The Allure of Approval: Why We Seek Universal Likability [Ep.765]

On today’s show, I am talking about adjacent stress. Adjacent stress is the stress that others have and its impact on your life. It is other people’s stress and because of our relationship with them, it affects our lives. This stress can come from our spouse, our children, parents, best friend, family, and other friendships. Some people do not feel this stress, while others are highly impacted by it. If you are dealing with someone’s adjacent stress, this is the podcast for you. We need to understand adjacent stress and how to deal with it. It is great to care, but it can be difficult when we are dealing with our stress and taking on adjacent stress as well.

Stress, stress, and more stress! Many of us are under an immense amount of stress every day. This stress can come from our career, our home life, lifestyle, situations, family, relationships, regrets, and the state of the world. When we think of stress, how do we define it and how do we deal with it? We need to take a look at the choices that we have made and choices that we have not made in our lives that have created havoc and stress for us. Join me today as I take a deep dive into stress, where it is coming from, and what we can do right now to make changes In our lives to offset some of our stress.

Today’s show will discuss science and keeping our children up to date on the most innovative ways to obtain accurate information for them to learn. Joining me is Dr Penny Norman. Dr. Norman has a Ph.D. in Biophysics from UC Berkeley. Dr. Penny is dedicated not only to children but also to education. She has written more than 20 Science STEM books for elementary-aged children over the last 20 years. A number of these STEM books have sold millions of copies. These titles are based on years of work with children in the classroom and in after-school programs. She and her editor Ann Einstein have tested these materials and books over many years. Some projects work. Some do not. Some engage children. Others do not. It is only through years of “watching their faces” that activities have been sourced and selected.Her books and kits have received numerous awards, including Family Choice Award 2018 – GOLD MEDAL, Multiple Creative Child Magazine Awards, Scientific American’s Young Reader’s Book Awards, Good Morning American’s Top Ten Children’s Toys, multiple National Parenting Magazine Awards, The Parent’s Choice Seal of Approval, PUZZLE of the YEAR from Games Magazine, and a Modern Library Award. See ScienceWiz.com for an almost complete list of her titles.

On Today’s show, we will identify the people in our lives that we pay to be in our lives. Our doctors, lawyers, accountants, and therapists are just a few examples of the people we pay to be in our lives. We pay these people to help us in our lives. We need to identify who these people are and be confident that they have our best interests in mind, often we lose sight of this. We need to make sure that the people we are paying and giving power to in our lives are there for us and give us the best possible care, advice, and interest in our lives. We need to understand why we chose these people to help us, and what it is that causes us to stick with them when they may not be the best choice for us. We give them power and hope they do the right thing. We must find people that share some of our values.

Have you ever found yourself offering a suggestion, only to be quickly turned down? The feeling of being shut down can be very disheartening. Today I want to talk about a group of society that tends to gravitate toward individuals who think they know it all. However, the reality is that very few know it all. This same type of person also seems to gravitate toward others who are narcissistic in nature. The heart of the matter lies in the issue that they only take advice from supposed know-it-alls without wanting to consider input from anyone else. This behavior most likely comes from their upbringing and family dynamics. This behavior seems to work for these individuals because it is something they are accustomed to. What works for them is very frustrating to the rest of us who care about them. The frustration is evident when the responsibility of caring for these individuals falls on our shoulders, and they refuse to take advice from anyone outside of their chosen know-it-alls.

On today’s show, I dive into the complicated relationship where one minute they love you and the next they don’t. This leaves us never knowing what is going to happen next. The uncertainty that goes along with this type of relationship has an impact on our daily lives leaving us stressed, overwhelmed, and unable to focus. Often, we find ourselves losing our sense of self, fearing being left, having our partner get angry at us, or blaming us for everything wrong. There is a lack of responsibility on their part, expecting everyone else to be responsible but them. A big part of our journey is to recognize and realize what we are dealing with. We need to ask ourselves if this relationship is worth saving. Are we both doing the work necessary to have this relationship move forward? Also, do we deserve this type of person in our lives? We cannot let their behavior rub off on us, we need to set boundaries and make sure those boundaries are respected. Are we willing to walk on eggshells our whole life with them or are we ready to take a stand for our well-being?

As children, we all wanted to be the popular kid. We wanted everyone to like us. We wanted to be the kid chosen first for the team. However, no matter what we may have done there was always one or two kids who did not like us. What happens when we are adults and this desire to be liked by everyone continues in our lives? What about us causes us to want to be liked by everyone? On today's show, I am going to be talking about why we want to be liked so badly. I am going to examine the roots of our desire for popularity and how it shapes us as adults. Are you a people-pleaser, or can you be authentically yourself without needing outside validation? It is important to understand the difference between people-pleasing and being an authentic person. We need to take a deeper look into if our childhood is triggering us. Understanding why we do things, why we make certain choices, and why some things really impact us is key to our seeing who we are. We need to uncover the reasons why being liked by everyone still impacts our lives as adults.

What does it mean to be authentic? On today’s show, we are going to be talking about authenticity. Authenticity is something we strive for in our lives. We must learn how to do this for ourselves and other people in our lives. The founder of Bridging Worlds Behavioral Service, creator of Heart-Centered Revolutions, and author of his latest book, Authenticity: The Immense Power to be Yourself, Adam Bulbulia joins us today. Adam is dedicated to showing us how being authentic is powerful and life-changing.You can find information about Adam Bulbulia by following the links below:[https://bridgingworldsbehavioralservices.com](https://bridgingworldsbehavioralservices.com/)https://www.amazon.com/Inspired-Authenticity-Power-Yourself-World/dp/B0B55D8M67[https://heartcenteredrevolutions.org](https://heartcenteredrevolutions.org/)https://www.instagram.com/heartcenteredrevolutions/https://www.facebook.com/heartcenteredrevolutions

How do you handle an argument that you never planned on having? Have you ever had someone start an argument with you when you did nothing to provoke them? On Today’s show, we are going to take an in-depth look into arguments. Specifically, what happens when the argument comes out of the blue? We need to understand what needs to be done in these situations. To avoid being caught off guard when it occurs in the future and to enable us to react appropriately, we must learn how to retain the concept in memory.

Studies have shown that most drivers develop an emotional connection to their car. Some people even refer to their car as an old trustworthy friend. The emotional connection people feel towards their cars is interesting and can be pretty normal. Join Ashley today as she talks about the emotional attachment that we have to our vehicles and why is it so hard to let our cars go. Ashley helps us understand why we develop these connections and why it is so hard for us to say goodbye to our cars when the time comes.