Girls Night #239: How to Stay Informed and Make a Difference (Without Getting Crushed by all the Bad News) — with Danielle Coke Balfour

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! I’m so excited about today’s episode. Today we’re talking about how to decorate your home (when you’re not a professional home designer). Decorating a home can feel challenging because there are so many different components to consider, but, like most things in life, there are some guidelines we can follow to help make things a little bit easier!  To walk us through this, I invited a Girls Night favorite back on the show and that’s my dear friend and home design enthusiast, Myquillyn Smith. Myquillyn, also known on social media as “The Nester,”  believes every home has a silver lining. She's created a beautiful home in 15 different houses and she loves teaching how to create beauty in imperfect circumstances. She recently wrote a book called, House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget. In it, she shares 100 universal decorating truths that apply to every house. One of my favorite rules that she shares is, “you can’t ruin something you already hate” — more about that in the episode!  This episode inspired me to look at my home through a new lens and I hope it does the same for you! Ready? Let’s dive in!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! I’m so excited about today’s episode. Today you’ll hear the advice I WISH I would have had when I was single. Today’s episode is going to look a little different than usual. If you’ve been around our Girls Night community for a while, you know that it’s girls only. (With the occasional exception of my husband Carl). Today, we’re breaking that rule — but I promise it’s for a really good reason! Our guest for today’s episode is my long-time friend, Ryan Wekenman. Ryan and I met back in college at a campus ministry we were both a part of, but today he’s the teaching pastor at a church called Red Rocks Austin. He recently wrote an incredible book called, Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are. In this episode, Ryan is sharing his journey as an unmarried pastor for over a decade. He has such a unique perspective on this topic and I knew we needed to have him on! Ryan is the REAL DEAL.  He’ll talk us through some of the biggest struggles we all face when we’re single — “How do I respond to a relative who keeps nagging me about my relationship status?” “How do I stop comparing my timeline to the other people in my life?” “Can I experience intimacy even as a single person?” “Is there something wrong with me for wanting to be single?” or “Is there something wrong with me because I’m not married yet?” And that’s just the beginning!  If you’re a single person in your twenties or thirties, I hope this episode will bring you so much encouragement and remind you that you’re not alone!  Okay, ready? Let’s dive into my conversation with Ryan! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! I’m so excited about today’s episode. Today we’re talking about why your 20s & 30s are some of the most important years of your life and how you can make the most of them!  To walk us through this, I invited none other than the twentysomethings expert herself, Dr. Meg Jay. Meg Jay is a clinical psychologist and author who specializes in twentysomethings. I read her book, The Defining Decade, about a decade ago, and it totally changed my life. And she actually has a new book releasing this week called, The Twentysomething Treatment which is about young adult mental health — I cannot wait for you to hear more about it!  In our conversation, Meg is teaching us why the twentysomething (and thirtysomething) years are so critical in shaping who we are. Along with that, she’s sharing her research on the young adult mental health crisis in America and her best solutions for improving your mental health, and your life in general!  My hope is that you’ll walk out of this episode feeling less alone knowing that it’s totally normal to struggle with life in your 20s or 30s, but also, feeling so equipped to take your next steps forward. You don’t have to do this alone! Okay, you ready? Here’s my conversation with Meg! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! As you may know, I have a new book coming out soon called Create a Life You Love and in it I tackle what I call the Everything Era — that wildly confusing decade-ish where we have to make some of the most significant decisions of our lives, typically all at the same time. I've spent the last 10 years wrestling with these big life decisions and the pressure that comes with them — and I've talked to countless women who are doing the same. But I didn't know it was a thing — actually a thing — until two years ago when I heard a statistic I will never, ever forget. In a rare study of life-span development, researchers at Boston University and the University of Michigan found that 80% of our life’s most defining moments happen before we turn 35. In fact, the average woman makes the majority of her biggest life decisions in the decade between her 25th and 35th (ish) birthdays. So… I wasn't exaggerating, it wasn't my imagination, this season of life is actually as big, and hard, and consequential as it feels. So that's when I started to dig. I needed more information. I wanted to know more about what's happening in us during these years, and what's happening around us. I also started to wonder what these years have looked like for the generations of women who have gone before us, because I realized I didn't actually know. I have learned SO MUCH as I’ve heard stories of women from past generations. The more I’ve learned about women’s history, the more I understand why our lives look the way they do today. This is why I’m so excited to introduce you to today’s guest! Our guest for today’s episode is my new friend, Sarah Gristwood. Sarah is a former film journalist and now writes books about women’s history. Her most recent is called, Secret Voices: A Year of Women’s Diaries. In it, she analyzes a collection of excerpts from women’s diaries, looking back over four centuries to discover how women’s experience—of men and children, sex and shopping, work and the natural world—has changed down the years. And, of course, how it hasn’t. I LOVED this conversation, and I can’t wait for you to hear it. Before we dive in, I wanted to read you just a little snippet of my new book, Create A Life You Love — because in it, I explain why learning about women’s history has meant so much to me. “Recognizing the pressures women have been under throughout history helps me feel like I’m not alone. I’m part of a large sisterhood, and I’m honored to be. This truth is especially helpful to me during times when I start to wonder if the pressure I’m feeling is imagined—if the expectations I’m sensing are really as heavy and forceful as they feel. As I look back at the centuries of pressure and expectations and opinions about women’s lives and how they should spend them, I see that yes, this actually is as big as it feels. And that’s so validating. It helps me be kinder to myself as I navigate all of this. I hope it helps you too.” “Not only is it helpful for me to know that this pressure isn’t new—that women have always had people breathing down their necks telling them what they should do and how they should live—but also, the more I find out about the expectations placed on women throughout history, the more I understand why some of the decisions I’m trying to make in my own life today feel so heavy.” You guys, Sarah is the best. I can’t wait for you to meet her. You ready? Let’s dive in.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! Today’s episode is going to be a little different than usual! A few weeks ago, my new friend, Jacqueline Genova, invited me to be a guest on her podcast called How to be Wellnstrong. We talked about all different types of transitions women face in their 20s and 30s — and we talked so much about dating and breakups and what I wish I could go back and tell myself in the midst of all of that. I loved our conversation so much, I asked Jacqueline if I could share it here with you guys! She was so gracious to say yes and so that’s the episode you’ll hear today! Jacqueline is in the interview chair, and I’m answering the questions! We’re going to be talking about… How to heal from a hard breakup What to do if your friend gets into a relationship or marriage before you do How to be happy for your friends even when you’re still waiting How to navigate the dating scene Why you should give online dating another try And that’s just the beginning! I’m so excited to share this conversation with you!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! On the show today, we’re talking about how to decide if you should stay where you are, move to a new city, or move back home.  To walk us through this I invited my dear friend, book editor, and now literary agent, Carly Kellerman, to join us! In this episode, Carly is sharing the story of leaving her home and community in Michigan for a season to move to Nashville. She was leaving SO much behind with that move — a support system and a home she LOVED — but she’ll say that leaving it all behind for a season was one of the best decisions she ever made. I can’t wait for you to hear why. But then, we’re talking about the decision she made a handful of years later to move back home and she walks us through the expectations and fears and insecurities she had to overcome when making that decision. Friends, if you’ve ever contemplated moving to a new city or moving back home, but you’re not sure what your next steps should be, this conversation is for you!  One of my favorite things Carly says in the episode is this: "You have to take the steps in front of you and do it with boldness and hope and strategy and faith." Yes to that! You ready? Let’s dive in!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! Today we’re talking about how to know if it’s time for us to stay or time for us to go. I love this topic, because if you’re anything like me, this is a question you’ve come to over and over again throughout your life. Should you stay in the relationship, or is it time to go? What about the job? What about your hometown? What about this new opportunity you didn’t see coming, but now can’t stop thinking about? These moments are so intimidating, because in a lot of ways, it feels like the fate of our future hangs in the balance. It feels like with one little decision, we might just ruin everything. Or maybe that’s just me. I couldn’t think of a better person to walk us through this than my dear friend, Emily P Freeman! Emily is someone I have looked up to for years and years. She’s an author, podcaster, spiritual director and workshop leader. Her most important work is helping to create soul space and offering spiritual companionship and discernment for anyone struggling with decision fatigue. She recently wrote a new book called, How to Walk into a Room: The Art of Knowing When to Stay and When to Walk Away, and that’s what we’re talking about today! In this episode, Emily is teaching us what caution flags to look for when we feel like it’s time to make a change, how to know the difference between readiness and timeliness, how to move forward after leaving something behind, why the right decision doesn’t always feel comfortable, and so much more! This conversation felt like the biggest hug and was truly so encouraging. So grab your coziest blanket and your favorite notebook and let’s dive in!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! I’m so excited about today’s episode. Today we’re talking about how to make decisions in pregnancy and in the first few months after your baby is born. There are so many myths and misconceptions floating around, and today we’re going to work through some of them. In the first few months after my girls were born, I spent so much time Googling — wondering, when does this get easier, am I doing this right? Am I going to mess up my kids? Should I do this or this? Should I choose this option or this one? I was totally overwhelmed by the responses to my google searches — one because there were about a MILLION of them. It’s so great to live in an age where the wisdom of the world is at our fingertips, but when you’re exhausted and already overwhelmed, that amount of information can be a lot. To make it even harder is the fact that a lot of it conflicts! People have different ideas about the right way to do things, and so in this episode, we’re going to talk about how to filter through that information and figure out what’s right for you and for your particular family. Our guest for today’s episode is my new friend, Emily Oster. Emily is a New York Times best-selling author, Professor of Economics at Brown University, and founder and CEO of ParentData, a data-driven guide to pregnancy, parenting, and more!  I’ve been following Emily’s work for years, and when I tell you that she changed (and maybe even saved) my life as a mom, that’s not an exaggeration. She is my #1 go-to source for parenting information. Emily’s science-backed resources and research have given me so much peace of mind, especially in the early stages of motherhood, and my hope is that she can do the same for you! You ready? Let’s dive in! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! Today we’re continuing our brand new series on the Girls Night Podcast called, “How She Does It.”  Once a month we do a profile of a woman who’s living a beautifully, unique life and we'll get to hear the behind-the-scenes of how she does it. We’ll also talk about what things she does or, maybe more importantly, doesn’t do to make it all happen! The idea for this series came to me while I was writing my new book, Create A Life You Love, and so I want to read you the passage that inspired it. Over the years, I’ve spent more and more time looking for women who are breaking the mold—creating lives that look like them and feel like them and work for them. And the more I see, the more I notice, the more empowered I feel to create my own life in a way that’s a little different, a little outside the lines, but that looks like me, feels like me, and works for me and my family. — Create a life you love That's my hope for these episodes.  Y’all, I’m so excited about today’s “How She Does it” guest. I’m talking with my new friend, and someone I’ve looked up to… you know… for just about ever — Savannah Gutherie. Savannah is the co-anchor of the Today Show, she’s NBC News' chief legal correspondent and she’s a primary anchor for the network's election coverage. (Casual, right?) Guys, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that this is one of my favorite conversations I’ve ever had. It was so encouraging personally and professionally for me and I know it will be for you too. In this episode you’ll get to hear Savannah’s career backstory — the twists and turns and detours that led to where she is today. I walked away so encouraged and inspired, and I know you will too.  So, you ready to dive in?  Here’s my conversation with Savannah Guthrie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! I’m looking forward to today’s episode because this is a topic I think all of us need to hear. Today we’re talking about how to stay hopeful when there’s so much bad news in the world, how we can stay informed without being totally crushed in the process. We’re also talking about how we can all help make positive change in our world and in our communities. To help us with this, I invited my dear friend, Danielle Coke Balfour back on the show! Dani is a graphic designer turned artist, advocate, speaker, and entrepreneur. She’s the founder of Oh Happy Dani, an illustration-based educational platform that uses artwork and resources to make complex ideas more accessible and help others seek justice while staying hopeful. She recently wrote an incredible book called, A Heart on Fire: 100 Meditations on Loving Your Neighbors Well. This is something we all need, especially with everything happening in our world right now.  Here are a few of the things she’s going to teach us in this episode: How to process all the bad news when it feels like the world around us is falling apart How to figure out what we actually can and should do and what’s within our sphere of influence Practical things we can do with our influence, time, and money How to stay informed without damaging our mental and emotional health And more!  Friends, if you’re feeling discouraged by all of the bad news and tragic events happening in our world, you’re not alone. But amazing women like Dani are teaching us how to stay hopeful and take action and that’s why I’m so excited for you to hear this conversation! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices