275: Two Types of Intimacy You've Never Heard About

Most couples think intimacy is about communication or affection, but there are actually two different types of intimacy operating beneath the surface of every marriage. Chances are, you've only been using one of them… and it's the one that keeps you stuck. In this episode, we break down the difference between other-validated intimacy and self-validated intimacy, and why shifting what type you develop can change everything about how you talk, connect, and experience sex in your marriage. In this episode, we cover: What the two types of intimacy actually are Why one leads to emotional gridlock Why the other opens the door to deeper connection How validation (or lack of it) affects both emotional and sexual intimacy Real-life examples from couples who transformed their connection The spiritual root of self-validated intimacy How your emotional reactivity is shaping your marriage Five practical ways to build self-validated intimacy today If you've ever wanted deeper conversation, more ease, or a more meaningful sexual connection, this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air. Resources and Events: Apply for the next Get Your Marriage On! Program: getyourmarriageon.com/program In-Person Retreat April 2025 (We're sold out, but you can apply to get on the waitlist!) NEW Get Your Marriage On! Cruise: October 2026  Valentine's Day Weekend Virtual Retreat Men's and Women's Only Cohorts starting in January! Stand by for more information coming soon!

In today's episode, Dr. Corey Allen joins us for a deep dive into fictional, but incredibly common, marriage scenarios that reveal surprising truths about desire, conflict, and emotional maturity. We explore how sexual and relational struggles aren't mistakes—they are intentional invitations to grow up, become more courageous, and see our spouse more clearly. In this episode, we cover: Why sexual struggles are built into the work of marriage How meanings—not the issue itself—drive most conflicts How to own your part in the marriage Why many husbands unconsciously hedge their investment The danger of "minimum requirement" sex What real married love is What is actually better than "being happy" in marriage If you're ready to see your marriage challenges from a whole new angle, this episode will change the way you think about intimacy and growth and the purpose of marriage.  Links Mentioned: Apply for the next Get Your Marriage On! Program: getyourmarriageon.com/program Learn more about Dr. Corey Allen: SMR.fm (Sexy Marriage Radio) Events: In-Person Retreat April 2025 (We're sold out, but you can apply to get on the waitlist!) NEW Get Your Marriage On! Cruise: October 2026    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

Money and intimacy have more in common than most couples realize. In this episode, we sit down with financial coach Dan Ockey to talk about financial intimacy — how the way you manage money together reflects the way you handle trust, communication, and teamwork in every other area of your marriage (yes, even the bedroom). You'll hear Dan Ockey's incredible story of turning debt, secrecy, and shame into a story of honesty, unity, and freedom — and how money challenges can actually strengthen your relationship if you face them together. In this episode: How financial habits mirror sexual habits in marriage Why secrecy and pride around money create the same distance as sexual disconnection Simple mindset shifts that restore trust and teamwork If you've ever argued about money, felt shame around spending, or struggled to get on the same page with your spouse — this episode will help you see finances not as a source of stress, but as a powerful tool for connection and intimacy. 👉 Learn more about Dan Oakey and Sensei Financial at www.centseifinance.com 👉 Apply for the Get Your Marriage On! coaching program at getyourmarriageon.com/program   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Welcome to Part 2 of this special series on keeping your penis — and your marriage — healthy and happy. In this follow-up episode, we the practical side of sexual health: testosterone, nutrition, porn use, sleep, and yes… penis size. (Spoiler: your wife does care about your size, but it might not be in the area that you think.) You'll learn: The truth about testosterone and how to boost it naturally The best foods for stronger erections How porn impacts sexual performance and confidence What's actually normal when it comes to size What your penis does while you sleep We hope you benefit as we throw a little humor in with the science and practical wisdom to help you stay healthy, confident, and connected for years to come. 💡 Want help creating a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse? Check out our coaching program: getyourmarriageon.com/program

Let's talk about one of God's most incredible and misunderstood designs — the penis. In this episode (part one of two) we dive into the fascinating science behind erections — what makes them work, what shuts them down, and what you can do to keep things running at full power. From brain chemistry to heart health, this episode will change how you think about arousal, masculinity, and pleasure in marriage. It's science, humor, and hope — all rolled into one episode that'll help you appreciate just how wonderfully (and hilariously) you're made. And don't miss part two where we tackle testosterone, penis size, and porn. This episode was inspired in part by The Penis Book by Dr. Aaron Spitz 💡 Want to improve connection and sexual confidence in your marriage? Visit getyourmarriageon.com/program

What happens when your marriage feels impossible to sustain—but you believe God still has a plan? In this powerful episode, we sit down with author and speaker Laurie Krieg, who shares her story of navigating a mixed-orientation marriage, wrestling with faith, desire, trauma, and the transformation that followed. In this episode, we cover: Laurie's honest story of same-sex attraction and her decision to marry a man What it means to trust God when your marriage feels "impossible" Trauma, Jesus, and the healing process Practical ways to love your spouse through pain What Christians can do better to love and support LGBTQ+ individuals and families This episode will stretch your compassion, deepen your faith, and remind you that every marriage—no matter the struggle—can be a place of redemption and growth.   Resources: 👉 Get our free training about how to get your marriage unstuck. 👉 Apply for our amazing couples retreat coming up in the spring! 👉 And join our free private facebook group, Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this special Q&A episode, we answer five anonymous listener questions about the most common struggles couples face in their intimate lives. Topics we cover:  Healthy, uplifting alternatives to pornography for erotic inspiration Why some men struggle to orgasm from oral sex — and what helps Balancing strong sexual desire with your relationship with God How to get on the same page when you and your spouse want sex differently What to do when your own sexual desire feels low or disappears If you'd like to submit your questions for a future episode, submit your anonymous question on our website or in our private Facebook gorup. Mentioned in the episode: Episode #34: Horizontal vs Vertical Novelty Spring Couples Retreat Get Your Marriage On Program  

For so many Christian couples, sexuality and spirituality can feel like they're at odds. We've been taught that to be holy means to suppress desire—but what if our sexuality is actually one of the most powerful ways to love? In this deeply insightful episode, we talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about how to integrate faith, desire, and embodiment. We explore how repressing our sexuality keeps us disconnected, how true intimacy begins with self-honesty, and why learning to love through our sexuality is a profoundly spiritual act. You'll hear about: Why sexual integration, not suppression, leads to spiritual strength How ego, fear, and control distort connection—and what it means to love from the soul The difference between sex as validation vs. sex as communion How couples can cultivate that eros energy—aliveness, joy, and freedom—in their marriage Whether you've wrestled with shame around sexuality or you just want a richer, more connected relationship, this conversation will inspire you to see your body and your marriage in a whole new light. 👉 Check out Jennifer's brand new book, That We Might Have Joy.  👉 Get our free training about how to get your marriage unstuck. 👉 Apply for our amazing couples retreat coming up in the spring! 👉 And join our free private facebook group, Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy

Have you every received bad marriage advice? We sure have! In today's episode, I'm joined by my friend and returning guest, Monica Tanner. She recently released her book Bad Marriage Advice, and together we unpack some of the most common (and harmful) myths about marriage and sex and what the real advice should be. If you've ever wondered whether the "wisdom" you heard before your wedding day was worth following—or if you're trying to sort through conflicting advice about sex and intimacy—this episode is for you. 👉 Plus, Monica is giving away a copy of her new book in our private Facebook group, Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy.  And if you're ready to take your own intimacy to the next level, applications are now open for our in-person couples retreat. Four days at a private resort, with gourmet meals, expert coaching, outdoor adventures, and life-changing breakthroughs in your sex life. Details are at getyourmarriageon.com.

In this episode of Get Your Marriage On!, we're diving into gridlock—the moments in marriage where no matter what you choose, it feels like you lose. These conflicts can leave you wondering if you married the right person or why your spouse can't see things your way. But conflict itself isn't the problem—how you handle it is. And since sex is often the biggest source of gridlock, it can also be the greatest opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. We'll explore a real-life example of what happens when one spouse pressures the other with their sexual fantasies, and how that cycle of placating, resentment, and withdrawal can be transformed into honest intimacy instead. By the end, you'll see how even sexual disagreements can become invitations to stretch, grow, and build a more passionate, connected marriage. 👉 Want to go further? Download the Intimately Us app for more bedroom fun, and join our upcoming events and coaching programs to take your intimacy to the next level: Free Training Get Your Marriage On Program Free Facebook group: Christian Couples Improving Sex & Intimacy