Go to Church or the Devil'll Get You

Remember when every successful ’90s sitcom eventually found an excuse to send the entire cast to Disney World? This week on Hoot’n & Holler’n, Matt Mitchell, Eric Nix, Drake Pittman, and Joey Prestley revisit the gloriously unhinged Disney World episodes of Family Matters and Roseanne. We break down how Urkel becomes Stefan (its a scam), Laura makes some highly questionable life choices, the Conners invade the happiest place on Earth, and everyone enjoys a version of Disney World with apparently no lines, unlimited character access, and instantaneous park hopping. We also dig into why these Disney episodes became such a weirdly specific ’90s sitcom tradition and separate the Disney World we saw on TV from the one actual human beings have to visit. And this is only the beginning. Boy Meets World and Full House are still waiting for us. Check out past episodes, meet the cast, find our socials, and grab Hoot’n & Holler’n merch at https://hootnandhollern.com.

What makes a good Southern establishment? Sometimes it’s not the food, the prices, or even the place itself. It’s the people. This week, Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey break down the essential characters that let you know you’ve found a good one: the Dollar General manager who cares way too much, the longtime meat-and-three waitress, the old man who treats the golf course like his second home, the Waffle House cook you definitely don’t want to upset, and plenty more. From grocery stores and barbecue joints to gyms, golf courses, and Walgreens trolls, we’re celebrating the people who make Southern establishments what they are. For more Hoot’n & Holler’n, visit hootnandhollern.com.

College football is back, so we’re going back to the decade that helped turn the SEC into what it is today. Matt Mitchell, Joey Prestley, Eric Nix and Drake Pittman revisit SEC football in the 1990s, from Steve Spurrier and Gene Stallings to the birth of the SEC Championship Game and the glory days of Jefferson Pilot Sports. We remember 11:00 AM kickoffs, listening to games on the radio, checking scores in the Sunday newspaper, and somehow paying actual money to watch college football games on pay-per-view. Plus, we look at just how much the sport has changed since then, remember some of the players and coaches who defined the decade, and ask an important question: was college football somehow more fun when watching it required this much work? It was a different world. And depending on who you ask, maybe not an entirely worse one. Visit Hoot’n & Holler’n at https://www.hootnandhollern.com/

Remember when downloading one song could take all night, destroy the family computer, or turn out to be something completely different? This week, Matt Mitchell, Joey Prestley, Eric Nix, and Drake Pittman are heading back to the golden age of online music piracy: Napster, LimeWire, Kazaa, burned CDs, dial-up internet, mislabeled MP3s, portable CD players, cassette adapters and the thrill of risking everything for a free Nelly song. We swap stories about selling burned CDs, downloading questionable files, the songs permanently ruined by skips and glitches, and the truly ridiculous amount of work it once took just to make a playlist for your car. Plus: the music industry's war on piracy, “You Wouldn't Steal a Car,” Garth Brooks' refusal to make things easy, and some deeply questionable homemade mixtapes. Fire up the family computer, grab a blank Memorex and whatever you do, don't pick up the phone. We're downloading something. More Hoot'n & Holler'n: https://www.hootnandhollern.com/

Before you were old enough to suit up on Friday nights, you were out there anyway just running routes on a strip of grass by the bleachers, using whatever you could find (or steal) for a football. This week Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey rank the unofficial hierarchy of sideline football gear, from the elite stolen-from-the-field-house ball down to the dreaded three-liter Coke bottle stuffed with rocks. They get into tackle vs. tag rules, pretending to be Cowboys or Bills for a quarter, and the eternal question of when you're too old to still be playing keep-away on the walking track. Plus: two all-time fashion-fail stories, including a bootleg Elmo shirt from a Galleria kiosk that's now going for $85 on eBay, and the night Drake's silk Rock-inspired button-up got ripped clean down the middle mid-game.

A Southerner's Guide to Gulf Shores & Orange Beach Yes, Alabama has beaches — barely enough to earn the plural, but they're ours and we love them. This week the boys take you down to Gulf Shores and Orange Beach, the biggest non-Florida beach on the Gulf Coast and the reigning rival to Panama City. We get into it all: which states send the most tourists down to our sand (Louisiana's got no beaches of their own, apparently), the smallest Hooters in the entire world, the Souvenir City shark you've had your picture made in for 40 years, and that glorious moment coming over the bridge when the windows come down no matter the temperature. Then we rank the food — Fish River Grill, Docs, DeSoto's, Shrimp Basket, Lulu's, and the great Waffle House fog — before spending entirely too long on our shared hatred of Lambert's and their throwed rolls (a cautionary tale involving a fumbled roll, an innocent lady, and a drink spilled straight into a lap). Plus rainy day survival: Fat Daddy's arcade, mosquito-infested putt-putt, and the maze that is the Foley outlets. Grab a koozie and roll the windows down. It's time to Hoot and Holler. New episodes every Wednesday. 🏖️

The fellas are hungry and getting nostalgic about the all-you-can-eat buffet — a dying breed. Matt, Eric, and Joey dig into Golden Corral, Ryan's, Quincy's, Shoney's, and Western Sizzling, stumble into the wild web of Southern restaurant founders behind Captain D's and Shoney's Big Boy, argue the unwritten rules of the buffet line, and remember every gross thing they ever saw at Ryan's. Plus: big fat yeast rolls, a South Carolina Quincy's phone call, and a plan for the 100th episode. Drake's out on a birthday trip, so nobody's reviewing the food. Grab merch at gettinplace.com and use code HOOT for a free mystery koozie. Check out hootnandhollern.com for bios on the crew and their social links.

Bro Country: Who Killed Country Radio? Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey pour one out for country radio and try to pin down exactly when it all went sideways. What is bro country? A New York Magazine writer coined the term in 2013, but the guys trace the rot back much further — through Kenny Chesney's abs, Jason Aldean's dirt roads, and a fateful night watching Luke Bryan shake it for a tornado benefit crowd. Along the way they litigate whether Johnny Cash invented rap, why nobody puts effort into a chorus anymore, and how "Chicken Fried" became the most overrated song in the genre. It's not all hate, though. This is a safe space, and confessions get made: guilty-pleasure Sam Hunt deep cuts, Florida Georgia Line bangers, and at least one full-throated defense of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." Plus: award shows are a sham, Yellowstone is bro country in TV form, and we'd pay real money to watch Eminem battle Jason Aldean in a country-fried remake of 8 Mile. Grab a red Solo cup and settle in. 

VBS Fight Club Grab a Dixie cup of watered-down Kool-Aid and pull up a folding chair — this week the boys are digging into Vacation Bible School, that summertime rite of passage for every kid raised in a Southern Baptist stronghold. Matt, Eric, Drake, and Joey trace VBS from its surprising origins (a rented beer hall in New York City, believe it or not) all the way to today's megachurch productions with parking attendants and Monsters Inc. themed sanctuaries. Along the way they get into the stuff you actually remember: the sand-flavored cookies, the "spy Jesus" who crept around one church in a wig and a football jersey, the infamous Rickshaw Rally theme nobody wants to talk about anymore, human videos and white-glove dramatic dances, a pie-eating contest gone wrong, and yes — the kid who tried to start a fight club in the middle of VBS. Plus getting dragged to the altar for admitting you don't like reading the Bible, and one unforgettable gravel-slinging exit from the church parking lot. Was the slapped-together backwoods VBS of the old days better than the polished version kids get now? The fellas hash it out. New episodes every week — if you enjoy it, do us a favor and subscribe.

Go to Church or the Devil'll Get You Pull over, we're stopping. This week the boys are riding shotgun through the South's greatest (and grimmest) roadside attractions — the giant Tin Man outside Demopolis, W.C. Rice's Cross Garden, the chrome bumper chicken, and that peach water tower that looks suspiciously like a butt. We rank the go-to stops (Peach Park cobbler, forever), crown the most overrated (sorry, Biltmore), and settle whether a man standing on his porch counts as a landmark. From See Rock City barns to Buc-ee's, Ruby Falls to a $15 mud house in the middle of Colorado, it's a love letter to every billboard that ever talked you into pulling off the interstate. Grab a bag of boiled peanuts and ride along. New episodes every week. If we're your favorite roadside attraction, do us a favor and hit subscribe.