How to help someone who doesn't want help

Allie Rowbottom, the author of Aesthetica, Jell-o Girls, and now Lovers XXX joins Alexi on Mentor Buffet to share about the mentorship she’s experienced from her husband, the writer Jon Lindsey, from her mom, who was constantly writing during Allie’s adolescence, and from her professors—who offered her reading lists that accelerated her toward her taste and style and set deadlines for her. One of her professors was the writer Maggie Nelson. Allie and Alexi also discuss rejection, the nature of the internet, and the benefits of getting in touch with the worst case scenario. Allie shares the books she reads to study her craft and also explores mentorship dynamics between the characters in both Aesthetica and Lovers XXX, explaining the importance of characters that steer the story in the direction of conflict and then learning or growth. It’s a lovely conversation between two writers. Order Allie's new book, Lovers XXX: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641297301?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback If recovery is something you know you should be taking more seriously, visit ⁠https://therabody.com⁠ and use the code MENTORBUFFET at checkout for 15% off one product of your choice. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Ready to upgrade your eyewear? Visit ⁠https://goodr.com/mentorbuffet⁠ to claim $10 off their first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexi answers listeners' advice questions about navigating long-distance relationships with your friends and family, giving advice to somebody who doesn't accept advice easily, and dealing with being more intense or ambitious than your friends. She also offers wisdom on how to deal with being constantly busy, because she's constantly busy right now. Add a comfy pair of Merrells to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nils Arend, the founder of The Speed Project, shares the story of designing his life, step by step, from the beginning. He traces the foundation of his principles from his adolescence in Germany to decades later founding and then exiting his successful advertising agency. He talks about the importance of setting ambitious goals but then detaching yourself from the outcome, how he avoids settling, why he loves America, and his running origin story, which leads to the foundation of The Speed Project—a 300 mile journey through the desert from Los Angeles to Las Vegas that Nils first completed in 2013 with Blue Benadum. There’s so much wisdom in this conversation about dreaming big and designing your own life. Here’s Alexi’s conversation with Nils Arend.  If recovery is something you know you should be taking more seriously, visit ⁠https://therabody.com⁠ and use the code MENTORBUFFET at checkout for 15% off one product of your choice. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Ready to upgrade your eyewear? Visit ⁠https://goodr.com/mentorbuffet⁠ to claim $10 off their first order. Visit https://GoBrewing.com/alexi50 for 50% first beer club subscription order with code ALEXI50. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexi answers listeners' advice questions about how to deal with being busy, how to be easier on yourself, and how to stay true to yourself in your creative expression. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexi answers listeners' advice questions about how to deal with being busy, how to be easier on yourself, and how to stay true to yourself in your creative expression. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Skolnick, the lifelong writer behind the David Goggins memoir Can’t Hurt Me, countless publications in the New York Times, and the recent novel American Tiger, joins host Alexi Pappas on Mentor Buffet to discuss how to recognize a calling, how to mold a career around the lifestyle you want, and overcoming doubt. Adam shares about his mentors Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love who he met by circumstance on a trip to Bali, and David Goggins. Adam also shares about the journey leading to the publication of his new new book American Tiger, which demonstrates that there is wildness running through us and that the world is more mysterious than we can consciously know. Adam also shares a story about a time a fortune teller correctly predicted a great success in his life.  If recovery is something you know you should be taking more seriously, visit ⁠https://therabody.com⁠ and use the code MENTORBUFFET at checkout for 15% off one product of your choice. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Ready to upgrade your eyewear? Visit ⁠https://goodr.com/mentorbuffet⁠ to claim $10 off their first order. Visit https://GoBrewing.com/alexi50 for 50% first beer club subscription order with code ALEXI50. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lisa Thompson, Alexi's marathon teammate who is blind, joins us on Mentor Buffet for a beautiful conversation about growing up with a visual impairment. And she shares wisdom every step of the way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexi is joined by her friend Lisa Thompson to answer listeners' advice questions about letting go of a situation you've outgrown, feeling like you live two distinct lives, and granting yourself permission when you're wired to always ask for it. Add a comfy pair of Merrells to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alessia de Gasperis, the artist formerly known as Kai who you may know from the hit songs “Never Be Like You” with Flume and “Revolution” with Diplo, joins host Alexi Pappas to share the story of the past ten years, making music and not making music, inside and outside of the institutions of the music industry. Alessia and Alexi talk about healing childhood wounds, training your nervous system, and what it means to practice gratitude. They also talk about what is the journey to freedom really, what it means to feel your feelings, and why Alessia loves pickleball. Alessia’s upcoming EP, titled “Won’t Always Be There,” expresses the themes of this conversation—the importance of gratitude, and how life is a constant state of renewal.  Listen to Alessia’s music on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/27d6mRgPBvGasBzQ9KFMGO?si=gQh9DkNBTLmx5tOnimvckg Follow Alessia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessiadegasperis/?hl=en If recovery is something you know you should be taking more seriously, visit ⁠https://therabody.com⁠ and use the code MENTORBUFFET at checkout for 15% off one product of your choice. Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Ready to upgrade your eyewear? Visit ⁠https://goodr.com/mentorbuffet⁠ to claim $10 off their first order. Visit https://GoBrewing.com/alexi50 for 50% first beer club subscription order with code ALEXI50. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Alexi answers listeners' advice questions about how to know whether you should take somebody's advice, how to know when to quit, and what to do if you feel like you like your boyfriend way more than he likes you.  Add a comfy pair of Merrell's to your rotation with 25% off your first purchase using the code MENTORBUFFET2026 at ⁠https://merrell.com⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices