Post Divorce Glowup

In this week’s episode I share some of the dilemmas you have to face when you experience Christmas as a divorcee. I cover everything from splitting time with kids, whether to buy your ex a gift to creating an elf on the shelf and a Santa story that makes sense to your kids now living in two homes. Christmas is a big holiday that’s filled with holiday cheer and holiday stress. Dealing with the changes and pain of divorce brings even more stress and emotions. All we can do is give ourselves grace, allow ourselves to feel all the emotions, and cherish the time we get to spend with the people we love. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

In this week's episode I share my experience of being a fifth wheel on an unexpected double date. My initial reaction was ‘Count Me Out’! I felt that if I went I would feel lonely and uncomfortable. I hate to say, I was right lol. Although I felt alone and uncomfortable at times, I realized my fear of being uncomfortable was less than I thought it would be. I now understand that although social settings post divorce can be difficult, we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones in order to move forward so that we don’t miss out on experiences because we are now single. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

In this week's episode I share how having limiting beliefs keeps us stuck and holds us back from accomplishing our goals and living the lives we want and deserve. Instead of waiting for new years to make changes in your life, start today. Waiting season is over. It is your season and your opportunity to create the life you deserve. Let’s overcome our limiting beliefs that are keeping us stuck and move forward. Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Book References: “Atomic Habits” by James Clear “Worthy” by Jamie Kern Lima

In this week's episode I share my experience of my first major holiday alone, Thanksgiving. I never imagined not being with family, my child or friends on such a big holiday. It was hard! I felt angry, depressed, disappointed, and lonely. If this is your first holiday on your divorce journey, my advice to you is to allow yourself to feel all of your emotions, allow the people you love to support you, stay off social media, create new traditions, and focus on all that you are thankful for. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

In this week’s episode I share my first social with my ex and his new family. We all know that after a divorce both parties will move on. It’s one thing to know that and another to experience it. I had a lot of anxiety after finding out my ex, his new partner and her children would be attending our son’s birthday party. Would it be awkward? What would people say? It turned out that it was the perfect set up! I was busy hosting and there were so many people we barely interacted. Either way, the band-aid has been ripped off. I understand that what I want is for my child to feel loved and to not have to worry about the adults and their feelings. My advice is to put your big girl panties on and allow the blending of the families, if you can. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

In this week's episode I share my journey of coparenting. For some reason, I thought that divorce and coparenting meant complete shared responsibility. I soon realized that although I was now divorced, my role as 'Primary Parent' still remained. All the decision-making and managing our child’s life still falls on me. I quickly became resentful. Even though my responsibilities haven’t changed, our relationship has. I could not expect a show of appreciation or a thank-you. I learned not to expect acknowledgment of all the physical and mental work I put in to make our new dynamic work. Having expectations leads to disappointment. I’ve learned to do what I need to do for our child. If a thank you comes, that’s great. If it doesn’t, it’s not going to stop me from being the best mom I can be. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

In this week’s episode I share one of the possibilities of dating as a woman of a certain age. I’ve realized that, as a woman in her forties, I can date a man in his late twenties to whatever age I want. That means I could have the option of dating a man or his dad and both ages could work for me. It comes down to if you want to be considered a cougar, wanting a sugar daddy, or somewhere in between. Who would have thought, after all those fears, that no one would want me or that I’d ever find someone again, that I would one day realize I had a plethora of options. Dating after divorce is scary, but it’s also a lot of fun. So, whether you decide to wear your cougar crown with pride, be a trophy to your sugar daddy or just try to find a man your age, know that there are plenty of fish in the sea and get out there and start fishing. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

In this week’s episode I share my journey to deciding what’s most important to me in my next partner. The fact that he’s a good man or that he can provide for me financially. Of course, in a fairytale you wouldn’t have to choose, but this is real life. If you are a successful woman, the number of men that are at your level financially is lower. We’ve been conditioned to think the most important role a man plays, in a relationship, is provider and that he has to provide more, or he is less then. During my dating process, I realized that good on paper doesn’t mean good for you. At the end of the day, finding someone who is loving, honest, kind, patient, considerate, etc. is more important and valuable than a man who can buy you expensive things. Although I would love both, a man that is good for my heart is more valuable than a man that’s good for my bank account. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorvednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== As mentioned in the episode https://www.instagram.com/radiantsolbotanicals/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

On this week’s episode I share my journey in letting go of the “shame” that we carry during the divorce process. What I’ve learned is a lot of the opinions we think people are going to have about us are our projected inner thoughts. I’m a failure, no one will want me, I’m going to negatively impact my kids. Let go of the BS! Making the decision to leave an unhealthy marriage took courage. You will soon realize that leaving your comfort zone was needed in order for you to grow into the amazing woman you are becoming. Even though divorce is tough and heartbreaking, there is a blessing in it. You become a better version of yourself through healing and growth. So say it loud, “I’m divorced, and I’m proud!” Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

In this week's episode I discuss the steps I took to co-parent with my ex while also healing from the pain of the divorce. I realized that emotionally disconnecting, establishing boundaries, effectively communicating, expressing my feelings in healthy ways and separating who he was as my spouse from who he was as a parent helped us have a respectful and productive co-parenting relationship. It took time and a lot of blow ups to get to where I am now, but by implementing those steps and giving myself grace, I’ve finally achieved a peaceful co-parenting relationship. While going through all the trials a divorce brings, remember it’s not about your ex, it’s about what’s best for your children. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr