunno, fauna-ing? Whatever the case, it's a bit rude round there, so maybe don't take the kids in for another month or so. And NO, I am not tearing up, I'm in the bioswamp in spring, these are allergies, for crying out loud. Or NOT crying out loud, more crying inwardly, little hiccups of despair- Oh, forget it. You've been listening to: Pete Barry as Bob Ersat Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Eric Perry as Joe and Dr von Haber Zetzer Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Kevin Hall as Greg Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Tim Sherburn as Colin Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a Wednesday eve as I write this, and as I look out the porthole into the infinite recesses of space, I'm reminded how very small each of us is against the backdrop of eternity. Given how very very minute we are and how eternal space is, I have to wonder, how the actual f^&* is a crew member from the Oz 14 floating past my porthole just as I look out? I mean... what are the chances?! Nearly spilled my vodka tonic. Rude. You’ve been listening to... Pete Barry as Bob Tim Sherburn as Colin Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. von Haber Zetzer Kevin Hall as Greg Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.  Whatever it is you wish for when you wish upon a star, may it show up on your doorstep when you least expect it and most need it. And may it stay exactly the right number of days before leaving, having cleaned up after itself, put its sheets in the washing machine, and left a lovely hostess gift on the dining room table. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Space Monkeys. Have you ever wondered what happened to the earth Oz 9 left behind? I mean, I’m not saying we CAUSED the zombie apocalypse, but the math works out. (Sorry, Sweden) 150 years ago, the zombie apocalypse apocalypted all over the globe, and now there’s robots and zombies trying to wipe out what’s left of humanity. Cali, a settlement scout, has big dreams but scarce resources who’s just trying to stay alive, and Hannah, well, she’s trapped in her zombie body, hoping not to eat anyone she actually cares about. Hannahpocalypse is a darkly funny story about love, fear, survival, and self-reliance while also being the podcast most likely to answer the question, do human beings really taste like chicken? It’s a love story with sweet characters and queer crushes and the awkwardness that comes with having to communicate your affection while trying not to sprinkle your loved one with oregano. (zombie pro tip: seasoning is a total giveaway) But don’t worry — Hannahpocalypse is Hopepunk at its heart, and you’ll come away feeling lighter and easier about the coming end times.  Season two is nearly complete, so now’s a great time to binge your way through it all on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.  On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fbFOgMYq2oqOYHDfqIuYX?si=4698311878144cb2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices