How to Handle Internet Trolls with Pat Flynn

Entrepreneur Magazine’s editor-in-chief, Jason Feifer, joins Jillian to give practical advice on how the greatest entrepreneurs deal with imposter syndrome. 

When your audience grows, so will your critics. Tori Dunlap shares how she stays bold and vulnerable for her community, even when the haters come with the territory. 

Concluding their series on Jillian’s book, Fire the Haters, August and Jillian talk about overcoming struggles, trusting the process, and finding your identity in actions rather than outcomes.  With her book out in the world, Jillian moved from creating to managing her expectations for how it is received. We can’t control the outcomes of our work, but we can optimize for not being discouraged.  Trust the Process Rather than being pulled into the hurricane of how people feel about your work, learn to pause and take a breath, regain your composure, and move forward. Trust in the process.  If your identity is attached to outcomes, it can be devastating when things don’t go as planned. However, when you have a broad definition of success rooted in the process, you find yourself winning more often without tanking your self-confidence.  Test and Scale “Maybe you want those audacious goals – break that down into, “What is the process I need to get there?” …That allows us to detach from the outcomes.” You don’t have to go big or go home. You can test and scale in a way that makes your work sustainable for the long run. There will never be enough time to create the perfect plan and have every detail is in place before starting something.  “You can’t know everything you need to know before you start.”  Don’t get stuck at the starting line. Instead, consider what you can do in 1-4 hours to move your project forward without sacrificing yourself. Rather than striving for perfection, take action towards progress.  Allow Yourself to be Fully Human “I could funnel my energy into perfectionism, or I could funnel my energy into progress. But those two things could not happen simultaneously”.  Outcomes aren’t guaranteed, making them a dangerous place to anchor your identity. However, actions in the process can be helpful in reminding yourself who you are. If you are writing, you are a writer. If you are making art, you are an artist. Permit yourself to elevate progress over perfection on your journey.  If you have read Jillian’s book, help her reach her audacious goal by leaving an Amazon review. Still, need a copy? Find it here. 

Pat Flynn knows what it’s like to be criticized online, but by persevering, he has learned a few rules of engagement to help guide creators and entrepreneurs.  For more information, visit the show notes at https://www.jillianjohnsrud.com/rules-of-engagement-with-pat-flynn/

Join Jillian, Joshua Becker, and The Hope Effect director Joe Darago to hear about how you can impact orphan care worldwide because every child deserves a family.  For more information, visit the show notes at https://www.jillianjohnsrud.com/the-hope-effect

Two years after starting a business and excited about the enormous growth opportunities on the horizon, Christine Wheatley had to shut everything down. Was it worth it? Listen here at Libsyn, Apple, Castbox, Spotify, or your favorite player. When Christine started, A Little Local Flavor in downtown Nashville she was like all new business owners, excited about her great idea but facing her own imposter syndrome in light of the 136 other tour companies in the area. Her superpower to bridge the confidence gap was knowing that this new endeavor didn’t have to be her sole source of income.  Success isn’t a straight line. It takes a lot of experimenting, and sorting through your personal finances helps. You don’t have to have complete financial freedom, but:  “Have some financial runway with your business so you can try different things.” There will be growing pains. You can’t know the perfect plan before your start. But, you will learn while doing the work (Learn more about how confidence and clarity come in the doing in Jillian’s book, Fire the Haters). Christine emphasizes that the growing pains are worth it! Learning to be flexible and to trust yourself to overcome challenges helps you grow into your identity.  This wisdom didn’t come without its own price. Having dealt with her business’s growing pains and ready to take on the next season, Christine was excited! Until the pandemic.  “I shut everything down. It was awful.  I had no income.  I had to furlough my team.”  There is no guidebook on watching your business crash because of a global pandemic. You can plan for a recession, but how do you prepare for an immediate loss of all your business? However, Christine pushes back against the fear that might prevent someone from starting a business.  “Do not ever not start a business because of what you’ve seen happen to hundreds of thousands of small businesses during the pandemic.” When faced with her own introspective question, “Was it worth it?” instead of seeing all the hard things, she was met with a montage of all the good: happy people, her fantastic team, and the person she had become through it all.  “Even if I never reopened, I would never trade that.”  She is reopening, A Little Local Flavor and has a new superpower she is bringing into her business: fearlessness. She knows she can weather the storm, and she knows it’s always worth the effort, growing pains, and learning that come with any good adventure and endeavor. 

August and Jillian talk through part two of Fire the Haters. Learn how to move past procrastination and give yourself permission to ship your best self - at this moment - into the world.

Ryan Nicodemus from The Minimalists stops by to talk about embracing imposter syndrome and failure as you put your work out into the world. When Ryan was starting out as part of THE Minimalists, a lot of pressure came with that name. There is comfort in knowing that everyone, no matter how successful, has likely dealt with imposter syndrome. Learning to accept that one never truly “arrives” has allowed Ryan to keep growing and learning.  “There is a piece of me that hopes I never actually get there…I don’t think about being a master at something anymore. I think about being genuine.” When it comes to the critical voices in your life, the ones that feed that imposter syndrome, none is more painful than those from friends and family.  Ryan points out that criticism projected at you and your work is usually not about you. It’s about the critic. There is a difference between criticism and feedback.  The voices in your life that can present a problem with kindness and even help you move towards a solution are valuable, but the critic merely wants to destroy or discredit your work.  We will all fail. We will have our work criticized. Unfortunately, it’s the rule rather than the exception.  “If you put work out there and it is not getting criticized, then your work is probably not that impactful.”  We want to make people feel something. So, embrace the journey.  “The longer you put off embracing failure, the longer you are going to put off being successful.”  Check out Jillian’s book Fire the Haters for more information on creating in a critical world.   

Jillian sits down with her dear friend, August, to talk about part of her new book, Fire the Haters. Empowering yourself and your work starts with setting boundaries.  Finding courage in an online world is intimidating, but you and your work are worth taking the risk. Jillian shares three hints on how to be successful online and in your personal life, too.  #1. Set up rules for yourself  “Other people can’t know your rules for you.”  We all have our limits. When we feel burned out, it is often because we either didn’t communicate our rule well or we stopped following it. The expectations other people have for you are endless, and they will distract you from focusing on what you really want.  Consider what keeps you working, productive, and happy. Then, align your values and schedule to those things. That may mean not replying to every email within 48 hours or making sure you get 8 hours of sleep every night.  #2. Give yourself the gift of being misunderstood Your work can feel like an extension of yourself, but the reality is that you have created it, and now you have to let it speak for itself. Of course, people will get it wrong, but trying to moderate your way into making them understand is a losing battle.  “You can’t protect things online. If it’s not grown, don’t ship it.”  #3. You can create a wide circle around your triggers We all have our stuff. We have bruises that most people may not see, but if they get poked, they are very painful. So you have permission to create a wide circle around those bruises. It is your best chance for survival. You don’t have to engage with the thing that hurts the most.  By “firing the haters,” you empower yourself to set boundaries, decide what is and isn’t allowed, and free yourself from other people’s bad behavior. That’s a step in the right direction.  Get your copy of Fire the Haters: Finding Courage to Create Online in a Critical World on Amazon.

Could things be different? That is the question Nicole Santiago answered when she embraced the art of flexibility and pivoted careers during her mini-retirement.  Nicole connected with Jillian in 2017. A full-time teacher who just had her third child, Nicole and her husband were stuck. Nicole, highly invested in her classroom but wanting to do more, was looking for a way to spend more time with her family and not be so stressed out.  Through her blog, she found an outlet and more purpose.  “I got a taste for work that was really impactful.”  Seeing the value in her side-gig, Nicole wondered if she could find a way to shift away from her nine to five job.  Enter Jillian’s mini-retirement course.  “Working through the course gave me the plan to say, ‘This is actually possible, and here are the steps’.” Nicole helped get her husband on board by leading with an idea he would love: living in Puerto Rico for a year.  After selling their house in the expensive city of D.C., they set out on a three-month road trip. Landing in San Antonio, it became apparent that the stability of Puerto Rico, after the governor was overthrown, was not ideal for their young family.  So, they pivoted. The Santiagos bought a home in San Antonio because it was cheaper than renting.  Nicole was not giving up her vision for their future. This mindset was crucial when six months in, her husband’s work in special events completely disappeared because of Covid.  Rattled but persistent and curious, they pressed on. “You have to grab on tight because things will come that will shake you.” Nicole is so thankful they stayed the course, grew her business, and settled into their envisioned life.  Find more about Nicole’s work supporting parents and their children with learning differences as an executive function coach on her website and Instagram.