209. Navigating Loss of Identity (not like a Mean Girl); Q&A: How to cope with diet culture talk in the break room

In this episode, Stefanie revisits the early days of her “all-in” recovery from binge eating and restriction. She shares raw excerpts from personal emails she wrote at the time, capturing the fear, doubt, and body image struggles of letting go of food rules on her 40th birthday. Stefanie reflects on why this attempt at recovery succeeded when so many earlier ones hadn’t, and what it really means to be ready for change. She also answers a listener question about the most sensible advice clients resist, explaining why nervous system safety and readiness matter more than logic when it comes to eating regularly or buying clothes that fit. If you’ve ever wondered what “all-in” looks like from the inside—or why advice can sound simple but feel impossible—this episode will meet you there. BINGE EATING TO INTUITIVE EATING COURSE : Starts September 29 2025 Connect with Stefanie: Website: www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Substack: www.substack.com/@iamstefaniemichele Email: [email protected]

In this solo episode of Life After Diets, Stefanie Michele takes a deeply personal look at identity — how it forms, how it gets tangled up with food and body image, and how it shifts in the process of recovery. With her co-host Sarah leaving the podcast, Stefanie reflects on what it means to carry the podcast forward on her own and how that mirrors the ways we all renegotiate who we are when familiar roles change. She shares vulnerable stories from her teenage years, including moments when dieting and comparison became tied to her sense of belonging, and how those early identities carried forward into adulthood. Stefanie unpacks the pull of societal validation — being seen as the “fit one,” the “healthy one,” or even the “struggling one” — and how these labels can feel both protective and limiting. The episode also explores the everyday challenges of navigating diet culture, from handling casual food and body talk to setting boundaries that protect your well-being. Stefanie discusses practical ways to self-soothe, create space for uncomfortable emotions, and question the narratives that no longer serve you. More than a story of food or recovery, this conversation is about identity itself: the parts of us we protect, the roles we cling to, and the freedom that comes with exploring new ways of being. Connect with Stefanie: Website: www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Substack: www.substack.com/@iamstefaniemichele Email: [email protected]    

A very special announcement to say that Life After Diets is closing a chapter to open some new ones. As Sarah makes room in her life for new endeavors (if you're in the UK area, be sure to subscribe to her mailing list for future in-person events), Stef will still be a voice in your ear under the Life After Diets name...for now.  To stay in touch with Stef and Sarah, you can use the following links: Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating & Body Image Coach; Somatic Therapist Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Substack - www.substack.com/@iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon We sincerely appreciate everyone who has been a part of the Life After Diets community, whether that meant listening in your car on the way to work, playing an episode while out on a walk, or having us on in the background as you moved through the everyday routines of your life. However you found us, however often you tuned in, we don’t take it lightly. It has meant so much to know that our voices have traveled alongside you, that the conversations we’ve had together have been part of your own reflections and your own stories. We created this podcast hoping it would feel like company. A place to come back to when you needed it. Knowing that so many of you did just that has been a gift beyond what we imagined. Thank you for inviting us into your time and your world. xx

Recovery from disordered eating doesn’t end the moment bingeing stops — that’s often where an entirely new phase begins. In this episode, Stef and Sarah unpack the often-overlooked “middle ground” of recovery — the stage where the chaos of bingeing has quieted, but true peace with food still feels out of reach. Stef describes this phase as a kind of emotional limbo: the urgency is gone, but now there’s loneliness, uncertainty, and a disorienting sense of now what?. Sarah shares how she moved from bingeing to occasional overeating, and how easy it was to slip into black-and-white thinking without recognizing the real progress she’d already made. Together, they explore: what this “no man’s land” actually looks and feels like why it’s normal to struggle more with self-image once the bingeing stops the importance of community, language, and support during this time how to build trust in yourself before everything feels fully healed why this middle stage isn’t failure — it’s where real integration happens If you’re past the acute phase but still don’t feel “recovered,” this conversation will help you name where you are, trust the process, and move forward with more clarity (and less self-judgment). Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Substack - www.substack.com/@iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

Marcus returns as the only guest we’ve ever invited back to the podcast, and in this conversation, he opens up about his evolving understanding of neurodivergence — particularly through the lens of autism — and how that realization has reshaped his recovery from an eating disorder, his relationships, and his sense of self. With honesty, nuance, and hard-won clarity, Marcus shares what it’s been like to recognize autistic traits later in life, to untangle years of masking, and to reframe behaviors that once felt like personal failings as natural responses to a world not built for his brain. We talk about the overlap between autism and disordered eating, the tension between sensory overwhelm and nourishment, and the emotional weight of trying to function in social environments that feel confusing or unsafe. This episode moves slowly and intentionally through themes of identity, regulation, emotional flooding, and the pressure to “get it right” in recovery. It’s a conversation for anyone who’s ever suspected that their struggles with food, emotion, or connection might be rooted in something deeper than what’s visible, and for anyone curious about the intersection of neurodivergence and healing.   Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Substack - www.substack.com/@iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

You’d think feeling bad about your body would make you eat less. But often, it does the opposite — and no, you’re not broken for that. In this episode, we talk about the counterintuitive link between body image spirals and the urge to binge eat. We share our own experiences of how fear, shame, and catastrophizing can kick off the cycle — sometimes even before any actual restriction happens. From the mental scarcity that shows up just at the idea of cutting back, to the sensory panic of tight jeans, we explore what’s really going on beneath the surface. We also talk about: Why planning to restrict often triggers the binge The role of black-and-white thinking and emotional escape How body discomfort creates urgency to numb out Practical strategies for de-escalating the moment (including algorithm cleanup and body neutrality) Plus, we share some food updates, lighter moments, and how this overlaps with topics from our other podcast, Feelings and Other Inconveniences. If you’ve ever felt confused or ashamed about bingeing after a “bad body day,” this episode will help you understand why — and what to do about it.   Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you’d think (and yes, we actually read them). Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

What takes up space in your mind when food no longer does?   In this live episode with the Life After Diets community, we explore what happens when food obsession fades.  Do we land in a new identity with different thoughts and interests? Or do we find new mental fixations waiting in the wings?   From identity shifts and social anxiety to ego, neurodivergence, and the need for stimulation, we dig into what it really means to reclaim your mental real estate. A candid, insightful conversation about what comes next in life after diets.   01:08 Personal Experiences with Obsession 02:43 Finding New Focus and Purpose 04:15 Balancing Life and Recovery 05:28 Exploring Identity Beyond Food 20:48 Dealing with Social Anxiety and Self-Perception 21:29 Common Replacements for Food Obsessions 24:00 Embracing Downtime and Self-Care 25:22 Intentional Living  26:19 Exploring Neurodiversity and Monotropism 27:57 Challenges with Transitions and Coping Mechanisms 30:23 Secondary Stimulation  39:02 Ego Self and Higher Consciousness   Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

Ever feel like food is the only way you’re allowed to rest? In this episode, we dive into the complicated overlap between rest, productivity, and eating — especially when slowing down feels wrong.  We talk about using food to procrastinate, to collapse, or "let go" … and the cultural guilt that makes true rest so hard to claim.  If you’ve ever felt anxious doing nothing (unless snacks are involved), this one goes there. 00:49 The Struggle with Rest and Productivity 01:38 Exploring the Concept of Rest 03:36 Restorative Activities and Personal Reflections 05:58 The Role of Food in Rest and Procrastination 17:01 The Fear of Losing Momentum 18:49 Understanding Compulsive Eating 19:12 Functional vs. Emotional Eating 19:54 Binge Eating as a Coping Mechanism 20:56 The Pressure to Keep Going 21:51 Balancing Responsibilities and Self-Care 23:56 The Importance of Rest 25:00 Personal Experiences with Overcommitment 29:13 Navigating Hyper Productivity 35:20 The Right to Rest and Restore   Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

This week, we’re talking boundaries—the invisible lines that protect our time, energy, and sanity (when we actually enforce them). Stef and Sarah unpack what boundaries really are (hint: not just saying “no”), how they show up in our bodies, our relationships, and our work—and why so many of us struggle to hold them. From family dynamics to friend drama, people-pleasing traps to food boundaries, they share real stories of what it takes to define and defend your limits without guilt. They also get into the psychology behind rigid vs. porous boundaries, how social conditioning makes it harder for some of us to draw the line, and why clear communication isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. If you’ve ever felt like setting a boundary makes you mean—or like you’re constantly betraying yourself just to avoid conflict—this conversation is for you. Tune in for a candid, compassionate look at how to honor your needs and why boundaries aren’t just protective… they’re a form of kindness. 01:09 Defining Boundaries 02:20 Types of Boundaries 04:09 Personal Experiences with Boundaries 08:09 Boundaries in Relationships 10:32 Communicating Boundaries Effectively 11:41 Challenges in Setting Boundaries 13:11 Owning Your Boundaries 21:23 The Importance of Clear Communication 22:56 Setting Boundaries with Family 24:35 Navigating Boundaries in Friendships 26:41 Balancing Personal and Professional Boundaries 28:56 Understanding Boundaries in Therapy 34:57 Boundaries and Food Relationships 40:55 Concluding Thoughts on Boundaries Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon

In this episode, the hosts introduce their guest Nicola Salmon, a fertility coach with a medical science background who advocates for fat-positive fertility. Nicola shares strategies for navigating the biases in fertility healthcare systems, especially for those in bigger bodies. She discusses her journey, the myths around fertility in fat bodies, and the challenges posed by current medical practices, including BMI restrictions and the implications of GLP-1 medications. Nicola also offers insights on advocating for oneself in medical settings and emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and safe environment. The conversation covers practical advice, highlights the emotional aspects of the journey, and aims to provide both hope and actionable steps for those struggling with fertility and fat bias. MEET Nicola Salmon Fat Positive Fertility Membership on KOFI Join our support community. This community is for you if you want a safe space to work through your daily struggles with food and body image. Community membership includes livestream episode recordings (online), monthly Zoom support meetings, a private Facebook group and member-only Q&A episodes. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterdietspodcast Email – [email protected] Connect with Stefanie Michele, Binge Eating Coach & Somatic Therapist IT Website – www.iamstefaniemichele.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele Connect with Sarah Dosanjh, Author & Psychotherapist Website – www.thebingeeatingtherapist.com Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_binge_eating_therapist YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBingeEatingTherapist Sarah’s book I Can’t Stop Eating is available on Amazon