When fear feels safer than healing

This audio is from a recent Substack post - read here. This is an example of a paid post but I made it publicly available as a taster for what you receive for just £5/month. That's healing support for less than the cost of a coffee. This episode walks you through how fear of change can hold us back from moving forward. How meeting the resistance and fear with curiosity instead of dismissal is how we take steps towards the growth we seek:The unknown can feel more dangerous than staying where we are, even if “where we are” is painful. Why? Because it’s familiar. And what is familiar feels safe, even if it hurts.This is the paradox so many of us live in:I want to heal…but I’m scared of what that means.I want to take the first step…but I don’t know what I need.I want to move forward…but part of me feels frozen.For other supportive healing posts and to subscribe, take a look here at Substack. @survivorsanctuary.Thank you always for taking the time to tell me how helpful you find the podcast - it's what keeps me going with it. It really is a labour of love. If you are interested in knowing more about survivor circles (online and in person - West Sussex RH20), use this form.

Read the full post on Substack here. "Many of us have learned to survive by disconnecting from our emotions, shutting down sensations in our bodies, and keeping our pain locked away in the unconscious corners of our minds. At some point, this numbing may have been necessary. Numbness may keep us safe from pain, but it also keeps us from feeling fully alive. It separates us from the love, joy, and connection we long for. And yet, the idea of “feeling again” can be terrifying—because if we let ourselves feel, what if it’s too much? What if we get swallowed whole? What if we can’t climb out of the spiral? But over time, that protection can become a prison. It prevents real connection with ourselves and others. I want to tell you this: you are not broken. And you don’t have to go from numb to feeling everything all at once. There is a way to gently, safely reconnect with your emotions—without drowning in them. As we step onto the path of healing, we come to realise that true liberation requires us to feel again".Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. ⁠Subscribe here.⁠Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now ⁠buy Stacie a coffee.⁠ This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. 

In this short story, you will hear why connecting with our inner child is healing - especially if you felt you didn't have your needs met as a child. During the healing process, it is transformative to learn that we can reparent ourselves and witness what the inner child needed. In the Survivor Sanctuary Membership this month, we are exploring Inner Child Connection for our Healing Theme. There is a detailed PDF guide and a guided meditation included. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. ⁠Subscribe here.⁠Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now ⁠buy Stacie a coffee.⁠ This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. 

Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral. Sometimes, it’s messy, cyclical, and feels like falling apart before we can piece back together.The truth is, healing doesn’t look like what the world tells us. It’s not about moving on and forgetting. It’s about becoming—becoming someone new, someone whole again, through the raw process of transformation.If you’ve ever felt like your healing doesn’t fit into a neat package, like you’re doing it “wrong” because you’re not “over it,” this space is for you. I believe in the healing that happens when we sit with our pain, our shadows, and embrace the parts of us that have been silenced.This is not about quick fixes or the pressure to be “fixed”. It’s about honouring your unique journey, where healing is personal, deep, and unfolds in its own time. At your pace. Read the post on my Substack to explore what this kind of healing looks like and how we can hold space for it together. ⁠Subscribe here.⁠ You can find the written reflection questions here if you want to revisit them.Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now ⁠buy Stacie a coffee.⁠ This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. 

"Today, I want to share with you the moment that changed everything for me. I find that people easily forget the place I once was, that dark place of not knowing what to do with the mess that lived deeply buried within me. In all honesty, it still amazes me today that here I am sharing with the world. That vow that I made to my 12 year old self to never share to another soul, felt so eternal and binding. And yet, the memory of this vow also reminds me that things do change and that there is a world of possibility; we just have to be open to it. There were many moments when I considered drudging up the deeply hidden and heavily locked box that was my trauma. Times when the weight of it felt unbearable, yet fear always held me back. I would edge closer to admitting it to myself, only to shut it down, convincing myself that it wasn’t the right time, that I wasn’t ready, that maybe I never would be. Maybe it didn’t happen as I remembered it anyway."~~~You can read the full post on Substack ⁠here⁠ that goes with this short story. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. ⁠Subscribe here.⁠Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now ⁠buy Stacie a coffee.⁠ This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. Stacie is taking a break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when she returns to recording. Email: [email protected]. 

A short story about the burden we may carry of shame, blame and guilt after experiencing trauma. "The Lies We InternaliseSelf-blame whispers, It was my fault.Shame hisses, I am broken.Guilt lingers, I should have done something differently.These voices are not ours. They are echoes of a world that fails to hold survivors with the compassion that is deserved. They are the messages we absorbed from silence, from misunderstanding, from the weight of trauma itself. And the most painful part? When we don’t know where else to place the hurt, we turn it inward.I did".You can read the full post on Substack ⁠here⁠ that was written to accompany this short story. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. ⁠Subscribe here.⁠Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now ⁠buy Stacie a coffee.⁠ This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. Stacie is taking a break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when she returns to recording. Email: [email protected]. 

A short story about Stacie's journey to suppression of trauma, to not believing healing was possible to now. "There was a time in my life when I felt completely lost. Trapped on a relentless hamster wheel of self-loathing, shame, and blame, I questioned whether freedom from my past was even possible. I spent years disconnected from myself, carrying the weight of my trauma, and believing that the answers lay somewhere outside of me". You can read the full letter on Substack here that goes with this short story. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. Subscribe here. Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now buy Stacie a coffee. This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way.  Stacie is taking a break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when she returns to recording. Email: [email protected]. 

Welcome to a new series where Stacie will be sharing short 'stories'. She is taking a short break from guest recording and wants to share something different for a little while. They will be short episodes but she hopes to share the power of storytelling. In this introduction, Stacie explains the power and benefit of storytelling both as a therapeutic practice and as creative self-expression. As she shares the stories with you, she invites you to open yourself to the power of storytelling—not just as something to listen to, but as something to feel. Notice how stories land in your body. Notice what emotions they stir. And if you feel called, explore your own self-expression. Whether through writing, speaking, art, or simply reflecting on the stories you carry within you.Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. Subscribe here.Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing (email below or send a comment/review). And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now buy Stacie a coffee. This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. We are taking a short break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when we return to recording. Email: [email protected]. 

Stacie shares another guest episode today thanks to Jen for sharing your truth, your honesty and vulnerability. We cover a lot in this episode including grooming, "affairs", the grey age of 16 and consent, relationship dynamics/complexities and more. As always, take care when listening. Your wellbeing comes first. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. Subscribe here.Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing! And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now buy Stacie a coffee. This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. Stacie is taking a break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when she returns to recording. Email: [email protected]. 

After taking an unintentional break (again), Stacie is back sharing another survivor story with John today. Thank you John for reaching out and wanting to share your truth. John was inspired by listening to others share theirs - thank you for your contribution to the podcast. Stacie loves John's answer to the last question - really powerful words. As always, take care when listening. Your wellbeing is important - come back to this if needed. Stacie is creating a safe space to share, connect and grow a sense of community on Substack. If you subscribe, you can receive personal insights and reflection in your inbox - that aren't posted publicly. Subscribe here.Stacie loves hearing your podcast feedback so keep sharing! And if you want to show some appreciation for the podcast, you can now buy Stacie a coffee. This podcast is created as a free resource, accessible to all and therefore this is a small way you can say thank you if you’ve benefited in any way. Stacie is taking a break from recording with guests but you can still reach out to express your interest for coming on the podcast for when she returns to recording. Email: [email protected].