What to Do When There's a Desire Mismatch in Your Marriage

On today's soul-stirring episode, Christa welcomes a special guest – her husband Wes. As a social dominant, Wes has spent years mastering the delicate art of balancing his natural pull toward community and connection with the equally vital needs of self-preservation and one-on-one intimacy. Join us for an intimate conversation that weaves through the landscape of instinctual drives, exploring how we can honor our core nature while growing into our blind spots. Whether you're social-first like Wes or simply curious about the dance between giving to others and nurturing yourself, this episode offers wisdom, vulnerability, and practical insights for anyone seeking to harmonize their instinctual drives. Tune in for a conversation that might just change how you understand yourself and your relationships. Watch on YouTube https://youtu.be/MOejYRMyuWs Use code SAVE50 here for 50% off of the Discovering Your Desires (Instincts) PDF for a spouse stocking stuffer!! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/discovering-your-desires-together/p/the-three-desires-a-deeper-dive-wthe-enneagram-instincts-in-relationship Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. Use the code SAVE50 for half off this holiday!! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tis the season where you can get SO busy with trying to wrap things up at work or school that you can forget the kind of things you can wrap up in terms of presents for your people - and the kinds of gifts that just can't be wrapped up, too, like fun experiences together. This holiday, take our team’s reminders of some of the classics that each of the Enneagram types enjoys being gifted this season, as well as for some tips to help you simply appreciate the gift-giver themselves. Listen right here! Get today's 5 for 500 session package for the year ahead! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/buy-a-coaching-session-or-package/p/5-session-glow-up-coaching-package-rl2xy Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. Use the code for your own HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off any product this holiday!! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The people in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana try their best to make sure the world is run according to the best of their ideals on one of the world's favorite shows to binge, Parks and Rec. The show, a political satire, is ultimately a tribute to loving your neighbor even when your neighbor is frustrating for you and has different ideals. Today, Christa and Melody are taking a fun time-out during the holiday rush to collaborate on typing the show's biggest personalities. We hope you’ll enjoy typing them with us in this just-for-fun E + M episode! Music added by Jack Hardin Watch on Youtube! Get on the email list here for the 12 Days of Christmas sales! https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/kcxt8k7431 Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. Use the code for your own HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off any product this holiday!! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When something really hard hits you around the holidays, you need both help and hope. Today’s mini-episode delivers both, and adds a spark of joy to ground you as many times as you need it as you reflect, heal, and honor the harder days and moments in your life and what they mean. Join Christa here for three important tips during or after a dark night of the soul. Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/L7wyHt8ORWo Get on the E + M email list! https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/kcxt8k7431 Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of our freebies, goodies, and gift ideas. Use the code for your own HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off any product this holiday!! We have so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The way to unity is not through uniformity, it is through understanding and loving the other." - Lore Ferguson Wilbert. Whether it’s your spouse, family member, or your neighbor, it’s not always easy loving someone with differences. Yet chemistry is not sameness, and today we are grateful to have Christianity Today book award author Lore Ferguson, 9 (9w8 and 6w5 pairing), Wilbert on the pod today to encourage us in a Christ-like loving of the other - whatever that means - in our lives. We also enjoy talking about Lore's beautiful book, The Understory as she helps us to see the parallels of Christian faith in the resilience and rootedness found in the minutiae and cycles of the natural world. May we truly find the courage to step into the community and love those who believe differently as we learn from Lore here on today's show. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NmkQQHVh-bI More about Lore: Lore Ferguson Wilbert is an award winning writer, thinker, learner, and author of the books, The Understory, A Curious Faith and Handle With Care. She has written for She Reads Truth, Christianity Today, and more, as well as her own site, lorewilbert.com. She has a Masters in Spiritual Formation and Leadership and loves to think and write about the intersection of human formation and the gritty stuff of earth. You can find Lore on Instagram @lorewilbert. She lives with her husband Nate and their pups, Harper and Rilke, in southeastern Pennsylvania. She really has read all the books on her shelves. Find Lori’s community of Substack members over at: https://lorewilbert.com/ Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. Use the code for your own HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off any product this holiday!! We have so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at our sister site www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The busy times over the holidays can truly take a person -- and a marriage -- down to an unhealthy level if they're not intentionally stepping into life with faithful steps. Don't miss this refreshing take on how the Enneagram Instincts/Desires can help you fall into rhythms of being present to rest, loving, and giving this season and beyond in this E + M Mini-Episode! Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IEbo4wm-AwM Resources Mentioned In This Episode: The Desires/Instincts Freebie is here: The Three Desire: A Deeper Dive w/The Enneagram Instincts in Relationship is Here: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/discovering-your-desires-together/p/the-three-desires-a-deeper-dive-wthe-enneagram-instincts-in-relationship Make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. Use the code for your own HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off any product this holiday!! We have so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Advent begins in the dark, and at this weary time of year, we truly need reminders of what we can hope for and how we can remain with one another, despite the hardest hurts that make us want to draw away. As we do so, we're joined by the exquisitely talented, award-winning writer and senior editor at Harper One, Stephanie Duncan Smith, 4 (4-8 pairing) as she talks about her new book that addresses finding light even after darkness, Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway. Today we get to process what Advent means as we enter the season, but moreover, we get to hear Stephanie‘s rich stories about the ways that she has encountered finiteness and loss and also opened herself up to joy even after harrowing experiences of both live births and pregnancy losses during the Advent season. During Advent and beyond, do not miss this journey of sharing our hopes and desires to cope after our losses. Join us for a beautiful and hope-filled episode right here. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZYIyTVmdx8k More About Stephanie: Stephanie Duncan Smith is a writer and senior editor at HarperOne who has spent her career developing award-winning and bestselling authors. She is the creator of Slant Letter, a bestselling Substack email newsletter for writers looking to deepen their craft and do it in style. Duncan Smith completed her master’s in theology at Western Theological Seminary, where she was the winner of the Frederick Buechner Prize for Excellence in Writing. She lives with her husband, Zach, a professor, and their two children in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Show Notes: Get Stephanie‘s brand new title here this Advent: Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway : https://a.co/d/f5w6z5Z Follow Stephanie on Substack, the Slant Letter right here: https://substack.com/@stephanieduncansmith Find Stephanie on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/stephduncansmith/?hl=en Also, make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of our deals using the code HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Often couples have a mismatch in their sexual desire, and sometimes that desire is stronger in the females, not just the males, contrary to popular belief, and the reasons are complex, no matter the case for either spouse. Whatever your story is, today's episode reminds you of ways you can discuss and work through your mismatched sexual desire as you walk through through this busy season with beautiful connection as well. Also, make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of our deals using the code HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yQ4t3GG8g20 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Relational triggers only get worse when we're not aware of our focus of attention and blind spots. Today we're grateful to have world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, MD, (Harvard Medical School, Author of the NYT Best-Selling The Whole Brained Child) on the Enneagram & Marriage podcast to help us process relational triggers of each type and how to create a healthy window of tolerance as we walk through the nine patterns of development today. Dr. Siegel, MD is one of the foremost experts on neurobiology in the world, including being the scientist who coined the terms, "window of tolerance," and "interpersonal neurobiology." His long-awaited newest book, "Personality and Wholeness in Therapy: Integrating 9 Patterns of Developmental Pathways in Clinical Practice" is a gift to therapists and lay scholars and listeners alike. Don't miss Dr. Dan Siegal's riveting research and practical tips for us all on the E + M pod today! Daniel J. Siegel received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. He served as a National Institute of Mental Health Research Fellow at UCLA, studying family interactions with an emphasis on how attachment experiences influence emotions, behavior, autobiographical memory and narrative. Dr. Siegel, MD has lectured for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and London’s Royal Society of Arts (RSA). He lives in Southern California with his family. Get his new book here on Amazon! https://a.co/d/ejrxfL7 Get his New York Times Best-Selling book, The Whole Brained Child, and others here on his website: https://drdansiegel.com/books/ Learn more about Dr. Dan Siegel, MD here! https://drdansiegel.com/ We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Communication between partners can get very sticky around the holidays so today we’re taking some time to allow you a chance to refresh and review the best ways to communicate as partners of each type. It won’t be easy at times, but these E + M quick tips will help you to have a beautiful glow all season long. Listen now to add a little sparkle of kindness into your season! Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/hzAwqYyn6DM Get Christa's book for stocking stuffers or as part of a holiday gift package for a couple you love! https://a.co/d/dZgarTG Also, make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of our deals using the code HOLIDAYLOVE for $10 off so many products, including our new MBTI rollout over at www.MyersBriggsandMarriage.com! You can also get the deals on Dating Divas sexy subscription and more here! https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/?sca_ref=6272364.4hv7IY3580 We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For the E + M WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o We share new posts each week @ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices