My Struggle To Stop Self Abandoning

Self-abandonment is something I've struggled with my entire life. Putting others' wants, needs, and desires before my own is just how I've lived my life. I thought it made me 'a good person'. I've learned that prioritizing yourself does not make you selfish. In this week's episode I share my journey in trying to change my mindset. I've realized that before I'm ready to enter into a relationship, I want to make sure I love myself enough that I won't self-abandon to receive love from someone else. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Dating is fun. There's nothing like getting your confidence back and going out there and getting your groove back, post divorce. In this week's episode I share my struggle with balancing motherhood, career, personal goals and dating. I've realized that I'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by my life all the time. Something has got to give. Although I love the fun that dating can bring, at this point in my life it's not the most important thing. Being a great mother, chasing my dreams and taking care of myself takes priority. I've decided to stop ignoring my gut and make changes that allow me to focus on what's most important to me. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

In this week’s episode I share my journey to and through getting dickmatized! Sex after divorce can be both scary and exciting. On my journey I fell hard and fast into the dicksand. After going so many years without having sex, once I started again I lost my sense of self and my focus. Feeling wanted and desired after the feelings of rejection that a divorce brings can be addicting. Creating that connection with the wrong person can lead to you over looking red flags and staying in a relationship with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons. Having amazing sex is not the problem. I wish that for all of us! However, loosing yourself and your focus in the process is not okay. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Getting back out there after divorce is scary. I had spent years in a sexless marriage. I had learned, out of necessity, to suppress that part of myself. Eventually, I decided that I was ready to get back out there and get me some. Before I did, I took time to work on my self-worth, self-confidence, and spend time getting to know myself sexually again. All my hard work paid off because once I got back out there, I experienced the best sex of my life. I know putting yourself out there might be scary, but remember in this chapter we are not only creating the life we deserve, but the sex life we deserve as well. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

I've recently become a member of 'The First Wives Club'. Being the first wife, I spent a lot of years nurturing, sacrificing, and financially supporting my ex-husband. I was investing in the potential I saw in him. In this week's episode, I share how it feels when you help your partner achieve their goals only to watch another woman enjoy the fruits of your labor. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

This week I decided to replay on of my favorite episodes. In this episode I share how facing my fears of failure and rejection, by taking chances, allowed me to accomplish things I never thought I could. During my divorce I struggled most with feeling rejected and like a failure. The person I loved no longer wanted me and I couldn’t keep my family together. Through therapy and self reflection I finally understood that it’s not one persons responsibility to keep a marriage together and just because someone doesn’t see your value, doesn’t mean you’re not valuable! Those fears not only kept me in an unhealthy marriage, they kept me from trying new things and chasing my dreams. Once I made the toughest and scariest decision to file for divorce, I became a lot less fearful. I was able to launch this podcast, date for the first time as an adult, create a business , and create the life I deserve. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

One of my biggest fears about getting divorced was that, once my ex moved on, that meant that there would be another woman in my child's life. Will she treat him well? Will she cause issues in our coparenting relationship? Would she create a wedge between my son and his father? Once I realized it was actually happening, the worry and anxiety hit me hard! After time went on, I didn't experience any of these things. I have to say I've been lucky. Even though things are going pretty well, the thought of another woman being in my child's life still feels weird. I feel that one day I will get to the point where I might want to build a rapport or relationship with her, but I'm not there yet. lol. What I've learned is, no matter how I feel about my ex's new partner, I have to always try to conduct myself in a way that creates the best end result for our son. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Facing big holidays after a divorce can be hard. On this week's episode I share my post-divorce Mother's Day experience. I also share how I plan to spend this Mother's Day. If you don't have your children on Mother's Day, always remember making time to celebrate is what's important. It doesn't have to be on a particular day. As mentioned in the show. Last years Mother’s Day podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorced-but-not-dead-yet/id1739381494?i=1000655647487 Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

When getting divorced, you know that eventually your Ex will move on. You also accept the fact that you will have to be around them with their new partner, especially if you have kids together. What I never thought of was having to experience being constantly mistaken for my Exes new partner. In this week's episode I share how I've dealt with this case of mistaken identity while trying not to lose it! Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

I've gone through a lot of name changes with my Ex over the years. From Hubby and Babe to Ex, Liar, 'My child's father', that man I wasted years on lol. I'm now in a place where the chronic animosity is gone, and his new name is Wasband. In this week's episode I share my journey of healing through the hurt and anger my divorce caused in order to allow me to view my Wasband as my coparent and not the man that broke my heart. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr