When You've Done Everything "Right" and it's Still Not Working

In today’s Girls Night, we’re talking about what to do when you’ve done everything “right” and it’s still not working. Maybe you’ve followed the rules, made the plans, gone to therapy, prayed the prayers, checked all the boxes… and yet your life, career, relationships, or family story still don’t look anything like what you hoped for. It feels like you’re stuck in a giant “this is not what I ordered” moment, especially in this Everything Era where all the big decisions seem to pile up at once. As we wrap up this season of the show (and before I take a break from Girls Night for a good chunk of next year), I’m sharing two things I really want to leave you with: You get to want what you want. You have more agency than it feels like you do. I’ll read a section from my book, Create a Life You Love, and we’ll walk through practical tools for what to do when doors aren’t opening: when to quit, when to keep going, when to change tactics, how to invest in the life you have right now, and how to ask for help when you’re exhausted. If you’re looking around thinking, “I thought I’d be further along by now,” this episode is for you. You are not behind. You are not failing. And you’re not as stuck as you feel. 💛 Podcast Sponsors: - ⁠Antique Candle Co. ⁠ - ⁠BetterHelp⁠ - ⁠NIV Application Bible⁠ - ⁠Piper and Leaf - Please donate today at MercyShips.org/podcast - Visit OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off site-wide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code FUN at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Girls Night! We’re down to the final few episodes of the year, and today we’re diving into something so many of us feel this time of year but rarely say out loud: 👉 Why does the holiday season sometimes feel like one big “This is not what I ordered”? Maybe you thought you’d be spending Christmas with someone special this year, or reaching a goal you’d hoped to hit by December. Maybe family dynamics are messy or complicated, or your little family doesn’t look the way you imagined. Or maybe you had big dreams for a magical, cozy December… and somehow you slid into the holidays exhausted and overwhelmed, wondering where the magic went. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is absolutely for you. Today we’re asking two big questions: ✨ How do we set ourselves up for delight — not disappointment — this holiday season? ✨ And how do we make Christmas magical… when we’re the ones responsible for the magic now? We’ll talk about the moment you realize you’ve gone from experiencing Christmas to creating Christmas, why so many of us approach December like college finals week, and the gentle, intentional steps we can take to build a season we actually get to feel and enjoy. We’ll walk through: ⭐️ noticing the expectations we’re carrying ⭐️ choosing the few meaningful things that matter to us ⭐️ putting them on the calendar so they actually happen My hope is that this conversation feels freeing, grounding, and hopeful — like a deep breath in the middle of a busy month. You deserve to experience the magic you’re so faithfully creating, friend. Let’s build a December that feels more like the one our hearts have been longing for. Mentioned in this episode: 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/] 🌐 Website [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/] 💌 Join the Girls Night Community [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email] Podcast Sponsors: - ⁠Antique Candle Co. ⁠ - ⁠BetterHelp⁠ - ⁠NIV Application Bible⁠ - ⁠Piper and Leaf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Girls Night, we’re doing something a little different — and incredibly special. As my twins turn five (how?!), I’ve been reflecting on everything I wish I could go back and tell myself before becoming a mom. The fears, the hopes, the questions, the emotions — the moments when I looked around and thought, “This is not what I ordered.” So in today’s episode, I’m sharing four letters I wrote to the woman I was before motherhood — the woman who was wondering… 💌 Who will I be after I become a mom? 💌 What will kids do to our marriage? 💌 What if something goes wrong? What if the world is too scary? 💌 What if I mess this up? If you’re planning, trying, pregnant, or simply wondering if you’ll ever feel “ready,” these letters are for you. They’re honest, tender, hopeful, and full of the things I wish someone would have told me years ago. We’ll talk about what actually happens to your identity, how marriage shifts (and strengthens), how to navigate fear in a world that feels overwhelming, and why motherhood isn’t something you download — it’s something you grow into. And if these letters resonate with you, you can get the full series for free at StephanieMayWilson.com/letters — they’re yours to keep or share with a friend who needs them. At the end of the episode, I’ll also share more about Becoming Mama — the course my best friend Kelsey (a brilliant therapist) and I created to help you prepare emotionally, mentally, and practically for this huge transition. It’s the roadmap we wish we’d had, and enrollment is open for just a few more days. Wherever you are on the path to motherhood, friend — you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. Mentioned in this episode: 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/] 🌐 Website [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/] 💌 Join the Girls Night Community [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email] Podcast Sponsors: - Antique Candle Co. - BetterHelp - NIV Application Bible - Piper and Leaf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All season long, we’ve been talking about what I call The Everything Era—that season when you have to make so many of the biggest, most consequential decisions of your life all at once. It’s full of possibility, but it’s also full of pressure—especially when some of those decisions don’t seem to fit together very well. And one of the trickiest examples of that is the tension between career and motherhood. What happens when the rhythm that used to work suddenly doesn’t anymore? When the version of success you used to chase doesn’t quite fit the life you have now? Or when your family needs you in one way, but your career seems to demand something entirely different? My guest today is Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids—and Come Back Stronger Than Ever. Through her work, Neha is helping women rethink what it means to take a pause in their careers after having kids—showing that stepping back doesn’t mean stepping away from your ambition. She’s helping us reimagine this in-between space as a powerful, intentional season of reflection and realignment—a chance to build a life and career that actually work together, not against each other. Whether you’re already a mom, planning for motherhood, or just thinking about what your next chapter might hold, this conversation will give you permission to press pause—not out of fear or failure, but as a power move. Alright friends, let’s dive in. Here’s my conversation with Neha Ruch. Mentioned in this episode: 💛 The Power Pause 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/] 📸 Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/neha_ruch] 🌐 Website [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/] 💌 Join the Girls Night Community [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes life doesn’t go the way we planned. The job ends, the relationship shifts, the dream unravels — and we’re left standing in the in-between, wondering how to trust again. In this episode of our Not the Life I Ordered series, we’re talking about what it looks like to start dreaming again after disappointment. We’ll talk about rebuilding hope, rediscovering curiosity, and learning to believe that the story of your life might still turn out beautifully — even if it looks nothing like you imagined. Mentioned in this episode: 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/] 🌐 Website [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/] 💌 Join the Girls Night Community [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been feeling disconnected lately — like everyone else has their people and somehow you just… don’t — you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re talking about why friendships fade, why loneliness doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you, and how to start again. Stephanie shares the five most common kinds of disconnection, what science says about why friendship really matters, and a simple recipe for rebuilding the kind of circle every woman needs. 💛 Listen in, share this episode with a friend who might need it too, and remember: you’re not behind — you’re just between circles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This season, we’ve been talking about what to do when you look around at your life and think, “Wait… this is not what I ordered.” Maybe things didn’t turn out the way you thought they would — and now you’re asking those big, scary, beautiful questions: Who am I now? What do I want? Where do I go from here? But for a lot of us who grew up in church, those questions can feel… complicated. Because somewhere along the way, we were taught that it’s wrong to want things. That it’s dangerous to trust ourselves. That being a “good Christian woman” means making yourself smaller — dying to yourself, staying quiet, and serving everyone else first. Today we’re having a conversation I think so many of us need — about what faith actually asks of us. Our guest is Dr. Alison Cook, a therapist, host of The Best of You podcast, and author of the bestselling book by the same name. Alison is an expert at the intersection of faith and psychology. She helps women heal from past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and experience a loving God who is for them — not asking them to disappear. We’re going to talk about what self-denial really means, how to know when faith has turned into self-erasure, and what it looks like to follow Jesus without losing yourself in the process. You ready? Let’s jump into my conversation with Alison! Mentioned in this episode: 💛 Love Your Single Life [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/singlelife] 💛 Just Married [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/justmarried] 💛 Becoming Mama [https://stephaniemaywilson.com/becomingmama] 🛒 Stephanie’s Journals & Guides [https://stephaniemaywilsonshop.com/] Stay connected: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smaywilson/ | https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ 🌐 Website: https://stephaniemaywilson.com/ 💌 Join the Girls Night Community: https://stephaniemaywilson.com/email Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever woken up one day and thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore?” Maybe it’s after motherhood, a breakup, a big move, burnout, or even after finally reaching a goal you worked so hard for — and suddenly realizing it doesn’t feel the way you thought it would. Somewhere along the way, between the to-do lists and expectations, you lost touch with the person underneath it all. In this episode, we’re talking about how to find your way back. 💛 We’ll talk about: ✨ Why we lose touch with ourselves (and why it’s not a failure — it’s human) ✨ How to start hearing your own voice again ✨ Practical ways to rediscover what you love, need, and value in this season ✨ How to rebuild a life that feels like peace on the inside, not just success on the outside This isn’t a “self-care” conversation — it’s a coming home to yourself conversation. If you’ve been on autopilot, feeling disconnected from who you are, this episode will help you start to find your way back — gently, honestly, one small step at a time. So grab a cozy drink and join me — let’s reintroduce you to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Girls Night, we’re asking one of the biggest — and maybe most important — questions we can ask ourselves: Do you like your life? And even more — do you believe you’re allowed to? So many of us have followed all the rules, checked all the boxes, and built the kind of life we thought we were supposed to want — only to look around and wonder why it doesn’t feel like home. In this episode, we’re slowing down, taking inventory, and learning how to remodel the parts of our lives that no longer fit. We’ll walk room-by-room through your “life house” — your relationships, your body, your work, your faith, your family, your joy — and ask some simple but powerful questions: 👉 Does this still fit me? 👉 Do I like it? 👉 What might need to change? This isn’t about burning it all down. It’s about noticing what’s working, what’s not, and making small, thoughtful changes that help your life feel like you again. If you’ve been trudging along a path that feels uphill and exhausting, this episode will help you find a new route — one that’s easier, freer, and a lot more beautiful. Resources Mentioned: Love Your Single Life Just Married Becoming Mama Stephanie’s Journals & Guides Let’s be friends! Instagram Website Join the Girls Night Community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like you were doing everything “right” — checking every box, following every rule — and still ending up restless, disappointed, or wondering, Is this really the life I want? In today’s episode, we’re talking about something many of us rule-followers were never taught how to do: questioning authority. We’ll unpack: Where the formulas and “life scripts” we’ve been following actually came from How to recognize when a leader, community, or cultural voice doesn’t deserve authority in your life A practical vetting process for deciding who should get a seat at your table What to do when a leader you trusted lets you down How to quiet the noise of other people’s expectations and hear your own voice again If you’ve ever felt crushed by the weight of doing what you’re “supposed” to do, this episode will help you take a deep breath, release the old scripts, and start writing a life that truly fits. ✨ Resources & Links 📘 Create a Life You Love (my newest book) 💻 My online courses & journals 💍 Newlywed couples course — Just Married: StephanieMayWilson.com/JustMarried ❤️ Free resource to find a counselor you can trust: StephanieMayWilson.com/Counseling Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss what’s ahead this season — because together we’re going to keep unpacking how to let go of other people’s expectations and rebuild a life that feels like home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices