Ex Wife Math (Reflect and Replay)

I love being a boy mom! I remember being pregnant and feeling like one of the perks of having a boy was that my husband would be more hands-on as our son got older. Now that I'm divorced, that thought terrifies me. What if one day my son looks at me and says, "I want to go live with my dad"! Although I'm grateful my ex-husband is hands-on and has a great relationship with my son, it scares me that one day he might need his dad more than me. As a result, he may want to live with his dad full-time! The thought of that makes me sad and gives me anxiety. In this week's episode, I share my 'boy mom' fears of how divorce could impact my mother-son relationship in the future. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

In this episode I will share my experience of negotiating spousal support during the divorce process. I realized that my inability to speak up for myself, my people pleasing ways, pride, and emotional exhaustion heavily influenced the decisions I made. I hope that you will learn from my mistakes and know that whatever support you get from your ex, financially, should not be attached to shame or fear. I want you to feel empowered to ask for what you deserve and you deserve to “ Get that Money, Honey”. Lol Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

In this week’s episode, I share what it felt like to find out my ex-husband is engaged! As you can imagine, I went through a roller coaster of emotions. The truth of the matter is, men tend to move on very quickly after divorce, so brace yourself. What I found to help me is keeping a list and checking it twice. Lol. My therapist recommended that I make a list of all the things that brought me hurt and pain throughout our marriage. Whenever I get triggered by my exes actions that send me down a rabbit hole of self doubt I pull out that list. Doing so keeps me rooted in the reality of what the relationship was and why I ultimately made the right decision. Connect with me @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Birthdays are a time for reflection. There were a lot of birthdays where I was depressed, angry and frustrated. I didn't like the state of my life and I felt like there was nothing I could do about it. This past year was the first time in a long time that I looked back and liked what I saw. Last year I turned forty. During that time, I started dating, started my podcast, picked up a lot of exciting hobbies, gained more financial stability, and became more comfortable in my skin. None of these things just happened. I worked to accomplish them. This year I learned you can make anything in your life better with effort. Also, I'm always going to be a work in progress and that's okay. Finally, getting older doesn't limit your ability to create the life you want. Instead of feeling anxious about getting older, I'm excited about what life has in store for me. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

In this week’s episode, I share my journey to rebuilding my confidence and discovering my self worth. Living through a bad relationship and going through a divorce really affects your confidence and challenges your self worth. I’ve learned that getting rid of negative self talk and replacing it with positive affirmations really helped change the way I felt about myself. Grab a piece of paper or some post-it’s and write down all the things that you love about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat them daily. It will seem crazy at first but eventually you’ll start to remember the amazing person that you are and realize what you deserve. You are worthy of a life filled with joy, peace and love. “Worthy” by Jamie Kern Lima https://www.instagram.com/jamiekernlima?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Redefining Wealth Podcast with Patrice Washington https://www.instagram.com/seekwisdompcw?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Connect with me @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Just like most young girls who grew up on Disney movies, I couldn't wait for my Prince Charming to come into my life. The day that my ex-husband proposed was one of the happiest days of my life. I have been chosen! I was no longer a girlfriend honey, I was a Fiancé and soon-to-be wife. I wore my ring with pride. I looked down at it, and it reflected back to me the love I'd been waiting for. Then life happened, and that same ring became a reminder of the disappointments, hurt, disrespect and heartbreak. Eventually, I stopped wearing my ring and until recently I hadn't thought about it. Funny how something at one time meant so much can now mean so little. On this part of my journey I'm trying to decide what to do with it. Right now, letting it go and using the money to treat myself is looking good. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr As mentioned in this episode https://www.instagram.com/wearesoworthy?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

This week I decided to rerelease one of my first and favorite episodes. It's important to go back to laugh and reflect on my journey in order to see how far I have come and how far I have to go. In this episode I discuss my journey from fear to freedom. Sometimes we need a little push to get over our fears. For me, my first push came from becoming a mother. My second push involved me naked in public minus my wig! I’ve learned that change and growth can come out of necessity or sheer embarrassment. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

How many times have you answered "I'm fine" when someone asked how you were? You said you were fine, but you were far from it. Why do we do that? Why do be pretend? I spent the majority of my life being dishonest with others and being dishonest with myself. I realized that my goal going forward is to create a life for myself that when someone asks me how I am, I can actually say "fine" and mean it and if I'm not fine I can be honest and not pretend. I've learned that there will never be a time when everything in my life is "perfect", but practicing mindfulness and gratitude will help me stay focused on what I have and help me manage the things I can't control. Connect with me on Instagram @Divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Your peace is priceless. It took me years to learn that lesson. I spent years in a bad marriage, anxious, depressed and emotionally exhausted. It wasn't until I moved into my own space that I experienced peace for the first time in a long time. I realized that I was holding on to a 'piece of man', my ex. In exchange, I was giving up my peace and peace of mind. It wasn't worth it! Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

It's Valentine's Day! It's that time when you are faced with a holiday that is all about love. It can be very triggering if you're in an unhealthy relationship, or you're alone. Everywhere you turn, you are being bombarded by how someone should be making you feel special or loved on this day and if you're in an unhealthy relationship, going through a divorce or single, that's probably not going to be your experience. Becoming consumed with the day and what it's supposed to represent can put you in a space of questioning if you're worthy or lovable, which could lead to feeling angry, sad and depressed. This holiday is a tough one for us on our divorce journey. In this episode I share my last four Valentine's Day experiences. There's no pain and loneliness like having a partner you love and Valentine's Day comes, and you're ignored. I realized that it was harder to experience this holiday unhappily married than happily divorced. How I've gotten through it is by staying off social media, spending time with friends on that day, and showing myself some love. Remember that it's just one day and you will get through it. Connect with me on Instagram @divorcednotdeadyet https://www.instagram.com/divorcednotdeadyet?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr