90. Doing Everything for God and Still Feeling Far From Him | Jeanine Amapola Ward

Have you ever lain awake wondering, "What if I die before I've confessed everything?" You're not alone, and that's one of the questions I'm tackling in this solo Q&A episode.I gave all of your submitted questions to Claude and let it pick seven. I hadn't seen them before I hit record, so you get my honest, unfiltered answers in real time. We go from light to heavy fast.We talk about:• The hardest part of writing a book that nobody warns you about• How to find a mentor (and why you should never ask someone to "mentor" you)• The dating advice I'd give my single self• What I've had to unlearn from how I was raised• How to stop spiraling as a parent when God doesn't intervene the way you want• Whether you can lose your salvation if you die before you repentPlus, a challenge for the last eight weeks of 2026: one thing to finally get done, and one word to guide you.Got a question for a future Q&A? DM me on Instagram @hannaeseymour or email [email protected] Mentioned• The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas: https://link.amazon/B05c0Si3l• Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas: https://link.amazon/B07HQCgMp• Episode 75: Answering YOUR Questions (my first Q&A)• Scripture: Romans 6:23, Romans 1:16, John 3:16, Romans 10:9–10, 1 John 1:9, Galatians 5:1, Philippians 1:6, Romans 8:28, Psalm 112Connect with Me• Instagram: @hannaeseymour• Website: https://hannaseymour.com• The Weekly One (my Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one• Everyday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/

Have you ever been reading your Bible, showing up at church, and saying yes to every chance to serve, and still felt far from God? Maybe you've looked at someone else's quiet time and thought, I'm just not doing enough. Jeanine Amapola Ward knows that feeling well. Jeanine has been creating online since she was a teenager filming YouTube videos in her bedroom, and she's honest about how easily faith can slide into performance when you're used to people watching. Today is launch day for her new book, The Abiding Way, a 40-day devotional through the Gospel of John. We talk about the season she realized she was doing a lot for God without simply being with Him, why we both relate to Martha (and why Martha doesn't deserve all the shame), what abiding looks like on an ordinary Tuesday when an hour of silence isn't happening, and one small step for anyone who feels burned out or spiritually dry. Connect with Jeanine: • The Abiding Way: https://link.amazon/B00xaD31k • Becoming Happy and Healthy: https://jeanineamapola.com/becoming-happy-and-healthy-jeanine-amapola-book-1 • Happy and Healthy podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-healthy-with-jeanine-amapola/id1515971195 • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeanineamapola/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeanineAmapola • Website: https://jeanineamapola.com Connect with Me: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannaeseymour/ • Website: https://hannaseymour.com • The Weekly One (Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one • Everyday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/

Have you ever looked across the room at your husband and wondered when you two started feeling more like roommates than partners? If your marriage feels cold or distant right now, I want you to hear this: it’s a season, and seasons are meant to be passed through. This week I’m talking with licensed counselor Debra Fileta, who has spent over 20 years sitting with couples. Her newest book, Relationship Skills, walks through the four seasons every relationship moves through, and we spend most of our time in winter, the cold, distant one. We talk about why empty people make terrible partners (and what to do when you’re the empty one), the difference between selflessness, selfishness, and self-neglect, and how couples slowly drift apart without noticing. Debra also opens up about a hard winter in her own marriage and the simple weekly habit she and her husband still keep 15 years later. If you’re in a cold season, I hope you leave this conversation with some hope and one practical place to start. Resources Mentioned Relationship Skills by Debra Fileta: https://link.amazon/B075fNpD7Soul Care by Debra Fileta: https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/Marriage Check-In Guide: https://debrafileta.com/product/marriage-check-in-guide/Free Relationship Skills Quiz: https://debrafileta.com/relationship-skills-quiz/ Connect with Debra Website: https://debrafileta.com Instagram: @debrafiletaTalk To Me podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-to-me-the-debra-fileta-podcast/id1417804351Debra Fileta Counselors Network: https://debrafileta.com/counseling/ Connect with Me Instagram: @hannaeseymour Website: https://hannaseymour.com The Weekly One (my Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one Everyday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/

Do you ever feel like you're failing at your faith because your prayer life doesn't look like the version in your head? Like real women of prayer have a whole system figured out, and you're just whispering something quick while you're doing dishes? I sat down with Monica Ritchie, an on-air host at 98.5 KTIS in the Twin Cities who also hosts her own podcast, Theologically Fashioned. We talked about the guilt that creeps in around spiritual disciplines: wrestling honestly with hard questions instead of burying them, bringing anger and grief to God instead of stuffing it down, and how to tell when a practice you used to love has gone from life giving to just obligatory. Monica also shares her reframe on rest. It's not about doing nothing, it's about restoration, and what that's actually looked like for her in different seasons of life.If you've ever felt like you're doing your faith wrong, this one's for you.Monica's new book, Fashioned by Faith, goes even deeper into all of this if you want to keep going. Connect with Monica: Instagram: @itsmonicaritchie Podcast: Theologically Fashioned Book: Fashioned by Faith — https://link.amazon/B02cBulQr Connect with me: Instagram: @hannaeseymour Website: hannaseymour.com The Weekly One (my Monday email): hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one Everyday Spiritual Habits: everydayspiritualhabits.com

Be honest with yourself for a second. If your closest friends who don't follow Jesus were asked whether you're actually any different than they are, what would they say? That question is what cracked this whole episode open for me. I'm talking with Pastor Nirup Alphonse, founder of LIFEGATE Church in Denver and author of the new book Defiant Lights. We get into the difference between a faith built on convenience and one built on conviction, what it actually means that Jesus calls us the light of the world, and why offense and joy can't grow in the same soil in us. Nirup is funny, he's honest about his own hypocrisy, and by the end of this one you might find yourself rethinking what your ordinary, everyday life is actually saying about who you follow. Connect with Nirup Alphonse Defiant Lights (book): https://link.amazon/B0h7mxA3g Connect with Nirup: https://linktr.ee/PastorNirupAlphonse Connect with Me Instagram: @hannaeseymour Website: hannaseymour.com The Weekly One (my Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one Everyday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/

If you've ever wondered whether struggling with anxiety or depression means something's wrong with your faith, or you love someone in a dark season and don't know how to help, this conversation is for you. I'm talking with Hope Blanton, a licensed clinical social worker, and Christine Gordon, who has a master's in theological studies and teaches at Covenant Theological Seminary. They've each walked through their own seasons of anxiety and depression, and together they've written a book that refuses to pick a side between the spiritual and the clinical.We get into what it actually looks like to hold "God is good" and "my brain isn't functioning right now" at the same time, why so many Christians feel guilty for taking medication, and what the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 teaches us about how God cares for the whole person, body included. This one is honest, practical, and full of real hope.Their book, Hope for the Anxious and Depressed, releases September 29th.Connect with Hope and Christine:Website: https://www.athisfeetstudies.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/athisfeetstudies/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/athisfeetstudies/Book: https://link.amazon/B08hLQCyEConnect with me:Instagram: @hannaeseymourWebsite: hannaseymour.comThe Weekly One: https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-oneEveryday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/

Ever feel like you're just waiting around for someone to invest in you — waiting to be picked, waiting to be mentored, waiting for someone older and wiser to notice you need it? I sat down with Cheryl Marshall, who's spent over 25 years walking alongside women in the local church, and she flipped that whole idea on its head. We also spent real time in Romans 12, unpacking what it actually meant for a first-century Jewish believer to hear "present your body as a living sacrifice," and why that phrase is so much bigger — and harder — than we usually make it. This one covers discipleship, worship, and what it looks like to suffer well.Cheryl's new book, All of Me: Pursuing a Life Wholly Devoted to God, walks through Romans 12:1-2 in depth if you want to keep going after this episode.Connect with Cheryl:Website: cherylmarshall.comInstagram: @_cherylmarshallFacebook: CherylMarshallBooksPodcast: Whole-Life WorshipBook: All of Me — https://link.amazon/B08fl2gHlConnect with me:Instagram: @hannaeseymourWebsite: hannaseymour.comThe Weekly One (my Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one

Have you ever looked at your own kids and wondered who you just became? I sat down with Natalie Hixson, known online as the @angrymamacoach, to talk about mom rage, the kind so many of us carry in silence. Natalie is honest about the years she calls abusive, what finally broke the cycle, and the tools she still uses today, including her "sit and pray" reset.I also brought a stack of questions straight from you--so we get into real, specific moments: what to do when you're home alone and about to lose it, and how to recover with your kids after you've already said something you regret.If shame has ever crept in after a hard moment with your kids, I think you're going to feel so seen today.Connect with NatalieWebsite: nataliehixson.comInstagram: instagram.com/angrymamacoachFree Trigger Tracker: nataliehixson.com/free-triggers-trackerCoaching: nataliehixson.com/work-with-meHer new book, Lord, Why Did You Give Me These Children?! A Faith-Based Approach to Overcoming Mom Anger, is out now: https://amzn.to/3Tse9uBConnect with MeInstagram: instagram.com/hannaeseymourWebsite: hannaseymour.comSign up for The Weekly One, my Monday email: hannaseymour.comMy book: ⁠everydayspiritualhabits.com⁠

My friend Annie F. Downs joins me on the podcast for a conversation you'll want to sit with. We talk about comparison, holy ambition versus selfish ambition, and the "unmet desire" so many of us are quietly carrying instead of naming out loud. Annie shares what it's actually looked like to trust God through big dreams, five summers of surgery and heartache, and a marriage she didn't see coming until she was 46. If you've ever caught yourself waiting for "someday" before you start living, this one's for you.Connect with Annie F. DownsWebsite: anniefdowns.comInstagram: @anniefdownsPodcast: That Sounds FunBook: Don't Let That Hold You Back: https://amzn.to/4yeVGjYConnect with me:Website: hannaseymour.comInstagram: @hannaeseymourMy book: everydayspiritualhabits.comThe Weekly One (my free Monday email): hannaseymour.com

Ever hit a season so hard you couldn't even pray? Katie Kelley knows that place. Solo parenting six kids, one with severe autism, no words left except "Lord, have mercy."Katie's back on No Matter What a year after her first appearance, and her life looks completely different now. We talk about what actually gets you through when you can't pray a real prayer, how to look for light in a dark season, and why grace isn't soft, it's the grit that holds you up when you can't hold yourself up. Connect with Katie: Website: katiemkelley.com Instagram: @katiemblackburn Substack: katieblackburn.substack.com Book: Grace Will Be There: https://amzn.to/3UKECDV Connect with Me:Website: https://hannaseymour.com/Email: [email protected]: instagram.com/hannaeseymourBook: everydayspiritualhabits.com The Weekly One (my free Monday email): hannaseymour.com