118: Ep118: Why your controlling behaviour is ruining your relationship

Listen - it's a big deal, and if you don't get at least a little worried about closing the distance, you're in the minority. In this episode, Rich & Aindrea address a listener email about their worries and concerns about moving from the US to Denmark to close the distance with their boyfriend. 

We all think we know our partners and what our life with them is going to look like, at least to an extent. But what happens when your partner throws a curveball and makes a big announcement you never thought you'd hear? Maybe they're gay. Maybe they've decided the don't actually want kids or they want to change religion. Perhaps they want to drop everything and pursue a degree in a niche field that they can only do on a remote island in Indonesia. These things can shake your relationship to the core - so how do you handle it? And can you make it as a couple? This week, Rich & Aindrea discuss exactly that. 

Anyone going into an LDR needs to understand that certain things will be expected of them. Each long distance couple will need to agree on how much they expect to communicate with each other and see each other, and at the end of the day, being a considerate long distance partner means holding up your end of the bargain. In this episode, Aindrea & Rich dive into what that means. 

Relationships change over time and eventually, that constant need to have your hands all over one another begins to fade a bit. While that's normal, couples should make an effort to continue affection for the fun of it. In this episode, Rich & Aindrea talk about the power of (tasteful!) PDA, and the importance of continuing to be affectionate - just because - behind closed doors, as well. 

We all want certain areas of control in our lives - that's natural - and healthy to an extent! Having control over our health, welfare, finances and careers is something we should all strive towards. But what happens when our controlling behaviour starts to leak into other areas of our lives - specifically our relationships? The answer is that it can cause big problems and permanent damage if we're not careful. This week, Aindrea & Rich discuss what this controlling behaviour can look like, how to maintain balance and how to discuss issues with your partner in a non-controlling way. 

Off the back of a Tweet that Rich found addressing the emotional needs of men, in this episode, hosts Aindrea & Rich dive into the topic and ask: what about men? In a society that encourages toxic masculinity and then vilifies the very same thing, how and when are the emotional needs of men being ignored and not met? Is this issue at the root of the problem, and what can we do to address it? 

Couples, long distance or not, have all been affected by the pandemic. Our routines, habits and the things we enjoy doing together have all been turned upside down. So how do couples overcome this and still find ways to connect? Aindrea and Rich weigh in on the topic in this episode. 

... stay together. Or at least, Aindrea & Rich have certainly found that it adds value to their relationship. Whether working towards a common goal or challenge, or physically doing the same workouts together, dig into how facing fitness together can also make a positive difference in your own relationship - long distance or not. 

It's something we hear joked about a lot in pop culture - people "giving up" or "not making the effort" when it comes to themselves or their relationship. But these things are very real and they can affect our relationships in very real ways. At the end of the day, it never hurts to make a big more effort - even if you're already doing really well in your relationship. We can all offer a bit more. In this episode, Rich & Aindrea discuss how these issues can manifest and how to address them. 

It's important that couples have things they can enjoy together, but it's also important for each person to have their own hobbies and pursuits. What's even better is supporting your partner to enjoy those hobbies, when you're involved and when you're not. Tune in for more.