72. Everything Was Thriving Except Me (with Michaela Miller)

Have you ever had a week that’s already maxed out, and then someone asks you for one more thing and you hear yourself say yes before you’ve even thought about it? Then you wake up at 3am, exhausted, overwhelmed, and a little bit resentful, wondering why you didn’t just say no. Welcome to the Pleaser.This is the second episode in my November mini-series on the parts, the protectors and inner critics, that get in the way of our audacity. Last week was the high achiever. This week I’m taking you through the Pleaser, the part I know so well, because I have a very strong one.We get into where it comes from in childhood, fawning as the fourth stress response alongside fight, flight and freeze, and the Pleaser’s real superpowers of empathy and reading a room. Then we look at how it actually runs you: the automatic yes, weak boundaries, overexplaining, feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings, and the hidden deal of overgiving and over-delivering that quietly breeds resentment. I share the self-trust versus self-abandonment piece that hits so hard in midlife, a short exercise around saying no, my own permission slips for the pleaser, and simple ways to start practising boundaries.“If I keep everyone happy around me, then I am safe.” Fiona WalshCurious about your Inner Critics or Saboteurs?Saboteur assessment (Positive Intelligence): https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/Book a Breakthrough Session with Fiona: a 90-minute deep mind and body session focused on one pattern, loop or opportunity you’d like to work through to unlock more of your limitless potential. You’ll leave with more clarity, more self-trust, and a clear next step. https://calendly.com/fiona-walsh-coach/breakthrough-sessionWork with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous system safety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching, Group Program and Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. And if it landed, share it with a friend who has people-pleasing tendencies, I know it will help them.

I'll be straight with you. For way too long, the win never quite landed for me. I'd hit the goal, feel it for a moment, and I'd already be on to the next thing before I'd let any of it soakin. That is the high achiever part, and it is the one I'm starting with today.This is the first episode in a November mini-series of shorter solo episodes, where I walk you through the different parts, the saboteurs and inner critics, that run our inner world and quietlyget in the way of our audacity. It all started when a speaker defined audacity as boldness without a permission slip, and I have not stopped thinking about it since.We get into the rules spectrum, from rule follower to rewriter to breaker to the people for whom rules barely exist, and why so many of us are wired for safety. I share how permission slips helped me rewrite the rules that were keeping me small, and then we meet the high achiever properly: why the win never lands, why the part never rests, where your sense of worth goes when it comes from what you do, and the quiet cost that no holiday ever fixes. I finish with a short in-the-body exercise, how to write your own permission slip, and the one small step to take this week.“Who am I if I'm not achieving?” Fiona WalshCurious about your Inner Critics or Saboteurs?Saboteur assessment (PositiveIntelligence): https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/Book a Breakthrough Session with Fiona: a 90-minute deep mind and body session focused on one pattern, loop or opportunity you'd like to work through to unlock more of your limitless potential. You'll leave with more clarity, more self-trust, and a clear next step. https://calendly.com/fiona-walsh-coach/breakthrough-sessionWork with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration,and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous systemsafety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching and Group https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. And if it landed, share it with a high-achieving friend, I know it will help them.

Tami Wong is the founder of Hair Loss Pride, an alopecia advocate, and the host of the Shedding the Shame podcast. She is also one of the bravest cycle breakers I’ve had on the show.Quick heads up: we talk about childhood trauma, family estrangement and hair loss, so go gently with yourself if any of that feels tender.Tami spent almost twenty years in corporate healthcare, and then one ordinary morning she was laid off and blindsided, and the identity she’d built her whole life around went with it. Underneath that there was a quieter story she had carried alone since she was fifteen: losing her hair, and the shame, hiding and anxiety that came with it. This is a conversation about who you are when the things you built your identity on fall away. We get into self-worth and how tangled it gets up in how we look, why shame breeds in silence and what changed the moment she finally said the thing out loud, how she built the community she wished she’d had, and what it really takes to break a cycle, including the day she walked away from her parents and did it without carrying the resentment.“I’ve been limiting myself in what I believe I can do, and I’m capable of so much more.” Tami WongConnect with Tami WongWebsite: https://therealtamiwong.comHair Loss Pride: https://hairlosspride.comShedding the Shame podcast: https://therealtamiwong.com/podcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/hairlossprideLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tami-wong-27008253YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hairlossprideWork with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, neuro and somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous system safety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. And if anything here brings something up for you, please be kind to yourself and reach out for support.

At five years old, Amber Romaniuk got called fat and ugly on the school bus, and she carried that label for the next twenty years. This is her cycle-breaking story, and it is a brave one.Quick heads up: we talk openly about disordered eating and food addiction, so go gently if that is triggering or activating.Amber is an emotional eating, digestive and hormone expert who has coached women for over thirteen years. Today she takes us back into the binge eating, the restriction, and the night she hit her lowest point, pulling cookies out of the dumpster and asking herself, who am I, and how did this become my life. What I love about this one is that it goes under the behaviour: why food becomes a soother when your nervous system doesn't feel safe, why weight is so often a protective mechanism, why the inner criticism is as destructive as the eating itself, and how she broke a pattern that ran back through her mum and generations before her. We also get a frank, no-sugarcoating take on GLP-1s and the quick fixes we're being sold.“This is not a willpower journey, it's a self-worth journey.” Amber RomaniukYou're invited to:Becoming Limitless: my new group programThe doors to Becoming Limitless are open,my new group program. Three months in a small group, for people who look successful on the outside but are still gripping, proving and performing on the inside. It's built around one question: who am I being, and if I was becominglimitless, what would that actually look and feel like.If you're curious, come to a free coaching call and feel the work for yourself: https://fiona-walsh-coaching.kit.com/166e3431d9 Connectwith Amber RomaniukWebsite: https://amberapproved.caThe No Sugarcoating Podcast: https://amberapproved.ca/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberromaniukFree gifts from AmberEmotional Eating Quiz:https://amberapproved.ca/emotional-eating-quiz/Hormone Imbalance Quiz:https://amberapproved.ca/hormone-imbalance-quizComplimentary 30-minute Body FreedomSession: https://amberapproved.ca/body-freedom-consultation/ Work with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous systemsafety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions:https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. And if anything here brings something up for you, please be kind to yourself and reach out for support.

There was no crisis. No breakdown, no rock bottom. Just a quiet dimming that Marissa Liesen couldn't ignore, the sense she was living at a fraction of her aliveness.She had the career as a COO, the relationship, the big-city life in Chicago she'd worked years to build, and underneath it a creeping feeling that this wasn't quite it. I spend a lot of my coaching time in this exact space, with people who look successful from the outside and are quietly craving to reconnect with something they can't name.After her dad passed suddenly and then the world locked down, Marissa stopped leading from the front of her brain and started letting her body and her intuition steer. Over two years she left the relationship, the career and the city, and followed a pull all the way to Lisbon, and now Amsterdam. We get into what it feels like when your body knows something your mind hasn't caught up with yet, how she uses human design to build a life and business around who she actually is, the risk of over-identifying with a type, and why a place where nobody knows who you were before can set you free."This is not me and my full aliveness." Marissa LiesenFree gift for the Limitless communityMarissa built Magnetic Power Codes, an app that turns your human design, gene keys and astrology into a 12-part report for how you're designed to succeed. She's opened it up for Limitless listeners: a free report, plus a free month of the AI chat feature, cancel anytime. Get yours: https://www.magneticpowercodes.com/limitlessConnect with Marissa LiesenWebsite: https://www.marissaliesen.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/marissaliesenLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marissaliesenfeltYou're Invite to Becoming Limitless: my new group programBecoming Limitless is my new three-month group program, running from October. Small group, so you get the breadth of other people's perspectives, plus the depth of one-on-one coaching with me. We look at who you're choosing to be every day, nervous system regulation, what's keeping you limited and stuck, and what limitless actually looks and feels like for you. If you want to make some brave, bold moves before the end of the year, put your name down: https://fiona-walsh-coaching.kit.com/ae6e71ce23Work with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous system safety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. It helps more high-achieving but quietly overwhelmed leaders find this work, and themselves.

I caught myself mid pity party a couple of weeks ago. Jules bolted upright at 2am, convinced he'd missed the alarm for hisearly flight, and we both tossed and turned until his actual 4am wake-up went off. I barely got back to sleep before mine went at 6, and I was lying there building a whole story about how my day was already ruined. Then I asked myself the question I now start every client with: who am I choosing to be today.This is a micro-dose episode on the power of intention, and choosing who you're being every single day. For years theself-development world has kept us in the knowing and the doing. Both are cognitive, both are mindset work, and you can stay in that loop forever. The step I've reoriented to, for myself and my clients, is the being. Getting out of the mind and embodying the change.I share my own real-time catch after a broken night's sleep, why overfunctioning gets dressed up as wellness and whena routine becomes a crutch, and what choosing who you're being has looked like for the people I coach, from staying regulated in big client meetings to writing a to-being list for a milestone birthday. I also get into the expectations gap most high performers are carrying, and why real change is incremental, not a quantum leap.“Who am I choosing to be today?” Fiona WalshJoin the waitlist: Becoming LimitlessBecoming Limitless is my new three-monthgroup program, running October to December. Small group, so you get the breadth of other people's perspectives, plus coaching time with me.We look at who you're choosing to be every day, nervous system regulation, what's keeping you stuck, and what limitless actually looks and feels like for you. Put your name down: https://fiona-walsh-coaching.kit.com/ae6e71ce23Work with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous systemsafety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions:https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. It helps more high-achieving but quietly overwhelmed leaders find this work, and themselves.

“If you learn to ask good questions, you always get good answers.”  Catherine Roscoe BarrFor years I thought if I just understoodmyself well enough, I'd finally change. I could explain my own patterns in detail. And I stayed stuck and looping in them anyway.That is what Catherine Roscoe Barr and I get into today. Not the knowing. Not even the doing. The being.Catherine is a neuroscientist and the best-selling author of Feel Better Now. She had the degree, the certifications,all the tools. And in 2009 she still hit a wall so dark she wasn't sure she wanted to keep going. What pulled her out wasn't more information. It was one simple practice that moved her out of knowing and into doing. But the part that almost nobody names: doing into being. Getting out of your head and into yourbody. Not ticking the box on the work, but embodying it, in real time, choosing who you're being every single day.This is the exact gap I built Becoming Limitless (my new group coaching program) around, so this conversation is very close to my heart right now. Becoming Limitless is open for the waitlist. Three months, small group, built around one question: who are you being right now. Limited, or limitless. If you're ready to make some brave, bold moves before the end of the year, pop your name on the list: https://fiona-walsh-coaching.kit.com/ae6e71ce23Connect with CatherineBook: Feel Better Now: The Life-ChangingPower of Simple Pleasures: https://www.thelifedelicious.ca/booksWebsite: https://www.thelifedelicious.caInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/catherineroscoebarrWork with Fiona Walsh1:1 Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions:https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meWebsite: https://www.fionawalsh.coInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachIf this episode landed for you, follow Limitless and leave a rating. It helps more high performers who are quietlyrunning on empty find this work, and find their way back to themselves.Books mentioned in this episode:Mind Magic: The Neuroscience ofManifestation, by Dr James DotyInto the Magic Shop, by Dr James DotyThe Signs: The New Science of How to TrustYour Instincts, by Dr Tara Swart

What happens when you go against your own intuition, and carry the guilt of it for years?Lisa Crichton is an evidential medium and energy healer, and in this episode she shares the trauma that once made her turn away from her gift, the healing that brought her back, and why forgiveness isn't a one-time event but something we return to in layers.We go to places I haven't taken Limitless before: what a medium actually sees, hears and feels, what happens to the soul when we die, how souls choose to incarnate, and what the ones who have passed want us to know. We also get honest about cycle breaking, self-worth, and the tender dance between control and surrender.If you've ever overridden your own knowing, or you're learning to forgive yourself in layers, this one will stay with you."Spirit doesn't bring us what we want. They bring us what we need." – Lisa CrichtonConnect with Lisa CrichtonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/northvanmediumlisaWork with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous system safety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching & Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow Limitless and leave a rating. It helps more high-achieving but quietly overwhelmed leaders find this work, and themselves.

Michaela Miller was in business class on the way to Berlin with a three month old on her lap, answering client emails at 3am, when she realised she could not keep going. From the outside her life looked like a dream. Inside, the founder of Caribbean Boat Concierge was quietly crumbling, running two businesses with three young kids and never once asking for help.Fiona and Michaela trace the pattern back to a childhood of fierce independence, and follow what happened when her body finally said no. They talk about why doing two things halfway keeps your beliefs from ever being tested, the wound underneath always chasing the next new venture, how a hot yoga class produced the idea for an entirely new business, and what it took to let an old identity die. Michaela also sharesthe reframe that unlocked delegation for her: the job you hate is someone else’s dream role."Everything else is thriving except for me." – Michaela Miller Connect with Michaela MillerInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/themichaelamillerCaribbean Boat Concierge:https://caribbean.boatconcierge.comCaribbean Boat Concierge onInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/caribbeanboatconcierge Work with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somaticrecalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and self trust:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching & Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] If this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow the show and leave a review. It helps more high-achieving but quietly overwhelmed leaders find this work, and themselves.

Julie Reisler was eating out of a parked car when she heard the voice that changed her life. The master coach, Georgetown professor, and two-time TEDx speaker takes us back to the twomoments that cracked her open: a food addiction rock bottom, and a 3:33am panic attack carrying a message she could not unhear.Fiona and Julie trace the childhood roots of people-pleasing and numbing, the difference between fear and intuition, why people-pleasing is a form of lying, and how we are all connectedthrough one energetic field. Julie also shares the two practices that changed everything for her: meeting your inner world before you touch your phone, and going to sleep with your hands on your heart."Our intuition doesn't have a calendar or an alarm clock. It comes when it comes and it's our job. Are you gonna follow it or not?" – Julie Reisler Connect with Julie ReislerWebsite: https://juliereisler.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliereislerPodcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4PM0LrtQHd6FaFlY31gi9m Work with Fiona WalshExplore coaching, somatic recalibration, and resources for high performers ready to lead from clarity and nervous system safety:Website: https://www.fionawalsh.co1:1 Coaching & Breakthrough Sessions: https://www.fionawalsh.co/work-with-meInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fiona-walsh-coachEmail: [email protected] If this episode gave you clarity or a moment of relief, follow the show and leave a review. It helps more high-achieving but quietly overwhelmed leaders find this work, and themselves.