How to Connect With Anyone | Charles Duhigg

Being a super-communicator isn’t a gift, it’s a skill anyone can learn.Ever wish you were the person who could talk to anyone with ease? Like anyone you came in contact with became instant friends, confidantes, or trusted allies and collaborators. Turns out, this superpower is not something you’re born with, it's something you can learn. This episode shows you how. Our guest is Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter for The New York Times and the best-selling author of The Power of Habit and his book, Supercommunicators.In this conversation, you’ll learn:The "Matching Principle" that determines if a conversation succeeds or fails3 distinct types of conversations and how to identify which one you’re actually inThe "Heard, Hugged, or Helped" framework for navigating emotional conflict with easeA secret CIA recruitment strategy for building instant trust with complete strangersThe power of "deep questions" to bypass small talk and reach the heart of any matterIf you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling disconnected, it's time to learn the rules of the game. Listen to this episode to transform your relationships and become a supercommunicator today.You can find Charles at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a conversation with Krista and Will Vanderveer. We’ll be talking about how to make the 'invisible' rules in your relationship visible so you can stop walking on eggshells and start leading together.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you know when to leave a job or relationship? Look for the jolts.Ready to quit your job but unsure if it’s right? A single comment, missed opportunity, or subtle slight can suddenly make everything feel different. But is it really time to leave, or is something deeper happening?We’ve all had that moment when work or even a relationship feels off. Maybe it’s a meeting that hits differently, a colleague who leaves, or a new role that doesn’t match what was promised. In this conversation, you’ll learn why these moments feel so powerful, and how to respond with clarity instead of impulse.Anthony Klotz is a professor of organizational behavior at the UCL School of Management and the researcher who predicted the Great Resignation. An award-winning scholar on the psychology of work and author of Jolted: Why We Quit, When to Stay, and Why It Matters, he studies why we leave jobs, why we stay, and how major career decisions shape our lives.In this episode, you’ll discover:The hidden psychological trigger that explains why a small workplace moment can suddenly feel career-alteringA simple diagnostic process to determine whether it’s truly time to quit, or time to recalibrateThe surprising reason the first year in a new job is the most likely time to leaveHow “quiet quitting” can be reframed as a strategic reset instead of disengagementThe overlooked cost of leaving, including the social capital and goodwill you may not realize you’re giving upIf you’re questioning your job, wrestling with burnout, or navigating uncertainty about your career path, this conversation will help you slow down, think clearly, and make a wiser next move.You can find Anthony at: Website | LinkedIn | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Charles Duhigg about the hidden science of why our best advice often backfires, and how to finally feel truly understood by the people you love.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your mind is under siege. Every day, technology and noise fight to hijack your attention, leaving you feeling less present and more distracted than ever. In a word, unconscious.It’s time to stop the scroll and reclaim the most precious thing you own: your consciousness. Learn how to build "consciousness hygiene" and protect the privacy of your own mind. Today we are joined by legendary author Michael Pollan. Michael is a ten-time New York Times bestseller and one of Time’s 100 most influential people, known for his deep dives into food and psychedelics. He joins us to discuss his latest journey into the mystery of awareness, featured in his new book, A World Appears: A Journey into Consciousness.We explore:The "Four-Second Gap": A startling discovery about how your thoughts actually enter your awareness before you even "think" them. Lantern vs. Spotlight: Why your childhood way of seeing the world is the key to unlocking creativity in adulthood. The Chemical Genius of Plants: The surprising way roots and leaves make "intelligent" decisions without a single neuron. Bioelectric Body Maps: Why trauma and memory might be stored in your cells rather than just your brain. The "Thief in the House" Exercise: A simple mental framework to instantly quiet the critical voice of the ego. We spend so much of our lives distracted, but you don't have to stay that way. Play this episode to learn how to be fully present for the life you’re actually living.You can find Michael at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a conversation with Anthony Klotz about why we quit, when to stay, and how to make wiser decisions when work just suddenly feels off, or relationships, or really just life.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your kids leaving isn’t an ending; it’s an open door to a more intentional version of you. Many of us spend decades organizing our entire identities around our children, only to feel a staggering sense of loss when the house goes quiet.In this conversation, we explore why the term "empty nest" is so limiting and how to navigate the "forced reckoning" of midlife transitions without losing your sense of purpose.My guest is Gretchen Rubin, one of the world's most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She is the author of multiple New York Times bestsellers including The Happiness Project and Life in Five Senses, and the host of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast.What you’ll discover in this episode:A simple linguistic shift that changes how you view your children’s independenceThe "Book vs. Tree" personality framework that explains why you and your partner might be clashing over the futureA 30-second "identity test" to see if you are at risk for a rocky life transitionThe "Minimum Acceptable Contact" rule for keeping a healthy bond with adult children without oversteppingHow to use "clutter clues" to rediscover a passion you abandoned years agoIf you’ve ever felt like your world is shrinking as your children’s worlds expand, this conversation offers the roadmap to reclaim your space and your joy. Press play to start your next chapter.You can find Gretchen at: Website | Instagram | Happier with Gretchen Rubin - Podcast | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Michael Pollan about the elusive nature of consciousness and why it is currently under siege. Michael shares why our awareness is the most precious thing we own and how we can reclaim our attention in an age of constant distraction.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tired of saying yes when you mean no and feeling resentful later? In this powerful compilation episode, you’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries without guilt, conflict, or losing the people you care about.If you’re exhausted from overgiving, overworking, people-pleasing, or overfunctioning, this conversation will feel deeply familiar. We explore why so many high-functioning adults struggle to communicate limits and how small, clear boundary shifts can radically change your relationships, work life, and inner peace.Today’s episode features insights from therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, and psychotherapist and relationship expert Terri Cole, author of Boundary Boss. Together, they unpack the psychology of boundaries, codependency, people-pleasing, and how to finally talk true and live free.In this episode, you’ll discover:A one-sentence boundary formula that prevents arguments and shuts down guilt spiralsThe hidden secondary gain that keeps you stuck in overgiving and overfunctioningThe six dysfunctional boundary styles and how to identify your “boundary blueprint”A simple way to set time boundaries at work without risking your jobPractical scripts you can use when someone asks intrusive questions or ignores your limitsIf you’re ready to stop feeling unseen, stretched thin, or quietly resentful, press play and learn how to create the boundaries that make a good life possible.Episode TranscriptYou can find Nedra at: Website | InstagramYou can find Terri at: Website | Instagram | Discover Your Secondary Gain | The Terri Cole ShowNext week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Gretchen Rubin about what actually happens when kids leave home and how that season reshapes identity, relationships, and purpose.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trying to eliminate anxiety can make it worse. Do this instead…If you wake up with a tight chest, a racing mind, or a constant sense of unease, this conversation offers clarity, relief, and a more grounded way forward.In this episode, we unpack what anxiety actually is, why it shows up the way it does, and how to tell the difference between normal anxiety and anxiety that starts running, or even ruining your life. You’ll learn how fear, uncertainty, and your nervous system interact, and why trying to eliminate anxiety often makes it worse.Dr. Tracey Marks is a psychiatrist, mental health educator, and creator of one of the most trusted science-based mental health platforms online. With over twenty years of clinical experience, she translates neuroscience into practical tools, and she’s the author of Why Am I So Anxious? Powerful Tools for Recognizing Anxiety and Restoring Your Peace.In this conversation, you’ll discoverHow to tell when anxiety is helping you versus quietly harming youA simple way to recognize when worry has crossed into catastrophizingWhy anxiety can feel physical even when medical tests come back normalThe overlooked body-based tools that calm your nervous system naturallyA healthier expectation for anxiety that makes it easier to live withAnxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. But ignoring how it works can keep you stuck. Press play to understand what your mind and body are asking for, and learn how to respond with more clarity and self-trust.You can find Tracey at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Nedra Glover Tawwab and Terri Cole about life-changing boundaries, how to say no without guilt, and how to stop overgiving.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your brain isn’t breaking. It’s rewiring in ways no one explained, and for many women, menopause is the moment everything suddenly feels unfamiliar.Brain fog, sleep disruption, anxiety, memory lapses, and feeling unlike yourself can be deeply unsettling, especially when no one has given you a framework for what’s happening. In this conversation, we explore the science behind midlife brain changes and why menopause is a neurological transition, not a personal failure.Dr. Lisa Mosconi is an associate professor of Neuroscience in Neurology and Radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine and director of the Alzheimer’s Prevention Program and the Women’s Brain Initiative. She is a world-renowned neuroscientist and the New York Times bestselling author of The Menopause Brain.In this episode, you’ll discover • Why Alzheimer’s risk begins in midlife, not old age • What estrogen actually does in the brain and why its shift matters • The hidden reason brain fog and mood changes show up during menopause • How the brain adapts and rebuilds after hormonal change • What science currently says about hormone therapy and brain healthMenopause can feel confusing and isolating, but understanding what your brain is doing can replace fear with clarity. Listen to learn how to navigate this transition with more confidence, compassion, and agency.You can find Lisa at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with psychiatrist and mental health educator Dr. Tracey Marks about what anxiety really is, why it feels so physical, and how understanding your brain can help you feel steadier and more at ease.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The deeper the love, the more uncomfortable it gets, and learning how to work with that truth may change the way you relate forever.If you’ve ever wondered why love sometimes feels harder over time, why irritation replaces ease, or why closeness can feel strangely destabilizing, this conversation offers a grounded and deeply wise and kind perspective. Rather than trying to fix or escape discomfort, you’ll learn how meeting it together can actually deepen intimacy and connection.In this Best of episode, Jonathan sits down with writer and meditation teacher Susan Piver, New York Times bestselling author of The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships. Susan has studied Buddhism for more than 30 years and founded The Open Heart Project, an online dharma community with nearly 20,000 members.In this conversation, you’ll discover:A simple reframe that explains why love feels hardest with the people we care about mostHow discomfort can become a doorway to deeper intimacy rather than a sign that something’s wrongThe subtle way self-criticism quietly shapes how we treat our partnersA powerful alternative to blame that changes how conflict unfoldsWhy intimacy can deepen even when romance naturally fadesLove isn’t meant to be comfortable or predictable. It’s meant to be alive. Press play to learn how to stay open, connected, and compassionate when relationships feel hardest.You can find Susan Piver at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Lisa Mosconi about women’s brain health, menopause, and what it all means for long-term cognitive wellbeing.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if excellence isn’t about winning, but becoming?For so many of us, the word excellence has become tangled up with perfectionism, obsession, and relentless hustle. No wonder it feels heavy, triggering, or out of reach.In this conversation, we explore a very different understanding of excellence, one rooted in meaning, care, and deep engagement. Together, we unpack why modern life makes it so hard to focus, why joy and rest are essential to growth, and how pursuing what truly matters can quietly reshape who you become.Brad Stulberg is a bestselling author, writer for The New York Times and Wall Street Journal, co-host of the podcast Excellence, Actually, and faculty member at the University of Michigan. His newest book is The Way of Excellence: A Guide to True Greatness and Deep Satisfaction in a Chaotic World.In this episode, you’ll discoverA powerful redefinition of excellence that frees you from perfectionismWhy mastery and mattering are essential for deep satisfactionA simple way to reclaim focus in a world designed to distract youHow joy, rest, and renewal fuel long-term growthA practical framework for balancing ambition with the rest of your lifeIf you’ve ever felt pulled to do meaningful work but exhausted by the way success is usually framed, this conversation offers a wiser, more human path forward. Press play to explore what excellence can become.You can find Brad at: Website | LinkedIn | Episode TranscriptNext week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Susan Piver about why love feels hard and how that discomfort can deepen intimacy. Follow the show in your favorite listening app so it’s right there when the episode drops.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When life upends everything, what still matters?When the future you assumed disappears, the questions get sharper. This conversation explores how meaning, values, and hope evolve when time feels uncertain and life breaks open in unexpected ways.In this deeply human and reflective episode, Jonathan Fields sits down with Lucy Kalanithi, a physician, storyteller, and Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at Stanford University. She is the widow of neurosurgeon and writer Paul Kalanithi, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller When Breath Becomes Air, for which Lucy wrote the unforgettable epilogue.Together, they explore what it means to live honestly in the presence of mortality, how our sense of time and identity shifts through loss, and how values can guide choices when certainty is gone.In this episode, you’ll discover:A simple but profound way to make decisions when the future feels unclearHow redefining hope can ease fear without denying realityWhy you cannot have everything, and how that clarity can be freeingA humane framework for navigating medical and life decisionsWhat it really means to build a life that fits who you areWhen life changes in ways you never expected, clarity does not come from control. It comes from listening more closely. Press play to explore what truly matters, and how to live with intention even when the path ahead is uncertain.You can find Lucy at: Website | Episode TranscriptNext week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Brad Stulberg about what excellence really is, and how pursuing it can help you feel more alive, not burned out. And don’t forget to follow the show in your favorite listening app.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.